I was too. I definitely can’t word it close to that well, so, well said Aussiealterego!! And good for OP for realizing she made a mistake, even better that she’s trying to fix it.

When having chaotic relatives your entire life, the storm they create has a different impact when you’re in the centre of it as opposed to being outside looking in. The chaos becomes the norm, we accept that’s how it is and live with it, without realizing that we don’t need to, nor are we obligated to. A change in life (spouse, kids, pets, graduation, career move etc), helps us to see it from a different perspective, that other peoples problems are not our own and are not our obligation to clean up.