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tabshiftescape t1_jd1obhi wrote

Reply to comment by ThrowRA4Reuse in TIFU reading my girlfriends texts after a bout of insecurity by [deleted]

That might be the best thing for you for a bit, and then maybe some day it’ll be time to move forward into something else. Just please really do try to be kind to yourself.

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ThrowRA4Reuse t1_jd1oeiu wrote

I’m done. I’m doing all the cleaning I can right now to take my mind off of it. The longer I sit here the closer I get to just breaking down.

I want to clarify that when I say never again, I truly mean never again.

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tabshiftescape t1_jd1oh60 wrote

What would happen if you broke down?

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ThrowRA4Reuse t1_jd1otha wrote

That’s funny, I’m not sure. I don’t think anything drastic, all I know is right now I feel like crying uncontrollably, a deep immense pain and void that cannot be filled

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tabshiftescape t1_jd1oxfx wrote

Grab some tissue or a nice soft cloth and go for it man. Crying is part of the process.

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ThrowRA4Reuse t1_jd1oytu wrote

I don’t think I can afford to right now.

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tabshiftescape t1_jd1p1qb wrote

Is there something more important that you need to be doing? It’s very important that you take time to care for yourself.

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ThrowRA4Reuse t1_jd1p55h wrote

My finances are struggling, my emotions are high, I’m fighting back my demons right now and I feel like I’m finally losing after 8 years, something I promised my family and friends would never happen

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tabshiftescape t1_jd1pf5w wrote

I hear ya bud. Try to remember that you haven’t lost; you’re still here and chances are no matter how fucked things seem now, 99 times out of 100 they’re unfuck-able.

Also you won’t go bankrupt if you give yourself an hour to cry this evening. It might even help clear your mind so you can focus on the things you’re dealing with. I wish you the best of luck!

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ThrowRA4Reuse t1_jd1po9t wrote

Thank you for your kind words but I don’t think that’s the case here. I feel like I’m at the end of my ropes with nowhere to go and no will to go further

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tabshiftescape t1_jd1pv4c wrote

I’m feeling for you friend. This won’t do you in.

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ThrowRA4Reuse t1_jd1pwil wrote

I feel it already has. Just contemplating what to do about it

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tabshiftescape t1_jd1q4mp wrote

Well I suppose the thing to do would be to post on Reddit about it. Just to get other peoples perspective, remind yourself that you’re not alone, give goals a distraction. At least that’s what I’d be doing and what it seems like you’re doing now. It’s the healthy natural thing to do.

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ThrowRA4Reuse t1_jd1q6cu wrote

It’s probably self-preservation speaking at this point. I have no will of my own to continue

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tabshiftescape t1_jd1qg76 wrote

Gotcha. Well you have no active will right now. There sheer act of self preservation and of acknowledging it is in itself at least a passive will to go forward. So you have will and have no will.

I think both are true. Something in your mind is dragging you forward while the rest of you collapses. I think that’s okay and part of the process.

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[deleted] OP t1_jd1r3ok wrote

[removed]

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tabshiftescape t1_jd1rddh wrote

If you’re giving up and have nothing left to lose, then why not just take the rest of your day and have a cry and a nap? You’re emotionally exhausted, not defeated.

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ThrowRA4Reuse t1_jd1rhhq wrote

No, I’m defeated. My life has been one massive case of try and fail, push and pull, expectations and disappointment. I’ve never meant anything to anyone, and I’m beginning to no longer mean anything to me. I can’t do anything right. Nothing. Nada.

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