Today, I royally fucked myself over by getting my dick stuck in a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse toy. Yes, you read that right. Let me explain.

So, I was feeling frisky and decided to have a little solo playtime. I had just been cleaning out my childhood toybox and going through all my old stuff to decide what to donate, but one toy in particular suddenly happened to catch my eye. The entrance to the clubhouse looked almost perfect for the circumference of my cock to snugly fit in. So, fueled by a potent cocktail of curiosity, rampant hormones, and a distinct lack of post-nut clarity, my horny ass decided to grab the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse toy and give it a whirl as a makeshift sex toy, and tried to "cum inside because it was fun inside" - just like Mickey Mouse says in the show. With a little of my mom's sunscreen as lotion, it was working pretty well, and I was having a great time. But little did I know I had made a fatal mistake.

Before I knew it, I was stuck. Like, really stuck. I tried everything to get my dick out of that toy - I even tried pouring oil on it - but nothing worked. Not even my mom's sunscreen. I was freaking out, and my dick was starting to turn as purple as Daisy Duck's everyday outfit.

Long story short, I had to call the fire department to come and rescue me. When they arrived, I had to explain the whole situation to them. Let's just say they didn't look too impressed.

So now I'm sitting here with a sore dick and a newfound appreciation for the dangers of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse toys. Moral of the story? Stick to the real sex toys, folks. And never try to "cum inside because it's fun inside" - it's not worth it.

TL;DR - Came inside and it WASN'T fun inside.