YOu dodged bullet mate - there is no fixing that kind of person. Despite what you think you have probably, in the longer term, made life easier for everyone. This has nothing to do with your being man enough to take abuse for the rest of your life - it has everything to do with the fact that a narcissist can't be fixed and will completely fuck everything around them in order to control their environment. They are pathologically insecure and very often extremely cruel.

She sounds so unstable you are, no doubt, physically safer but you need to remain emotionally safe from that type of person.

Hope your kids are going to be ok and you hang in there.