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Comments
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcvdsbs wrote
kitty is with us lol. i think it's survivable I'll go open the windows now.
edit: been a couple hours. kitty smells like nutmeg now.
particlemanwavegirl t1_jcvii6u wrote
Now this is an epic, dirty FU.
DrLoxi t1_jcvjcca wrote
This is classic sitcom material.
Great :D
forestapee t1_jcvjia6 wrote
Reminds me of the first time I used ghost pepper at home. Was cleaning the dishes with hot steamy water and gassed myself
DHJeffrey99 t1_jcvlkqc wrote
I think you invented an improvised non-lethal pepper bomb
HellsMalice t1_jcvm4pp wrote
The physics of this don't remotely check out but it's a cute sitcom sketch idea I suppose.
Edit: lol forgot I was on one of the more gullible subs, my bad. Tomorrow I'll post my TIFU about angering pixies
Ladymomos t1_jcvor2q wrote
My ex decided to make homemade chilli sauce in our very small 1 bedroom flat, whilst we had guests over. He fully gassed us all and we ended up running around the garden flailing and trying to breathe. Couldn’t go back inside for hours. It was their first time at our place 🤦♀️
AssumptionExpert7597 t1_jcvqos4 wrote
Yes!! A real TIFU story instead a sexual malfunction or walked in on my “enter person here” whacking the weiner story! Great story friend!
AssumptionExpert7597 t1_jcvqs4v wrote
How? It is definitely doable
Sk8erBoi95 t1_jcvqyps wrote
Hey, on the plus side, DIY gas chamber!
RosieQParker t1_jcvr5us wrote
At least you know the cayenne's still good.
[deleted] OP t1_jcvsh8i wrote
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PKfireice t1_jcvskvg wrote
Good thing it's an electric blower or you'd also have the canned air bitterent added to your spices. (Which is where I thought this was going)
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcvspvh wrote
would add some taste
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcvssy4 wrote
can confirm
iamthemeowbot t1_jcvtwn5 wrote
Oh man xD this is terrible but so relatable. Just use paper funnels in the future.
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcvviwy wrote
in the future we'll do one spice at a time and clean the funnel with soap and water. no more electric blower.
iamthemeowbot t1_jcvvrr8 wrote
No kidding xD I can see how that would make the process frustratingly long. It’s pretty simple to make a funnel using a scrap of paper or even coffee filters. Cheers
Cindexxx t1_jcvwboh wrote
I think you should read it again, I don't know what you find physically impossible lol.
MzzBlaze t1_jcvwobt wrote
But did they come over again?
xnmw t1_jcvwx21 wrote
Just knock the funnel against the side of the sink between spices. Any transfer will be negligible
CramWellington t1_jcvxha6 wrote
The spices were in bags. Why not just cut one of the corners?
Ladymomos t1_jcvxnx5 wrote
With great trepidation and a reminder that they didn’t really like spicy food 🤣 I knew her from Uni and the first time we hung out we got drunk and she came back to my place so we could try each other’s clothes on. So both our partners first met us dressed as each other. Second time was the chilli gas. I’m surprised he ever came back!
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcvxrmy wrote
they're resealable bags that are bigger than the containers. we put what we can in the lil jars but the rest remains in the bag so we can refill when needed
artaaa1239 t1_jcvxwl1 wrote
At least it is only cayenne Peppers and not Carolina reaper
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcvyt55 wrote
when gf asked me if i was worried about spice cross contamination i said "eeeeh not really" which she took as a yes very. i neglected her perfectionist tendencies.
WildCard90 t1_jcw0bxv wrote
Kitty smells like nutmeg meow*
The_Razielim t1_jcw1lmi wrote
I accidentally did something similar to my wife one time.
I was making gyoza filling and I like them with a bit of heat so I used a microplane to grate down a chili into the mix. My wife comes into the kitchen and immediately started coughing because apparently I aerosolized a serrano pepper and I didn't notice lol
thrwaway9932 t1_jcw2twp wrote
Stand-up comedy material. Save it!
Dragonic_Smile t1_jcw31t9 wrote
Chemical warfare at its finest
nenoman t1_jcw56it wrote
Did you both gain prescient powers and enhanced reflexes after consuming the Spice?
Hopeful_Cat_3227 t1_jcw6w8a wrote
this is so adorable.
Omisco420 t1_jcw7wos wrote
Make sure you move the cat!
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcw7wvm wrote
man i wish, she's a big fan of dune. sadly no all i got were sneezes and reddish eyes and she got the whole waterworks cuz she ate up most of it. our cat certainly got some bonkers level of zoomies trying to run away tho, had to do an exception and let her have a lil tiny bit of milk for once
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcw7zo7 wrote
kitty disagrees, she's very upset at us now.
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcw84uv wrote
the cat was moved safely and got a tiny lil bit of milk. (we don't usually give her milk, we did it only for the spice and she grew up near a milk farm, she's not lactose intolerant afaik, we still don't give her any usually but poor kitty was sneezing like crazy)
puffmaster5000 t1_jcw8kj7 wrote
Ex room mate would boil water, add cayenne pepper, then add his ramen.
DaddyCatALSO t1_jcw8lqi wrote
Want my Fried Chicken Ravana recipe?
VenusdellArcano t1_jcwa991 wrote
I just about lost it at the edit. Hubby and dog are looking at me strangely
inkyletters t1_jcwcj3m wrote
This is amazing, also no cat tax?! I stalked your profile and I'm in love with her she's so small!
aporetic_quark t1_jcweqpw wrote
Roll wax paper up into a cone for a disposable single-use filter
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcwfxvf wrote
what's a cat tax? and yeah she is very small, we don't know why she just doesn't seem to grow anymore, she has a sister that looks exactly like her but is much bigger than her now. she's perfectly healthy tho
inkyletters t1_jcwga61 wrote
Cat tax is just a silly reddit thing where if you mention a cat you include a photo of them as "tax" :)
We have a little cat who has stopped growing too but is otherwise healthy! Tiny cats are very precious ❤️
ruove t1_jcwh4j4 wrote
> so i have an electric blower i use for dusting instead of compressed air cans
Metro DataVac? I've had my ED500 for like a decade now, thing still runs like brand new. Bottom filter is getting a bit worn out though.
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcwhbd0 wrote
the thing is called "computer cleaner", it seems to be the brand name. bought it like 6 years ago from amazon, can't find it anymore. still runs like a charm
dawnbandit t1_jcwimyg wrote
You don't cook with spices, do you? I make curry and other heavily spiced stuff, and blowing air into a container of very fine (and very spicy) Cayenne pepper would definitely do what OP said happened.
Valsarta t1_jcwja5s wrote
Omg...I'm crying...nutmeg...
Valsarta t1_jcwjcbw wrote
Mine are doing the same.
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcwklel wrote
me too. i don't know these people, where are my girlfriend and cat?
tardawg1014 t1_jcwkqts wrote
Most relatable TIFU I’ve ever read. Minus the girlfriend moving in. Tried that once and it lasted for 3 months before I had to run— alcoholic manic depressives don’t make good partners
SciPhiPlants t1_jcwmvx7 wrote
Depends on where you live and how volatile the market is.
TallishBobcat t1_jcwoqul wrote
My cat's name is Nutmeg. So itd be appropriate for her. 🐈
boomheadshot7 t1_jcwpkxf wrote
The actual TIFU is your complete disregard of capitalization.
God that was a hard read.
allwillbewellbuthow t1_jcwq7sr wrote
Hopefully in the future you only need to refill one spice at a time! Thanks for sharing your hilarious story, I hope you all are fully recovered now.
Alas-Earwigs t1_jcwwk3z wrote
Haha, my cat is also a Nutmeg. We also have a Saffron. Together they are the Spice Girls.
ThereAre24Bees t1_jcwyhrh wrote
It sounds like they were crying too
WanchaiWhite t1_jcwyneu wrote
You should re-arrange hers in revenge, she might not know it yet but her thyme is cumin
nenoman t1_jcx0pfs wrote
Did the cat's eyes turn blue at least?
Smallwhitedog t1_jcx0rz8 wrote
I think this one really happened, too!
WanchaiWhite t1_jcx1emd wrote
But was she an alcoholic manic depressive before she met you?
manderley82 t1_jcx27nq wrote
One time I mindlessly threw some Serrano peppers onto super hot oil while my bf was chatting with me next to the stove. Instantly pepper sprayed us lol but unfortunately the windows in my living room didn’t open so I just turned up the fan and powered through lol
CompetitiveEvent8099 t1_jcx2htb wrote
As someone who works with very spicy spices at my job, I feel for you.
I’m talkin like Carolina Reaper level. The entire back of house staff starts coughing and sneezing every time we have to use it.
nicouise t1_jcx3dph wrote
How cute 🥹
ThetaDee t1_jcx4efv wrote
What do you think I'm a cat jumping from tree to tree all nimbly pimply like?
MooMookay t1_jcx52te wrote
Do you get the small spice bags? You could usually just get them in the container upside down and squeeze-shake the bag for self funnelling. Or you could also cut a corner of the bag like a piping bag.
AssumptionExpert7597 t1_jcx6b18 wrote
Gullible? This sounds like it happened. It isn’t outrageous or filled with wild “and then everyone claps” You say we are gullible and I say you are far too skeptical about fun stories
xantec15 t1_jcx6pvz wrote
Or buy a sleeve of paper cone cups and just cut the tip off; instant disposable funnel that maintains its shape. You can get a pack of 200 for a few bucks.
CheckIntelligent7828 t1_jcx7abw wrote
Ahhh, I miss the days when friends would come over to try on my clothes... Now I'm old, and while I have more/nicer clothes, I live too far from my closest friends for this to work.
Xephhpex t1_jcx7dwb wrote
As a plus, if you break up, you get to admire her handwriting on your spice jars :)
Ladymomos t1_jcx7hbn wrote
She was a corseted goth, and I wore layers of colours and patterns. After e few drinks the urge was too great! I know what you mean about being younger too, if anyone got something new we all had a try!
nocternum t1_jcx870i wrote
you can't mention a cat and not pay the cat tax man...
[deleted] OP t1_jcx8fwu wrote
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carcharodona t1_jcx8txv wrote
Am i drinking milk from a saucer?
ENDragoon t1_jcx9el9 wrote
I've only pepper sprayed myself once, I made a hot toastie with habanero, onion, and some cayenne pepper.
I ate it for lunch at work the next day, and it was lovely, but then I had some soda water to chase it down.
I burped in my mask, and then, because of my glasses, the spicy, humid, capsaicin laden air that came rushing out the top of the mask went straight into my eyes.
TheIncendiaryDevice t1_jcx9iks wrote
Nimbly bimbly from tree to tree good sir
TheIncendiaryDevice t1_jcx9jss wrote
But do you see them eating mice!?
Aiusthemaine17 t1_jcxb9ie wrote
LMAO I like how you can imagine and picture out the horror of what have happened. Funny stuff. But I hope y'all and the cat alright now.
secondtaunting t1_jcxbktu wrote
Is nutmeg on the cat? Because it can be deadly. Wouldn’t want kitty getting sick from grooming himself.
taks_hat t1_jcxbotn wrote
Missed the opportunity to say "Open Windows" instead of open the windows
gunnerxp t1_jcxchz8 wrote
Now you stop laughing right meow!
[deleted] OP t1_jcxdm2q wrote
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nokeyblue t1_jcxffej wrote
Incredible.
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcxgmqw wrote
there's plenty of pics on my profile
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcxgs3c wrote
she hadn't gotten to the actual nutmeg yet. i think it's just the leftover spice mix in the air that had a nutmeg smell, also my nutmeg isn't in powder form, i always crush some nutmeg nuts as i need. kitty is doing great
Tsjernobull t1_jcxhkjv wrote
Littering and.... Littering and....
generated_user-name t1_jcxhsw7 wrote
That used to be cute to me, now it’s almost a dealbreaker. I always try to explain how it’s not that I’m always indecisive it’s that I couldn’t care less when I respond like that. So when something (hasn’t been quite as wholesome lol) goes wrong, I have to console them for failing to be perfect. I have some empathy for that for sure… because I am constantly working on my need for perfection (or lack of). But I can’t fix you if I can’t fix me!
Strugglingasshole t1_jcxi52o wrote
These snozberries taste like snozberries
SirDooble t1_jcxjo7d wrote
Depends somewhat on the funnel.
I had this same dilemma a little while back when I made a spice rack for my dad. The funnel I had was a little silicone one (it was an effective size for a small spice bottle, whereas my larger plastic one was too big and I'd have probably knocked everything over using it).
The silicone one did the job, but I guess because of static electricity, it kept an awful lot of particles of herbs/spices stuck to it each and every time.
So that meant giving it a quick wash and a dry about 24 times whilst filling all the bottles. Definitely a lot more time consuming than I anticipated.
aiydee t1_jcxl1s3 wrote
At least it was only cayenne. Could have been much worse.
But that's a doozy of a story.
aporetic_quark t1_jcxso4q wrote
… you’re a genius.
[deleted] OP t1_jcxyefv wrote
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TheUselessOne87 t1_jcxyi40 wrote
one time when i was younger I'd have my weekly cooking class with my grandma, one of the ingredients that week was ginger. i wasn't strong enough to press it so i cut it instead. it didn't smell particularly spicy, and i was a kid with many allergies and it was the middle of summer. right as i scrubbed my eyeballs my grandma told me to be careful and not touch my eyes after touching ginger. now i know at least lol.
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcxym6x wrote
no but she did get a few extra eye boogers
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcxyodc wrote
was, most of it ended up coating my kitchen, will have to buy more lol
jilliecatt t1_jcy3fwo wrote
I have a Potato and a Spud. They're the Tubers.
Blueberry2736 t1_jcy72ni wrote
You have to call the kitty nutmeg now
iwokeupabillionare t1_jcybcxv wrote
If the bag is hand sized and the container can be filled with all the weight, you could pinch and put the top half of the bag, turn the bag on a 45 degree angle on the mouth container, turn the bag 90 degrees (+ 45 degrees) to start filling the container. If the container can handle the fuller weight, and another 90 degrees to let the rest of the spice out. The container sits down as it is being filled by one hand. Do this in the sink, so left over spices can be easily washed away - water, soap and scrub and water. No funnel need.
RagtimeSnek t1_jcyc2uw wrote
you need your house decontaminating now
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcyfir3 wrote
I'd say we communally own the spices, i say "my" cuz i do most of the cooking and i pay for groceries. we don't have separate spices lol.
I'm not gonna take my revenge, she wanted to help me and did a lil oopsie. pretty sure getting pepper sprayed is good enough of a reminder to not use an electric blower anywhere near spices. fuck ups happen, this one happened to be pretty bad only cuz it happened to be with cayenne pepper.
[deleted] OP t1_jcyfsaw wrote
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[deleted] OP t1_jcyfsyk wrote
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WanchaiWhite t1_jcyftl2 wrote
To be honest I just needed an excuse to use the play on words
fromwayuphigh t1_jcyny81 wrote
Boooooo. BOOOOOOO!
Aggleclack t1_jcyp9lx wrote
I thought this was about chemical screen cleaner but it was so much better. As an avid organizer, I’ve been there. Sometimes the solution is PERFECT but then human errors jumps in to fuck things up. Congrats on your spice rack, OP. Your old system sounds like anxiety simulator.
overdos3 t1_jcz0pcg wrote
Hey is the kitty alright??? /u/TheUselessOne87 I’m worried over here
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcz1a43 wrote
kitty is all good
oldwitch1982 t1_jcz48e3 wrote
I burnt cayenne doing a spell and almost died once and I have rubbed hot peppers in my eyes and accidentally got some on the downstairs kitty cat… you have to wash your hands with rubbing alcohol or else you have residue forever… That shit is terrible. Peppers are the devil.
AdeleBerncastel t1_jcz97f4 wrote
This is a super cute story
Drewstosay t1_jcz97ei wrote
sounds like questioning her method was the FU not letting her use it. She was doing fine till you had her explain it to you 😆
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcz9nz2 wrote
schrodinger's fuck up. my girlfriend did both fuck and not fuck up until observed her.
TheUselessOne87 t1_jcz9q76 wrote
we sure cried a lot
bstag t1_jczb9lk wrote
A few weeks back I took a brisket and put a very spicy rub on it with multiple pepper types of various ranges from meh to melt your face off. After putting brisket in the smoker I went to clean the pan I rubbed it in. I used a hi pressure sprayer to do this normally as I sprayed my eyes and the 3 guys I was talking to started to water and the coughing started as we figured out I just pepper sprayed the whole commercial kitchen. I turned on the stove fire hood as I left in the hopes we could go back in and finish dinner soon.
AdeleBerncastel t1_jczbeh8 wrote
I thought it was so cute that you all grabbed kitten and sheltered in the washroom together. I’m sorry it hurt.
TheDudette840 t1_jczccra wrote
Smoking the reefer
honeybadgerdad t1_jczgfat wrote
That's absolutely awesomely hilarious
beachmom77 t1_jd03mal wrote
It took me far too long to understand this comment. Mac convert since 2017. They got to me.
CompetitiveEvent8099 t1_jd07aes wrote
I work with spices at my job that are as hot as a Carolina Reaper. My coworker got it in his eyes and he was out for over an hour.
Good times.
WanchaiWhite t1_jd18g18 wrote
Ill grab my coat
QuartzSkull t1_jd1kjlg wrote
This thread turned into Super Troopers and I absolutely love it
beachmom77 t1_jcvdlr3 wrote
Go open the windows and don’t leave kitty out there 🥹