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Comments
ilovemybrownies t1_jeclfyh wrote
That's not a FU, that's a family being awful to its own members. I'm sorry you've gone through so much with so little support. It sounds like your mom has some serious psychological problems, if your sister was abused that could have started the hypersexuality at a young age, too. I hope you can find your own chosen family, and do what you have to do to leave this dead-end chapter of your life.
SaraAmis t1_jecshus wrote
You didn't FU, she did.
Get as far away from these people as you can.
Diamondsfullofclubs t1_jed2i5r wrote
>But after my Mom discussed the situation with her boyfriend “G” and him telling her it was a bad idea...
This was all I needed to hear about your mom. You've never even met the guy. He should have no influence over major life decisions.
TheLurkingMenace t1_jed5kf2 wrote
When she's old and wants you to take care of her, tell her to keep to herself.
Veggdyret t1_jecwwpd wrote
Are there no social services you can talk to?
monadyne t1_jedej9x wrote
Wow. Just wow! It's amazing that none of the people in your family stepped up and took responsibility for what they did. And worst of all was your mother. It was her job to protect you. She should accept responsibility for having failed that task. Instead, she blows you off and laughs at you?
I know you would love to have some justice, OP. I know you would love to have some of these people say -- on the record -- "You're right, OP. And I was complicit in the shitty things that happened to you." But that's never going to happen.Even if they did, all you'd get out of it would be one moment in which you could shout out loud, "YES! I was RIGHT!!!" ...and then what?
None of these people are worthy of you. The sanest, most empowering thing you can do would be to let these people go. Let the past go. Stop replaying old scenarios over and over again in your head. Stop creating dialogues in your mind where one or more of them confess to their sins against you and apologize, or where you accuse them and they accept their blame. None of these thoughts does you any good! Yes, it was valuable to have dredged them all up so you could look at and accept your horrible childhood reality-- but they've served that function already. It is time to move on into a life unencumbered by the horrors of the past, and unencumbered by any of these awful people.
Never give them another thought! Let them go! Find new people!
I can't tell you how liberating it was for me to finally let go of my father. Ever time I saw him after, I didn't even have any anger left. Just ...nothing. So, I'd be polite. Why stir up any drama? I no longer needed anything from him! He died without ever knowing that he had ceased to exist for me years before. I was free of the guy. Free!!!
And that's what I wish for you, OP. That you be free!
[deleted] OP t1_jecfady wrote
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cockmanderkeen t1_jedbpla wrote
You need a real therapist.
dontlookback76 t1_jed97dc wrote
I don't get it. I just want my kids to be happy. I have one daughter who's mental illnesses clash bad with my mental illness. I have got abusive 3 times. So I've just came to the fact that I can't parent her. I'd rather she have cake and ice cream for breakfast than ever hurt her again.
Atillion t1_jedbwvo wrote
OP, I don't have anything useful to offer. I'm just really sorry you were dealt such a shitty hand. I hope you find what you need to be as whole as you can.
slickrasta t1_jeddgln wrote
Please see a counselor. While it's good the steps you've taken on your own having a third party professionally trained to help you is immeasurably invaluable in dealing with trauma and abuse.
Thick_Pomegranate_ t1_jedfuhc wrote
Man religion is one hell of a drug.
[deleted] OP t1_jecnxey wrote
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[deleted] OP t1_jecpsss wrote
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[deleted] OP t1_jecs0ca wrote
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[deleted] OP t1_jecwi91 wrote
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[deleted] OP t1_jeczbb4 wrote
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[deleted] OP t1_jed51p9 wrote
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[deleted] OP t1_jed577n wrote
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fabrejul t1_jed5b80 wrote
Was mentally abused my whole childhood by my alcoholic mother and listening to that audio really brought me back to it. I empathise dearly for you and the best thing you can do for yourself is to get far away from these people.
I feel your anger and grief through your words and as much as I did the same thing, it isn’t constructive. Ignorance is a major human flaw and seems like your mother has many flaws. But speaking to her the way you do is causing nobody harm besides yourself. You cannot reason with people like this as hard as it sounds. Sure they are your blood but family isn’t meant to be self centred. You’ll find your family hun and the best part is, you’ll know the second you meet them. It’s not blood that binds human beings it’s emotion- love, compassion,etc.
Get far away from that hell of an environment and look after yourself. You may have not had anybody there for you when you were young but you’ve got yourself, and it may not feel like much but at least you know who you are and you know who your mum is and I’m sure you’ve vowed to never be like those people. As much as this torture and abuse shouldn’t have happened, you’ll be a better person from it. You just need to get away from them
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JagoKestral t1_jeddshz wrote
What the fuck is happening here
[deleted] OP t1_jeddo32 wrote
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[deleted] OP t1_jedfecp wrote
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[deleted] OP t1_jedgoyv wrote
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Flair_Helper t1_jedhdi6 wrote
Hey /u/PurpleCauliflower459, thanks for contributing to /r/tifu. Unfortunately, your post was removed as it violates our rules:
Rule 3 - Sorry, but this isn't your fault. Submissions here must be your fault. No victim blaming. No TIFU by getting robbed/scammed/mugged/raped. Those are not your fault. Just because something bad happened to you doesn't mean it's your fault.
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[deleted] OP t1_jedvr65 wrote
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zorggalacticus t1_jece9er wrote
You REALLY need your own place, and to take time to focus on yourself and heal from your trauma. Find a good therapist that you feel comfortable with and open up. The fact that you're on here shows you're ready to talk about it. I realize that you may not be in a position right now to move out, but you should definitely work towards that goal and put some distance between you and your family. You don't owe them anything. I'll let you in on a secret: just because you're related by blood, doesn't mean you're obligated to care for them. It's entirely okay to cut those people out of your life if it's what you need to do to heal. Your number one focus right now needs to be YOU. YOU matter. YOU have value. YOU are important. Don't let anybody else tell you any different. Learn to love yourself, even if sometimes it feels like you're the only one that does. Trust me, that's not true. Get a cute haircut. Get your nails done. Buy a nice outfit. Be nice to yourself. You deserve it. You've done nothing wrong, you deserve love. So give it to yourself. There's people out there that love you too. Your just haven't met them yet. You survived. You made it out alive. Now enjoy that life like nobody's watching.