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jadonsvd t1_jdexnxb wrote

the only fuck up was hers she fucked around and found out

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DeadGatoBounce t1_jdfsuyx wrote

Violence isn’t an appropriate response to someone being annoying

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Akakage t1_jdgtn69 wrote

You're not wrong, but it's a realistic one. Winding someone up to the point they snap is on both people. You'd not get pissy at a dog for snapping because someone was pissing it off, people should be held accountable and be able to exercise better patience, but we all have breaking points and can only take so much. She was also in physical pain from it, that alone can make people lash out defensively. If you've never been so angry at someone trying to annoy you to the point of lashing out then you've lived a sheltered life and not been much of (if any) a victim of bullying behaviour. She couldn't easily remove herself from the situation without getting in trouble, teachers are notoriously shite at dealing with stuff like this, she asked the person to stop being a twat, they didn't they got twatted, that's on the person being a twat.

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DeadGatoBounce t1_jdi6kqy wrote

As both someone who was bullied in high school in almost this exact scenario, as well as someone who has dealt with anger issues in life, I certainly understand OP’s reaction. As a father I would understand, but I’d also want my child to strive to measure her response. Life is going to be fill with pain and annoyance and having violence be your go-to solution for that is going to a life of misery.

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NosticFreewind t1_jdh7f7t wrote

I'm with you. I'm not saying she should have gotten into trouble or what she did was right and proper, but annoying bitch FAFO. I hope she learned.

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snowmandala t1_jdgvtbu wrote

In almost all situations there is a better solution, like juat telling the teacher that she is annoying you by doing this. Or just standing up and sitting down elsewhere. If you are good with words its also easy to make herself feel stupid for doing this.

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DJfreecell t1_jdh7ie9 wrote

As an civil adult I agree but sadly this mentality IN MY OPINION, strictly my opinion is why scammers, liars, theives and just shitty people in general do shit and get away with it. If someone lesrns they risk physical harm on themselves for invading a person's space they are much less likely to do that act again. But once again just my opinion.

Turning the other cheek to a bully only lets someone else or your self get bullied again later. Even if they were only kicking a chair and being annoying they'll think twice before bothering someone like that again. They fucked around and found out.

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snowmandala t1_jdhf5dq wrote

Alright, but in this case it ia a bit over the top. Hitting someone in the face is much more dangerous then many realise. Better aim for other body parts. I feel like to learn that your actions were wrong you have to be punished accordingly, otherwise it is easy to see yourself as victim of the other persons crazyness.

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TripleATeam t1_jdgkt4k wrote

Insane that you're being downvoted. Escalation to violence is an appropriate response to some things, but being annoying is definitely not one of them. It might be some people's first instinct but those people need to repress that urge and learn to either use their words, ignore it, or remove themselves from that situation.

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6reen312 t1_jdgqkkj wrote

Because well all know how well using words and removing ourself from situations in school works.

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Squigglepig52 t1_jdhoitd wrote

Generally, most people, when I use my words, wish I'd just punched them in the face.

I mean, you're not wrong, but I think there's also the "what are the repercussions of me doing this" factor.

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Reyway t1_jdh1t0c wrote

We humans are so weird. Wonder what the annoying person was expecting to happen.

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Adal-bern t1_jdhlxlp wrote

The other person wasnt just being annoying though. They were still kicking the op in the back, just because there was a small plastic barrier between her foot and the ops back, op said it was still painful. I agree that violence vs annoyance is uncalled for, but op was being kicked, asked them to stop kicking her and got laughed at.

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ErikTheAngry t1_jdijjfs wrote

OP asked them to stop, they didn't. They took enjoyment in aggravating the OP. They earned that split lip.

Next time they decide to deliberately provoke someone, perhaps they'll consider this event first.

There's a wonderful little exchange in Mr. Inbetween, where he's in anger management and they're asking him why he beat up some asshole teenagers:

They were being assholes.

Well sure... but the world's full of assholes.

Yea, you know why? Because we let them.

-

Problems don't get fixed until we start to deal with them. This is how you deal with assholes.

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__Dystopian__ t1_jdfwnsj wrote

You have obviously never witnessed the efficiency violence has when it comes to putting an immediate end to someone being annoying.

And your comment should be:

Violence isn't always the appropriate response to someone being annoying. Speaking in absolutes is both ignorant and naive.

Edit: after some thought, I've realized this isn't the approach to life I'd like to teach my kid. That might be fucked up. I mean, protect yourself and others with a good ass kicking if need be. But...yeah. you're right. We should talk things through more. Well. I still believe violence has an appropriate place in some situations. I do agree that it shouldn't be a go to in most cases. Not when you can walk away, or at least publicly shame them for being a turd.

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FerrisTheRed t1_jdga0la wrote

There's a difference between "violence is not an appropriate response" and "violence is not an effective response." Violence absolutely can be effective. That does not make it appropriate.

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6reen312 t1_jdgqure wrote

Tell that the girl that offed herself cuz noone helped her in school when she got bullied for weeks and noone did a thing. Yes, violence fucking sucks but when it comes to schools these days you are either are prey because the only thing you do is use words or you are not because ppl know it will hurt when they fuck around with you. And ppl won't stop if you walk away or talk to them. I am not saying this is good but this is sadly how it is.

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DJfreecell t1_jdh87z5 wrote

100% this. I got bullied in middle school and my mom always preached turn the other cheek. Talk it out bla bla bla. This works for most adults 20+ but I got harassed alot till I decided to fight back in high school. You'd be surprised how many ass holes love to throw punches, kick and push people around but if they get hit once they learn they can't get away with it and stop entirely.

EDIT: this girls response to someone kicking her chair was a bit much imo. But the people talking about civility must have had some privileged upbringings. Or maybe schools have changed since the early 2000s and bullying isn't as extreme or something.

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FerrisTheRed t1_jdibi0c wrote

I was unclear, I apologise. I was merely clarifying the distinction between appropriate and effective. An inappropriate response is sometimes unfortunately necessary, when the appropriate response isn't going to happen.

The appropriate response here would have been for the school to discipline the seat kicker. Detention, writing lines, whatever - actions need to have consequences. As an adult, responding to bullying with violence can see you charged with assault, or at worst, manslaughter if the target falls over and cracks her skull on a tile floor.

However.

The appropriate response was unlikely, and in my experience, that's a problem common to many, if not most, schools. Bullying gets swept under the rug, but the emotional reaction is punished. In OP's defence, I wish I had memories of punching out my bullies, and I suspect this will be a positive memory 10 years from now. That response would not have been appropriate. But damn, it would have been satisfying.

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6reen312 t1_jdix53y wrote

Oh I see now, my bad then. Totally agree with you.

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aardvark_army t1_jdftgtw wrote

Really?

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DeadGatoBounce t1_jdfufo1 wrote

Yeah. If I punched someone at work in the face for being an ass and laughing at me, I’d get fired at best and charged with battery at worst.

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chartyourway t1_jdfxxm7 wrote

battery would be middle of the line. if you punched them and they lost balance and hit their head hard enough when they fell, they could die. your worst in that scenario (which most people never consider, I'm not calling you out) is prison for manslaughter.

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