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thehim t1_jc8cpan wrote

This is not a fuckup, you’re both at the same gym, you’ll see her again

846

dcguy010 t1_jc8dnyy wrote

A lot of women don't like being approached at the gym, so a low key ice breaker is a good way to start.

154

carlosnobigdeal t1_jc8eos5 wrote

You did well. I was expecting a big fu. You don’t just ask for a number random. She doesn’t know you yet. You’ve already said it, but next time you see her just casually say hey.

7

ThatKaleidoscope8736 t1_jc8eq9v wrote

I think you did a solid. If you would've started chatting her up like everyone else it wouldn't have been appreciated. Joking about relatable experiences in the gym is a good way to get your confidence up about approaching her.

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luv2fishpublic t1_jc8gts5 wrote

"Always leave them wanting more" is solid advice, whether it's a broadway show or a movie or a brief encounter. I bet she's intrigued and thinking about seeing you at the gym next time.

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Osirus1212 t1_jc8hlb8 wrote

I actually think this was good, she was probably never has a guy NOT ask for her number. If you see her again, see if she waves or acknowledges you. I have the same anxiety and it really sucks when you finally get the nerve and either mess up or get rejected. But I think you did just fine

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OkVolume1 t1_jc8im6q wrote

As far as rando condos are the gym goes, this sounds like a good one.

You'll see her again. Just play it cool. Maybe tell her your name next time.

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LordRupertEvertonne t1_jc8k42l wrote

You did perfect. You said it yourself - girls aren’t at the gym to find a date and don’t want to be bothered.

Next time, you have a door to wave, smile and say hi. Leave it at that. Maybe a quick, “How’s it going?” Let it go organic after that. If she’s into you, she’ll reciprocate. Then down the road (months! Not days) you can drop a, “Hey, I was going to grab a smoothie, would you want to join?” Or something like that.

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kirhers t1_jc8liem wrote

It's like when I bought my daughter implants when she turned 21. She found it akward at first but after getting the hottest guy in her college to fuck her she called me and said im the best dad ever. So what Im saying is, you might get a second chance at them appreciating you.

−20

commandrix t1_jc8v1qy wrote

And here I thought it was going to be something where you came off as a creep and got your gym membership suspended. Not getting another gym member's name is pretty mild in comparison.

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4_Legged_Duck t1_jc8xhlc wrote

Big win. Use this.

Next time you see her you can say, "hey, it's nice to see you again. Have a nice work out. Oh, you know I forget to ask you your name last time we chatted. I'm u/TravellingTrav. Nice to meet you formally this time." And go to your work out.

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BurritoB1tch t1_jc8y7y9 wrote

you didn't fuck up! as a woman at the gym, I don't like when men ask for my number the first time we meet. build a rapport with her and see how it goes from there. good job stepping out of your comfort zone :)

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BurritoB1tch t1_jc8y8lr wrote

you didn't fuck up! as a woman at the gym, I don't like when men ask for my number the first time we meet. build a rapport with her and see how it goes from there. good job stepping out of your comfort zone :)

11

zsebibaba t1_jc906ln wrote

jesus, talk to her next time.

−1

longrodvonhujjendong t1_jc96et7 wrote

If you see her again come back to read the advice and ground yourself before talking again. It will do you wonders. Especially keep you out of your emotional mind.

6

mcloving87 t1_jc970ua wrote

Let’s hope she doesn’t read this. With all those details it sounds like a stalker

13

ADonkeysJawbone t1_jc972i3 wrote

OP. There is hope. Listen, here’s what you gotta do… just train legs every day until you see her again. Own that squat rack!

When she comes in again to train, you give her the rack like a total gentleman, her gym hero if you will. What’s the worst that happens— you don’t see her for 4 months again? 4 months of training legs daily, you’ll have the quads of a Greek god!

EDIT: I should add I met my wife at the gym. Noticed her after partnering up during a HIIT group class at my gym (like 10 people), and saw she liked to foam roll after her workouts. So I booked it to the foam rollers after our next workout so that I’d casually be there first and she’s have to join ME instead of the other way around.

3

FG88_NR t1_jc97wrk wrote

I don't know, you might be reading too much into her being nice. You said she gets approached a lot at the gym? She likely has the small chat down from all the guys attempting to talk to her. Maybe you won some points, but I'm not sure how you're any different than any of the other gym bros that try talking to her, you know? I mean... you also kind of told her you been watching her haha

22

shield124 t1_jc98snz wrote

Yeah idk man this just seems really obsessive not going to lie. And putting down a “gym bro” for flexing in the mirror is a bit cringe. I wish you luck on your crush but focus on yourself in the main.

15

Sonnysdad t1_jc99jdg wrote

You’ve left yourself an open for a friendly tease and possibly a chat until you can come off as not a slimy gym rat “mirror queer” (I was a gym rat who checked himself out at home, just an out of shape dad now) I think it’s a good start Op.

1

Soma86ed t1_jc9hf1h wrote

Not a fuck up. Be patient. Just be normal and friendly. Names will come later.

1

Kailmo t1_jc9hk8k wrote

Not a FU good ground work. It's smart to not hit on her at the gym. We really don't like it. Next time just say hi and introduce yourself. Play the show game. You don't want to be a creeper at the gym. You really don't.

1

Tc2cv t1_jc9hydk wrote

Today you didn't fuck up...

You did better than you think. First establish a conversation, and build on that.

Try to be patient and let her ask the thing she is being harassed about. If she'll ask your number you're in.

If a bench gets abandoned next time you are both there, claim it and signal here over... Still not introducing or asking for numbers.

1

dianek93 t1_jc9ieq0 wrote

Not asking for her number the first time you had a conversation with her was probably great. You’ve seen her around a lot, so you know that you’ll see her again. Maybe get her name next time!

1

KairosGalvanized t1_jc9k44q wrote

This is good, not sure why you think it is a TIFU. Now next time you see her you have conversation starter.

Or you could just jokingly bunny run in front of her the next time your gym path takes you past her.

2

greg5ki t1_jc9kk0j wrote

Not a fuck up.

A fuck up would be you following her to her car and asking for her phone number.

17

sjw_7 t1_jc9lz4k wrote

This is not a fuckup. You had a short, friendly interaction with someone who shares a common interest. At no point was it creepy or made her uncomfortable because it went on too long.

She will most likely remember you and chat to you next time. All in all I would say this situation was a win for both of you.

1

kipha01 t1_jc9mtts wrote

That was perfect, completely friendly and open, you now have laid the ground work to occasionally chat to her and build up to something. Just don't fuck that up. You can always ask her if she wants to go for a coffee sometime if she says no, then you know she isn't interested but you will have a gym buddy.

1

SmokeLast6278 t1_jc9o0ag wrote

You did well and didn't fuck up.

As a woman, I'd be creeped out by someone who chats me up while I'm working out and asking for my name. Not the time and place. Talking about a relatable experience like that is fine. Don't make a point of chatting every time you see her, say hi but move on. Small talk from time to time. Get to know each other slowly. Eventually, you'll exchange names. Good luck!

1

sugoidesuuu t1_jc9phx4 wrote

You won today. Didn’t even swing but put yourself on the field. No hit, no miss, no foul. Presence is enough to ignite an organic conversation whenever you get the next chance I feel

1

Jujumofu t1_jc9pkt4 wrote

Well now she remembered a (seems like) Nice short conversation with you, which can easily turn into some greetings at the gym, to some more conversation where you can get to know each other a little bit and then you can still ask her out.

If she really gets talked to by so many guys, you probably did you a favour by striking the conversation down without asking for her number or anything.

1

Sleepdprived t1_jc9py5c wrote

Write your name and number down and slip it in her stuff. You introduced yourself, didn't come.off as pushy, and you can leave the ball in her court, and go about your normal day.

−1

zroberts318 t1_jc9qkf6 wrote

Plant that seed. Plant it with your finger

0

Own_Ad_8292 t1_jc9qnvc wrote

CRINGE

I would be deeply creeped out by the fact there are people checking me out and noticing my progress

19

mofuz t1_jc9rm2l wrote

I personally don’t appreciate being hit on and approached by men at the gym. It happens a lot and frequently interrupts what I’m doing. Im there to work out, not date.

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mrtrendsetter t1_jc9shj7 wrote

Nah bro you did that smooth ngl it’s probably good you didn’t ask for her name. Next time you have something to talk about

1

BlahMan06 t1_jc9td3b wrote

"I used to see like 5 guys a day approach her"

Guess what? You're 1 of 5.

12

derpmcsterp t1_jc9teay wrote

Yo this is best possible outcome. You weren't weird. Its a pretty nice and respectful introduction. You were mindful of her space.

3

su6oxone t1_jc9ttk2 wrote

I don't think understand the concept. This isn't a tifu. Just talk to her next time. That will probably work better anyway, make you seem less creepy.

0

Arsis82 t1_jc9tyob wrote

Far from a fuck up. You've start to lay the ground work, she's acknowledged you without any Implication she's repulsed by you, and seems to genuinely enjoy your interactions.

In all honesty, don't rush this, take your time, giver her space, and talk to her when it's necessary. Don't force yourself into situations, or make her uncomfortable by jumping the gun asking her out as it's possible that happens with guys there fairly often. Talk randomly and find real common ground and work from there. If you can't find any, I'd suggest just letting it go.

Lastly, suggesting you help her out with certain workouts is far from finding common ground and a huge gym bro approach to finding a reason to approach women.

1

FCOranje t1_jc9w3cd wrote

How you consider that a TIFU is beyond me. You said tons of guys flirt with her and she still hasn’t picked one. Obviously because it’s creepy to go to a girl in the gym and say “hey you’re hot”.

Girls need a bit of trust; respect; and to build a connection.

2

impar-exspiravit t1_jc9wqk8 wrote

Replying to thehim (#2,231,169)

Agree! This is actually good and probably something way cooler than what she normally hears, aka OP will pleasantly stand out. And it makes it easier for future interactions because it was easy and quick, the ball can be in anyone’s court still. Great time to give her a little smile and wave when you see her next and possibly later that time or the next ask to grab her name

12

Thialase t1_jca0o3i wrote

Yes this is "totally" a fuck up. As if you will never ever see her again jfc.

0

spellboundsilk92 t1_jca0q03 wrote

I mean on one hand it sounds like she was open to a quick conversation and it went well so good for you.

On the other hand I hope I’ve never been watched at the gym as much as you watched this girl. Don’t you have a workout to focus on?

6

samettinho t1_jca0sml wrote

You should have proposed right away. You got to know each other enough!

Joke aside, you have something to talk about or say hi next time. You dont ask for phone right away unless you talk enough. No need to learn her name yet either

1

ItsJustMeBeinCurious t1_jca2bxp wrote

Replying to thehim (#2,231,169)

Don't creep/stalk. You've opened the door a bit. If there's a hint of interest she will talk to you. Don't make the mistake and lunge.

She's there for the workout and so are you. It doesn't mean you can't meet someone there but it also doesn't mean she's there for a hookup.

5

BruceWilliz t1_jca2oaw wrote

Sounds like the beginning of a nice guy story. You're not better or worse than any other person working out regardless of how much more muscles than you they have. Have a normal chat if it naturally happens. Don't force it and stop overthinking it.

4

zDistinction t1_jca5fbw wrote

This isn’t a fuck up if she’s interested in you she’s gonna be thinking about you from this. DO NOT APOLOGIZE NEXT TIME YOU SEE HER. Keep it light and playful and just be like I just realized I didn’t get your name last time… wait for her to respond and then just say “it’s nice to me you (insert her name here). Don’t volunteer yours. If she asks it shows interest. If she doesn’t, it shows she doesn’t care enough to ask. Little things like this matter and give you insight into interest level. Keep her off a pedestal

0

_justtheonce_ t1_jca7koo wrote

Replying to thehim (#2,231,169)

I mean this is esentially ... "I spoke to my crush at the gym today" - but because really lets be honest, no one cares, they re-frame it as a TIFU....without any real actual fuckup.

3

BirdsBreadqk t1_jca8y8p wrote

I thought it was going to go "I walked up to her and then she started to scream at me that I was staring at her"

1

Souporsoaker t1_jca972p wrote

This ain’t a fuck up. If she asks you to spot her on the smith machine you know you’re in.

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Quummk t1_jcabwi3 wrote

Sleek, keep working on it.

1

reevelainen t1_jcahozc wrote

Let it grow, buddy. There's no rush really, since she's at the same gym. Immediately asking everything about her might ruin it, I think it's much cooler to get to know each other in peace, since you don't even know whether you like each other or not. You gained the permission to have a conversation with her in the future too, since the initial step is already been taken and the most polite (and therefore least telling) small talk is behing you, it's way less hard to start again. Maybe eventually you'll want her number or something later on but right know - I think you made the right call.

1

Manu3733 t1_jcap1zq wrote

OP how old are you? It's honestly really immature to be this caught up on some random girl you don't even know, and coming up with little "plans" on how to talk to her. I think you need to get more women in your life because this isn't healthy. If nothing ever comes of this, which is honestly a 99% chance (5 guys approach her a day dude and how many of them succeeded?), then you'll have wasted a serious amount of time and energy fixated on this all for nothing.

Download Tinder and hit some bars with your friends or something.

0

Manu3733 t1_jcaq2oe wrote

Replying to Front-Advantage-7035 (#2,231,465)

He knows what it means lol. It's just that it's pretty pathetic and childish to have a serious crush on a random stranger.

OP has basically been stalking this girl for months whereas she had literally no idea who he was until today.

2

FG88_NR t1_jcaszng wrote

Replying to derpmcsterp (#2,233,778)

It was a comment that had nothing to do with OP's fuck up and was inserted only to insult this guy that OP was jealous of for talking to some random girl he has been watching for a while now. A bathroom selfie at the gym is the least super cringe thing in this story haha

1

HereWeGoAgain797 t1_jcatolm wrote

Sorry dude I know your probably coming from a good place but you sound like a total creeper. The type of dude my wife tells me about from her gym, woman are totally aware when you’re checking them out even from across the gym. Just go talk to her straight up. Start with something about working out, make her laugh and see if she wants to go get some coffee.

0

marigolds6 t1_jcauilt wrote

You're cardio.

She's strength.

It will never work.

1

derpmcsterp t1_jcb94d7 wrote

Replying to FG88_NR (#2,235,716)

Idk. Im pretty sick of seeing it irl tbh. Like mate. Im trying to use the urinal here. And don't get me started about the self absorbed cretins doing selfies in the changing rooms

−1

cajunjoel t1_jcbc048 wrote

My man, this is the exact opposite of a fuck up. You treated her as a person, an equal and that is huge. You weren't a "bro" and I can tell that it didn't go unnoticeed by us, or by her. From her perspective, she had an interaction where she wasn't being hit on, which is probably refreshing.

1

shield124 t1_jccnh30 wrote

Replying to derpmcsterp (#2,236,599)

It’s not really about self absorption, for a lot of people it’s a way to track progress and feel proud of themselves. Sure doing it when people are changing/ pissing is not good etiquette but in the context that OP was using, he was just trying to put down a random dude he was jealous of.

0