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PreferredSelection t1_jdiosnt wrote

7/11's are full of strange people, not your fault.

I would say, Stud likely fits here, but is probably not the best way to describe this person unless she has self-identified as such to you. They're a pretty divisive group, and a lot of butch women with similar aesthetics might not want to be called that.

(It'd be kind of like calling somebody 'trad wife' when they're just cottagecore. Small difference in aesthetic, big difference in values.)

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VG88 t1_jdjrrxm wrote

But ... is "butch" an acceptable term? "Stud" sounds less like a negative stereotype to me but I may be wrong.

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Theletterkay t1_jdldkja wrote

Ive never had anyone be offended by the words stud or butch. If they have a different term they prefer they are always fine with educating politely and i am more than accommodating. Im not sure that there is any "safe" and all encompasing term for the less girly girl looking lesbians. If there is, would love to know. So just being polite and changing your beat kf corrected is acceptable.

I loved this one couple i knew in washington state. The more preppy one was the "girl" (according to them), the other was more masculine and prefered to be called the "woman" in their relationship. Lol. They were a super cute couple. I liked the idea that being the more masculine, stronger seeming, breadwinner was still getting a feminine descriptor. I hate how male washed relationships have to be for people to feel less uncomfortable with them.

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VG88 t1_jdlivo0 wrote

Fair enough, make sense to me.

Also, greetings from Seattle here, as it turns out! :)

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Palovid t1_jdlmzd4 wrote

from what I've gathered "stud" tends to be a descriptor for the sexual preferences or role in the relationship, whereas "butch" describes the aesthetic and the gender. i can see why the former could be potentially offensive because it brings to light something private. but i could be talking out my ass, lesbians feel welcome to school me on this

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Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdir535 wrote

Thanks for the lesson. Definitely prefer to address people correctly.

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