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lemonwitchie t1_je0jkcg wrote

Leave. Save the lady that you are with the pain of losing you and bits of herself later when you both figure out it is not going to work and that it never could no matter what each did. If you were committed, you wouldn't have looked at the other a second time. I don't mean to be harsh and I am not judging you.

As someone who was strung along for a decade with countless flings from the other party, I'd have preferred him to leave me in the beginning when there were doubts than the years I had spent thinking what can I do? How can I be better? I spent so much of my life with someone who never really did love me fully and neither of us are to blame. He wanted to, but he couldn't and eventually he found what he needed in another and that was our end. Save her and you from all that and leave.

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Altiverses t1_je0rjy6 wrote

Given the context we have, there's wisdom to this comment but nothing is guaranteed. Internet strangers can never get the full picture. And that also applies to my next point.

Adding onto OP though, that does not imply that getting it on with your friend's gf is the right choice even if you do choose to leave your current. She is more likely than not to just be a fling once the flames of desire die, but your friendships won't recover, probably with both herself and definitely her partner.

Also, you will be an absolute piece of shit.

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Dramatic_Fix_3577 OP t1_je9h9z8 wrote

Well getting closer with my friends gf is no viable option for me. I wouldn't be able to Look at myself in the mirror. The only Thing i know is that no matter what, i want to go on being friends with him.

I'm just f*ing confused.

No matter what i have to talk to my gf to speak about what we want and if we do have the same goals.

What i have to See for myself is:

  1. am i overreacting because 15 yo me would be happy af? Is this kind of attention something i am lacking?
  2. how should i behave towards Jessica after she breaks up with my friend w/o being unfair towards my friend and my gf
  3. what do i really want atm in life or is it something else im nervous about.

I am sorry, but guys - please don't interpret my writing too much. I am fighting against auto correction as i am not a native englisch speaker and i am writing the post and answers in the little free Time i have at work

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