TIFU by not checking how much drinks cost at a hostess bar

Submitted by guutarajouzu t3_11iyfim in tifu

This happened 2 nights ago to be exact. I met up with a friend of mine after work to catch up and hang loose. Having finished a rather gruelling month at the office, I really needed some time to unwind. So, lo and behold, we get a meal and some drinks, then smoke cigars and eventually find our way over to a bar that my friend goes to from time to time.

At this point, I need to point out that I'm probably the undisputed alcohol lightweight world champion but I don't mind that at all because my family has a history of liver problems and I save money by nursing a beer for an hour. Hence, it's not surprising that I'm unfamiliar with the pricing scheme for hostess bars, which is where my friend has brought us to.

The ladies working there are all really sweet and do a good job at running the place to make you feel welcome but it is still a hostess bar and the women have to maximize their pay somehow. It's also a military town so there are no shortage of lonely, single soldiers who are far from home and willing to part ways with their money in exchange for some attention from the opposite sex.

We sat down at the bar and it's still rather early; plus my friend is somewhat of a regular there, so of course we're given a warm greeting and buy a round for ourselves. While my friend catches up with the staff, e.g. how you been? Where's so and so? Etc., one of the gals strikes up a conversation with me. In hindsight, I really stood out because I'm a Korean civilian, was dressed in office attire and spoke both English and Korean. An uncommon venn diagram among their regular clientele, so to speak.

We hit it off instantly. We either shared very similar worldviews and tastes, OR, she's a well-experienced people reader who had me dancing to her tune (I'm leaning towards the latter). But seeing as how the last time I connected with a member of the opposite sex like this was a year ago, I was trying to soak up every minute of it. She asked several questions that all hinted at wanting to meet up outside of work.

Throughout it all, she'd ask if she could do a shot with me. I declined one for me as I was carefully timing my one beer but I'd get her a drink each time she asked. I know the prices for hostess' drinks are unreasonably high but I was too drunk and cheerful to bother checking the price. Eventually, my genetically-defective liver couldn't handle any more so my friend walked me to his home so I could pass out, but not before the hostess and I exchanged contacts.

2 nights later, I was paying a bill and opened up my online banking app. Turns out those shots were approximately $25 each and I bought her 6 of them. I had a good laugh at myself, and was relieved that I wasn't mad or resentful at all, because I got what I paid for: a relaxing night out with a temporary companion. It's nice to feel wanted, even if it is just physical or fake. We've exchanged some messages but I'm trying not to give in to the fantasy that something might happen.

TL/DR: I was too drunk to bother checking the prices at a hostess bar and ended up spending the equivalent of my grocery budget on 6 drinks.

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TexasMeatCrayon t1_jb0kzrr wrote

You’re already doing better than most of us. I don’t know anyone, including myself, who ever got a server’s number and then heard back from them.

Keep it casual, be her friend. There’s no rush.

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blahbleh112233 t1_jb0l7rr wrote

Depends on the country, think of it like securing repeat customers if they're not creeps. Good on OP though, sounds like a good night

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guutarajouzu OP t1_jb4er56 wrote

I think it helped a LOT that I'm not military, spoke her language and more importantly, I'm a needy sucker with a fear of commitment 😂

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blahbleh112233 t1_jb5he7z wrote

Ah, wasn't my intention to sound cynical. Loneliness sucks and hostess bars are popular for a reason. Just don't overcomit to what may be a superficial relationship

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guutarajouzu OP t1_jb7v0fo wrote

Exactly this! It's a mutually beneficial arrangement: she gets money to pay her bills and I get to feel desirable for an hour or so

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advertisementeconomy t1_jb0wupu wrote

The US or maybe European model you're likely thinking of here probably doesn't apply. A hostess isn't a waitress or a bartender (at least not strictly) her purpose is to get customers to buy her drinks. So getting her number isn't surprising because that's how she'll maintain regular customers.

As a friend once explained it to me, her job is to turn you upside down and shake all the coins out of your pockets, only after a few drinks it can quickly become hundreds of dollars followed by some sober remorse.

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TexasMeatCrayon t1_jb0wz9i wrote

Not a model, the complete concept. I didn’t know this was a thing.

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BigHawkSports t1_jb0tbi8 wrote

Well...she's not just a server per se, this would be the equivalent of being excited that the onlyfans model DMed you back.

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TexasMeatCrayon t1_jb0uoh4 wrote

I’ve neither heard of, nor been to, a bar where women gave me attention. That girl must have an iron liver.

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PsyTama69 t1_jb49yig wrote

The concept is OP will suggest meeting up, but 'oh no, I have to work. Why don't you just stop by for a bit and we'll catch up'

It's almost certainly a burner specifically for the purpose

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guutarajouzu OP t1_jb4eu5r wrote

I'd be disappointed if her number wasn't a burner: she's not taking enough precautions

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guutarajouzu OP t1_jb4ekkl wrote

Yup yup, she was really swell gal who obviously knows how to spin a yarn and keep the conversation (and drinks) flowing

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Azrael_0802 t1_jb0ob44 wrote

I am unfamiliar, what exactly is a hostess bar?

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foco_del_fuego t1_jb0ppf2 wrote

I had to Google it.

"A hostess club is a type of night club found primarily in Japan. They employ primarily female staff and cater to men seeking drinks and attentive conversation."

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Thisisthatguy99 t1_jb24583 wrote

When I was stationed in South Korea, we called them Juice bars.

Basically, a female hostess/waitress will sit down and have a conversation with you as long as she has a drink in front of her (in Korea the women were only allowed to have non-alcoholic drinks). The women’s drinks are way over priced, and depending on how much she likes talking to you is shown by how fast she will drink the drink. But once you stop buying drinks for her, and her last drink is empty, she moves on to the next guy.

Because of the job, these women are talented at making the men they talk to feel wanted and like they are available to meet up outside of the bar… usually they aren’t. But they make money based how how many drinks the guy buys so they learn the skills to keep a lonely guy there, or get him coming back again and again.

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guutarajouzu OP t1_jb4e88t wrote

Yessir, this was in Korea. A LOT of the actual prostitution-linked Juicy bars have disappeared, leaving the most determined ones to operate slightly nore covertly. A lot of people still call the hostesses 'Juicies'.

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Thisisthatguy99 t1_jb8nbvg wrote

Glad to hear the human trafficking ones are mostly shut down, and hopefully any that are left will be shut down too.

Back in 2005, there were a lot of them in Pyeongtaek, and though the military warned us about them, they weren’t doing anything to shut them down. Only way the girls could get out where to find someone willing to buy their passport back from the bar owner. Actually had a coworker do that with a Russian juicie.

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guutarajouzu OP t1_jb9vlwb wrote

Agreed. If it's genuine change, it's going to be a slow process. A LOT of the trafficking and exploitation is gone but it still exists and is sufficiently hidden and/or ignored. Both Pyeongtaek and Osan have REALLY cleaned up though, which is heartening. Now it's a lot of actual Korean gals working the hostess life

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JefferyTheQuaxly t1_jb503nl wrote

a bar with attractive young waitresses/hosts that will sit down with drunk professional men and make them feel special while tricking them into paying to drink with them with shots/drinks usually 50%-100% over menu prices,

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collimat t1_jb0qyvf wrote

I suppose I've racked up bar tabs much higher than that and had a considerably worse time. Sounds like a pretty alright evening.

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guutarajouzu OP t1_jb4edv7 wrote

Yeah, it was a good night out to be honest. Everything has a price, and I'm willing to pay that every now and again for consequence-free plastic flirting

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AcrobaticSource3 t1_jb17i3k wrote

Genuine question: is a hostess bar kind of like a strip club without the stripping? That’s how it sounds like. No judgement, just trying to understand because that’s what I get from the description

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stachemz t1_jb1i42u wrote

Yeah basically. Imagine a bar staffed with escorts (like - actual escorts, not the kind you sleep with after). Their job is to be pretty to look at and to make sure you enjoy yourself. In the process, they help the bar sell more drinks and make more money. I'm not 100% on how their pay goes - I'm American, my only experience is through media.

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Loko8765 t1_jb1ms0o wrote

No personal experience here, but I would expect she pockets something like half the price of each $25 shot as her pay. The other half is pure profit for the house, less the cent or so of water (it probably costs more to wash the glass than to fill it up).

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guutarajouzu OP t1_jb4f6mq wrote

Yup, exactly this. I think she'd get half of ieach drink and the drinks are certainly watered-down or just water and syrup

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guutarajouzu OP t1_jb4f3ff wrote

Kinda. The hostess bars I'm referring to are known locally as 'Juice Bars' or 'Juicy Bars' and cater to bored, lonely privates and airmen.

Historically they're linked to prostitution and there are still many that are fronts for it. There's been a lot of push from the powers-that-be to get rid of them and a lot of them are genuinely just bars where guys go to buy overpriced, watered-down drinks for the women so that they'll talk to them.

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Johndough99999 t1_jb1gao0 wrote

On top of that the shots were probably just water, tea or something similar. Its an agreement with the bar to split the money.

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DJpesto t1_jb3zs6u wrote

Just a warning about hostess clubs in the future - now you went with a friend that knew the place, but a lot of the hostess clubs are run by the yakuza, and though the majority are completely fine (like the one you went to), walking into a random one, you may be scammed. (i.e. by drinks which are much much more expensive than the ones you bought, think 10-20X the price, so that when you leave suddenly you owe them like 2000 dollars, and they will happily drive you to the nearest ATM to get it).

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guutarajouzu OP t1_jb4hdxw wrote

I heard about this tactic being used in Japan. One reason why I'd definitely avoid places like Kabukicho: you never know what you're getting into if you don't speak the language

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MightyKrakyn t1_jb1dtjt wrote

Have you ever heard the phrase “you probably think the stripper likes you”? It’s her job to hit it off with you. You’re doing the more pathetic version where you didn’t even see the good bits 👍

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guutarajouzu OP t1_jb4gn48 wrote

Yup, it seldom gets more pathetic than me. There was a reason why I went in there voluntarily. I should've been more cautious with my money but a good time was had. That and strip clubs don't exist here. You either pay someone to pretend to like you and flirt with you or pay someone to sleep with you.

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aussie_nub t1_jb32gls wrote

To go one step further, a stripper is the pathetic version of an escort. She's a sure thing and probably costs you a lot less.

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postalkamil t1_jb1lsll wrote

Personal FU from my youth (in Europe.) I've vised small rural pub in foreign land, next year I visited that place again and it was different. Only after few (expensive beers) and some vague proposition of sex upstairs. I realized that I was in bordello(they where a lot of clues).

Difference is that I always ask for the price before I order something.

I don't have many experience like you since I went to go-go only once to monitor my bachelor friend, I was enjoying my time watching as he sleeps. Didn't took my optical glasses so I wasn't able to "enjoy the show" and I had to decline direct proposition of the hand job (private show).

General rule in Europe: don't visit such places, if you do don't do it randomly(check its background), if you go there take cash only, if you are there watch your drinks.

EDIT forgot to tell you that you are lucky, I heard about similar places where you can lost your whole debit from credit card or/and be drugged .

As you said, you had a new experience that your not ashamed of for a rather small price.

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guutarajouzu OP t1_jb4h5rt wrote

That's quite the rich life experience, in my opinion. You have to experience some of the uglier faces of humanity to appreciate the human condition

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PotatoOver9759 t1_jb1tv7l wrote

You sound like a good dude tbh idk why but yeah. Thanks for sharing

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guutarajouzu OP t1_jb4gx4b wrote

Aw shucks, you're too kind. I'm just another useless guy trying to avoid responsibility and emotions using work as an excuse

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nesp12 t1_jb2epbq wrote

You got off cheap. I never got caught in that but when I was in the military overseas I knew of guys who'd come back having paid 1 or 2 thousand. They had to pay or get their butts kicked by bar thugs.

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guutarajouzu OP t1_jb4gzy7 wrote

Yeah, they make you pay up front for each drink, avoid any unpleasantries from occurring 😁

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JefferyTheQuaxly t1_jb4zw9f wrote

This is literally the point of hostess bars, you fucked up if you didnt think that would happen? what did you think would happen?

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guutarajouzu OP t1_jb5084x wrote

To answer this question, I suggest you read some of my replies

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