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gregrainman314 t1_je2hx5x wrote

Reply to comment by anakusis in TIFU when I spoke to the surgical planner by sugarintheboots

Don’t leave us hanging man!

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anakusis t1_je2jt3m wrote

Well after the penis massage didn't work and the meds didn't either the on call urologist showed up reeking of margaritas and guacamole because of course this was Cinco de mayo. I was on a lot of that fent stuff that's popular with the kids these days so I didn't care. There wasn't enough drugs in the world to make them shooting up my dick veins with saline and some other medications and then sucking it back over and over again. They kept try because the next step was surgery and I think we all appreciated the idea of doctor fajita breath opening my dick.

It finally worked and my knob was an enormous knot of bruises. I would kill for that size. The nursing staff assured me that they see this thing all the time but I've been in the emergency room several times and not once has half the medical staff walked into my room to take a look.

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Loud-Bee6673 t1_je31lsz wrote

Yeah that is rough. I have had to do that procedure a couple of times and it is not my favorite.

Definitely worse for the patient though.

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IllegitimateTrick t1_je3w1gz wrote

As an ER nurse, can confirm. Sorry if you were embarrassed, but we simply don’t care. The weirdest shit happens on the daily. I empathize with your discomfort, just please don’t think any embarrassment is warranted. Glad doctor Cuervo didn’t get you under the knife!

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itsjustmefortoday t1_je4z4uw wrote

I think people don't realise that whatever job role you have, you get used to stuff. For me (in retail) it's people's cards getting declined and they get all embarrassed. But I can promise unless someone is super nice or a super arsehole, we're not giving them a second thought.

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slash_networkboy t1_je5lq8g wrote

My mother is an ICU nurse, did rotations in ER and NICU.

ER was essentially a more concentrated version of what she deals with in ICU, NICU broke her though.

Top stories from the ICU:

  • "This chicken is tough" (from a no solid food patient): chewing on condom catheter.
  • The detox guy. Went in to violent DTs to the point that the pharmacy tech was sent to buy a bottle of grey goose while the pharmacist did the math of how much to add to 1L saline bags to keep the patient from dying from DT. He was there for damage caused by drinking listerine after his wife had dumped his booze.
  • Assorted "you're kidding right?" family stories. Your relative has been mostly dead all day, no they aren't going to be able to go to wherever tomorrow/next week.
  • More than one anal fissure turned septic. "Guess the object" ensues.

Of course she also had heartwarming stories about people getting second chances on life and such.

​

The TL;DR: is I don't think there's much on this planet that can phase my mother medically... as long as it doesn't involve babies.

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