I also feel worse for him than I do for myself. I can't get into therapy sooner, there's a waiting list. I don't consider the letter I wrote love bombing, I would post it here but it's in my native language so I don't think it would be useful. I've had others read it for me in advance (like my parents and friends) and I asked if it came across as begging or being manipulative and they said no. If he says he doesn't want to try again then I respect that and I will leave him alone. I just didn't want to live with the regret of not letting him know that I want to try again.