This happened the day before yesterday. Yesterday was recovery. Today I tell the tale.

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For context, I'm currently in a bit of a financial rut. When I get free food, I have trouble not scarfing it down like it's about to be taken away from me. This is especially the case when I am high.

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It all started when I invited a friend over one evening and they, out of consideration for my needs, brought food. This was dangerous. There was a sweet bun hot dog the size of my forearm, and a fat slice of pepperoni pizza. Before the friend came over, I'd eaten a couple of Pogos. I told myself and my friend that I would be rationing this for the day. But then we got high.

On our way back from the weed store (bought weed for them, they are not 21 yet), they took me to the store to get more food for later. We got spicy cheesy Korean ramen, a korean sushi stick (idk what they're called), and my friend INSISTED I try milk soda. I was so grateful I nearly cried and had a mental breakdown in the store.

The strain was Jet Fuel Gelato. We rolled joint after joint until I was in an ape-like haze that barely passed as consciousness. This is when the hunger hit. The munchies.

The munchies I felt turned my tongue into a ravenous magnetic serpent that travelled into my stomach and controlled my body for me. There was no way I could fight it. I ate EVERYTHING. Like a chainsmoker, I chain-ate ALL this fucking food in the span of MAXIMUM 2 hours. A pepperoni pizza, a sweet bun hot dog, pogos, a bowl of cheesy ramen the size of my face, a strawberry milk soda.

The average human being is supposed to consume 2300mg of sodium a day. According to the nutritional value on the side of the ramen bowl, ONE bowl is 1190mg of sodium. I don't know about the other foods' sodium content, but whatever the case I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like whatever munchies serpent had possessed my tongue was now being exorcised, urging its way up my Sahara-dry throat to escape my equally dry mouth. An absolutely torturous nausea, especially because I'm competitive about and proud of never having puked in an inconvenient place. I dizzily made my way down the hall to the bathroom and puked everything up. In the toilet bowl I share with 4 male seat-lifting roommates, I saw everything tinted pink from my strawberry milk soda, all the chunky chewed cheesy ramen, the bits of crust from the pizza, clouds of (probably)hot dog that looked like spit roasted pre-chewed bubblegum. The thought still makes me gag. I cursed having smoked that much weed. I cursed having eaten all that food. It felt like a gremlin made of razor blades was thrashing around inside my stomach. I figured water would help me, so I chugged as much as I could then tried to sleep this off. I didn't have any garbage bags, so I put a fabric grocery bag by my bed to catch my hopefully solid enough vomit. My heart was racing. I was sweating. I was considering going to the hospital, but decided against it since the weed lethargy made me prioritise sleep over strategic self-preservation.

I puked SO much, eventually I was just puking water, then nothing. The grocery bag did not successfully contain this puke water. It slowly seeped out of the bag throughout the night/next day, creating a crust stain on my wooden floor that I pay rent for. My ribs ached.

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The next day was worse than a hangover. Spending all day waking up and falling asleep, sweating, chills, puking, diarrhea, chugging water then puking it back up. The mere thought of salt made me want to throw up. I glared at that fucking Korean cheesy spice ramen on the table as I writhed in my bed in absolute agony, an agony I inflicted upon myself with stoned gluttony and the misuse of my friend's generosity.

Another buddy of mine came to visit during my coma day. He brought me some juice with bananas in it since potassium reverses the effects of sodium or something. Today, I still feel like absolute shit... I'm just weaning back onto food. Ate an apple. This does not mean I'll never get high and cave in to my munchies again, though.

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TL;DR -- I incapacitated myself to near hospital-level sickness with stoned gluttony, and it was highly unpleasant.