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__Dystopian__ t1_jdfwnsj wrote

Reply to comment by DeadGatoBounce in TIFU by losing my temper at school by Madeline2535

You have obviously never witnessed the efficiency violence has when it comes to putting an immediate end to someone being annoying.

And your comment should be:

Violence isn't always the appropriate response to someone being annoying. Speaking in absolutes is both ignorant and naive.

Edit: after some thought, I've realized this isn't the approach to life I'd like to teach my kid. That might be fucked up. I mean, protect yourself and others with a good ass kicking if need be. But...yeah. you're right. We should talk things through more. Well. I still believe violence has an appropriate place in some situations. I do agree that it shouldn't be a go to in most cases. Not when you can walk away, or at least publicly shame them for being a turd.

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FerrisTheRed t1_jdga0la wrote

There's a difference between "violence is not an appropriate response" and "violence is not an effective response." Violence absolutely can be effective. That does not make it appropriate.

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6reen312 t1_jdgqure wrote

Tell that the girl that offed herself cuz noone helped her in school when she got bullied for weeks and noone did a thing. Yes, violence fucking sucks but when it comes to schools these days you are either are prey because the only thing you do is use words or you are not because ppl know it will hurt when they fuck around with you. And ppl won't stop if you walk away or talk to them. I am not saying this is good but this is sadly how it is.

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DJfreecell t1_jdh87z5 wrote

100% this. I got bullied in middle school and my mom always preached turn the other cheek. Talk it out bla bla bla. This works for most adults 20+ but I got harassed alot till I decided to fight back in high school. You'd be surprised how many ass holes love to throw punches, kick and push people around but if they get hit once they learn they can't get away with it and stop entirely.

EDIT: this girls response to someone kicking her chair was a bit much imo. But the people talking about civility must have had some privileged upbringings. Or maybe schools have changed since the early 2000s and bullying isn't as extreme or something.

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FerrisTheRed t1_jdibi0c wrote

I was unclear, I apologise. I was merely clarifying the distinction between appropriate and effective. An inappropriate response is sometimes unfortunately necessary, when the appropriate response isn't going to happen.

The appropriate response here would have been for the school to discipline the seat kicker. Detention, writing lines, whatever - actions need to have consequences. As an adult, responding to bullying with violence can see you charged with assault, or at worst, manslaughter if the target falls over and cracks her skull on a tile floor.

However.

The appropriate response was unlikely, and in my experience, that's a problem common to many, if not most, schools. Bullying gets swept under the rug, but the emotional reaction is punished. In OP's defence, I wish I had memories of punching out my bullies, and I suspect this will be a positive memory 10 years from now. That response would not have been appropriate. But damn, it would have been satisfying.

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6reen312 t1_jdix53y wrote

Oh I see now, my bad then. Totally agree with you.

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