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Aussiealterego t1_jaq93lb wrote

There is really only one solution to this. You tell your Mum that upon reflection, she can't move in to your place either, based on her complete disregard for your boundaries/house rules the last time she stayed. Help her find a place, sure, but don't take her in. She has a couch for a few days.

Tell Fiance that you weren't thinking straight and that he is right. It has to be you two making decisions as a couple. ASK him if it is ok if she spends a week on the couch while she organises a place. Do not allow her to move in.

It is not your responsibility to cover for your MOTHER'S fk-ups and lack of planning.

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ChampionOfNurgle t1_jaqmz1z wrote

Was about to comment something similar so I'll just support this comment.

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Vanners8888 t1_jaro1bq wrote

I was too. I definitely can’t word it close to that well, so, well said Aussiealterego!! And good for OP for realizing she made a mistake, even better that she’s trying to fix it.

When having chaotic relatives your entire life, the storm they create has a different impact when you’re in the centre of it as opposed to being outside looking in. The chaos becomes the norm, we accept that’s how it is and live with it, without realizing that we don’t need to, nor are we obligated to. A change in life (spouse, kids, pets, graduation, career move etc), helps us to see it from a different perspective, that other peoples problems are not our own and are not our obligation to clean up.

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