Submitted by oldusty t3_11x5oqk in tifu

Obligatory that this happened last Saturday. Possible trigger warning for those who are injury queasy. Apologies for any formatting errors or a giant paragraph because mobile.


Okay, so I got married last Saturday. Ceremony went great, my bride was gorgeous, and the weather held. Awesome. Cue the reception.

First dance, father daughter dance, and mother daughter dance went well. Then came the hora. For those that don’t know, the hora is essentially dancing around in a circle and usually involves the newlyweds being lifted in chairs. My wife was dumped out of a chair at her brother’s wedding and was very against chairs. That’s fine, but I love to hora and was going HARD. As the dance floor was kind of tame and not circling to my satisfaction, I grab my groomsmen and take off around the reception hall. I was essentially sprinting around tables covering at least 4 feet a step while dragging my two best friends around who had no idea what was going on as it was their first Jewish wedding. Again, I seriously love the hora.

That was my downfall. I took one bad step, my knee dislocated, and I hit the ground. As I lay there looking at my kneecap off to the side under my dapper tuxedo, guests brought me ice, found my new wife, and got me a doctor. My wife tells me to bite down on the ice pack, and my knee was popped back in to place. This happened over the span of about two minutes. I was helped to a back room to get ice on my knee and anti inflammatories into my system.

About 15-30 minutes later, I limped back in to the reception with ice wrapped around my knee to the Chicago Bulls theme song. You know the one. It was fitting as my wedding party was all wearing fly kicks. The good news is everyone had a great time and apparently the food/music/vibe was solid.

The bad news is we were supposed to go on our honeymoon yesterday which needed to be cancelled for now due to my softball sized knee. We instead got to go to our orthopedist to get my knee drained. Four and a half syringes of fluids later, it hurts less, but I’m still out of commission for at least four weeks. My bad honey.


TL;DR I danced too hard at my wedding, dislocated my knee, and we had to cancel our honeymoon. Whooooops.

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Comments

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g8rgrl15 t1_jd2z6ro wrote

Wife here - he’s been very kneedy lately but I’m so proud of him for how he just smiled through the chaos and truly had a great time. He’s a rockstar and I’m honestly lucky so to be married to him! Everyone had a blast (including his knee).

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oldusty OP t1_jd37h5n wrote

Haaaaaaaaaaaaa! Keep the puns coming. Laughter is the best medicine. Also naproxen

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The_Lapsed_Pacifist t1_jd3kr34 wrote

Mazel tov, pity about the honeymoon. Hope you both have a great life together and take it from someone who’s had a dislocation, do what the doctor says or you’ll get a lifetime of trouble from that.

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oldusty OP t1_jd4ekdl wrote

Thank you and can do. I have lifetime hora ban to help avoid any more trouble

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BigJoeDeez t1_jd6fvf3 wrote

Make sure you suck his cock while he’s down. He will most assuredly appreciate it.

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lagomorph90 t1_jd1yhz5 wrote

i'm guessing there were several doctors and perhaps a personal injury lawyer present ;)

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ThadisJones t1_jd2hhma wrote

And a bunch of ladies who are hugely successful in their own careers but did you know she's married to a doctor according to their mothers

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oldusty OP t1_jd2yiob wrote

My orthopedist was in attendance as a family friend on my wife’s side. Best invitee ever 😅

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g8rgrl15 t1_jd2zqy1 wrote

It’s almost like you were there! 10 doctors, two PI attorneys, several other attorneys, a psychologist. Truly was a Jewish wedding.

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Nash_Michaels t1_jd20gzz wrote

Sounds like you got a nice married life ahead of you. Plus , a cool story to tell the kids.

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oldusty OP t1_jd2yobd wrote

“Kids, I know we always say you can be the best and can do anything, but you will never live up to your father’s hora prowess” or something like that. Great story indeed 🤣

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Malone_Matches t1_jd42i75 wrote

You should never be dancing all willy kneelly like that.

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horshack_test t1_jd1izvb wrote

Wedding night BJ at least?

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oldusty OP t1_jd1m6f9 wrote

The closest we’ve come to consummating is her videoing my knee getting drained. At least one of us got penetrated, right?

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