Tifu By telling my mom(56f) she could move back into my(26f) apartment after she broke up, and subsequently got kicked out of her boyfriend's apartment... Without checking it with my fiancé. Btw throwaway account.

My mom hasn't been the best mother to me or my siblings our entire life. I am the youngest of three, with decently large age gaps to my siblings. My brother is 8 years older and my sister is 6 years older and so the moment they could get away, they did and went limited to no contact with her. When I was young, I definitely felt a little bit abandoned by them as I was the one who had to deal with all of her BS the longest. She was with her ex husband for 15 years and chose him constantly over us. This pattern of her choosing PoS men over her own family will be a constant in our relationship.

So back in November of 2021, my mom, being properly medicated and seeking therapy, wised up and finally left her ex. I had moved across the country right before the pandemic and went NC with her after. She got my aunt to contact me and essentially begged me to help my mom get away from her ex husband. I stupidly said, "Alright, but I have some rules."

1. She is to go NC with him unless it is to deal with divorce proceedings. (Come to find out, they technically got divorced 10 years prior when she last left him, and never got remarried)
2. Under no circumstances is he to know where I live.
3. No dating for a year.
4. Continue therapy

I didn't think my rules were that hard to accept. She's a serial dater, and always jumped from one relationship to another without any focus on herself, which is why I implemented Rule 3.... She broke that rule in 2 months, and even went behind my back. She also stopped therapy, even though it was all online.

My fiancé and I started dating in Jan of '22 and quickly fell in love. My mom's excuse for dating was that she felt like a third wheel around us. She quickly stopped spending time with me, and spent all of her free time going to the local bar and going on dates. By May, she started seriously seeing this guy she worked with and "slowly" moved in with him. I had my niece and nephew visiting for the summer, and on nights that I worked, instead of staying home to "watch" her grandkids, (they're preteens, not much babysitting needed) she'd drag them over to her boyfriend's house. The last weekend of July, I took them back home, and my mom moved what little she had left at my place and I barely spoke to her for the rest of the year.

This hurt me, I thought that for once in my life, I could regain somewhat of the mother-daughter relationship I was owed. I cried a lot, and this hurt my fiancé to see me like that. I found out that I was pregnant with my first in late August, and while she was happy for me, there was still very little contact with me. My fiancé moved in October, and we've been really happy ever since.

Until today. My mom comes over, unannounced, and is bawling. Her and her boyfriend broke up, and it was over something that I'd consider "trivial" and frankly "none of his business" (her car payment). I never liked the guy from the beginning. The three biggest reasons being:

He's racist : He's made racist remarks about my mom's family (she's from Portugal) and has said that my Puerto Rican fiancé is marrying me for a green card. (PRs are US citizens for those who don't know)

He's homophobic: He mocks one of their coworkers who is gay, and has told my nephew to "knock off that f-word shit". My nephew isn't gay... To our knowledge.

He's an alcoholic: This guy always has a beer in his hand. Always. The first time I met him, he slammed a tallboy beer in my spare bathroom and left the can sitting on top of my counter. Every time they go out to eat, always drinking. I'd understand a casual beer after work, but he's been drinking and driving HER CAR. I lost my dad to a drunk driving accident (he was the drunk driver) when I was 7 and my mom knows how I feel about that.

So good riddance to that piece of dog shit. The problem is now she doesn't have a place to go. Her friend has offered to put her up for a couple of nights, but she can't move in. However I have the room. Her old bedroom has been converted to a storage / cat room. I told her she can stay on the couch or bunk with the cats. There's a spare bed in the room, but she'll have to rearrange the room to sleep comfortably in it. I STUPIDLY said all of this to her before I spoke to my fiancé about it, and he's rightfully pissed off. I definitely spoke with my heart and not my brain. She said she was going to pay us rent, like before, and save up to get her own place. Ideally an easy feat considering she makes about $20k more than me, and she wouldn't be wasting her money on expensive outings... ideally. My fiancé was already having a bad day at work, and I feel like such an asshole by piling this on top. He did say that at the end of the day, my name is the only one on the lease, so it's my decision. But he lives here too, and I know what it's like when someone you might not be on the best of terms with, suddenly moves into your space. I have a few hours before he comes home, and while I currently can't erase this situation, I still want to figure a way to ease his anger, because I definitely F'd Up...

TL;DR: My mom broke up with her boyfriend, got kicked out, and I told her she can move in with me without checking it with my fiancé first, this him being rightfully pissed off.