Submitted by RestroomRanger t3_11ww6qj in tifu

So I had a first interview today for a new job….zoom interview on camera. I wake up this morning and my internet is completely down at my house and my hotspot service at my house doesn’t cut it for video chats. So I decide I’m going to get ready and go to the Starbucks by my house to take this call. It’s worth noting, on the way to Starbucks I start feeling a little nauseous, no big deal, but notable.

So here I am at Starbucks, I get all set up and logged in and zoom tested and I’m waiting for the CFO to join the call and honestly forgot I was even a little nauseous. About 15 minutes into the interview I get cold sweats and my stomach is tumbling….🤨

Now all I can think of is, “Hold it together for 45 minutes!” Then I’m like, “That’s a long time!” I start freaking out.

For the next fifteen minutes the nausea continues to slowly build and rise from the pit of my stomach toward my throat, the sweats are intensifying, the interview seems to be going ok, but all I can think about is this feeling in my stomach. I am more than qualified for the position and could probably talk about it under just about any circumstances.

It’s worth noting now, that I absolutely do not throw up…like it’s got to have been 15 to 20 years since the last time I threw up for any reason. Not a brag, just a fact.

About this time I can feel a feeling that, although not familiar, is definitely recognizable….I need to yak!

I’m like, ok…this is happening. I quickly stopped the CFO mid sentence and mumbled Would you please excuse me for a minute?!” Turned my camera off and RAN to the bathroom…

Never in my life has something this disgusting happened to me, it was like the exorcist! All four walls of that bathroom and the floor were coated in the massive projectile vomit sesh that ensued. I tried so hard to make it to the toilet, but alas. Oh, and the pressure of me gagging and yakking made me shit my pants before I could get them down around my ankles.

So now I’m standing in this Starbucks bathroom, covered in vomit and shit, surrounded by vomit and s, CFO still sitting on that Zoom call outside, and OH Shit….I realize my phone is sitting out there too. I start to melt down. What am I going to do?

Luckily (if we can even use that word right now), I remembered had my Apple Watch on me. I was able to call my wife, who was also in the Starbucks working from another table, to come help me. Now she’s in the restroom gagging and heaving and I tell her just to get out. She leaves to try to sort it out with Starbucks.

Turns out the Starbucks employees are all really nice and accommodating and tell us just to go and they will take care of it. My wife had to go to my interview call and let the CFO know (minus the details) that I had gotten sick and I was mortified and so sorry but I’d have to reschedule.

So for the walk of shame: I walked out covered in vomit and shit and what had to be an epic bad smell and didn’t look back. I sat on a plastic trash bag as I rode home the most embarrassed I’ve probably ever been in my life.

I doubt I get that job, but if I do, what an origin story!

TL;DR: I didn’t want to cancel my interview and waited too long to just explain I had something come up, and instead waited until it was too late and ended up sick in a public restroom.

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Comments

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dmcgettrick t1_jd0mckc wrote

OMG...I almost shit myself from laughing. I am so sorry about your misadventures but that is one hell of an interview story!!

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kotoamatsukami1 t1_jd0qzuy wrote

i would email or call them and apologize for what happened. shit happens, we’re all human.

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Comfortable-Worry-84 t1_jd12sh7 wrote

I was at an in-person interview after a few rounds of Zooms. I met with the person I’d be replacing, the Principal I’d be working for & the CEO. Came away feeling great about all 3- until my follow up convo with the recruiter. She said I’d received excellent feedback, but the CEO was not comfortable about my emotional volatility after I’d broken down in tears when he asked me to describe my most successful employee/ supervisor relationship. I was utterly confused, as no such thing had happened. It took me two days of obsessing over it before I figured it out- while speaking to the guy (I guess about my wonderful former employer), I’d gotten a frog in my throat. I coughed a couple times, took a sip of water & said excuse me, then continued on. Perhaps my eyes had watered when I coughed?? Job gone.

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RestroomRanger OP t1_jd1h5kr wrote

Funny update, my wife ran into one of the Starbucks employees that was there when it happened at the grocery store later this afternoon. She told him I was mortified and was so sorry (again). He reiterated that “shit happens” and all he had to do was lock the door, put a sign up and call a third party cleaning service. He said I’m welcome back anytime and not to be embarrassed….easy for him to say.

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sugabeetus t1_jd1zq67 wrote

This is a big fear of mine. I take medication that sometimes just randomly makes me vomit, not always with a lot of warning. I also pee uncontrollably when I vomit.

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JennySparklezz t1_jd1zzpl wrote

Maybe bring the Starbucks staff all tacos or something. They legit had to clean up a bio hazard

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RestroomRanger OP t1_jd3dnu0 wrote

Best guess is I ate something bad or had a stomach bug. I’m all better now. I instantly felt better after the “expulsion”, but then felt pretty cruddy again for the rest of the day. Took some edibles and went to sleep. Woke up feeling pretty decent.

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imperfectharmonies t1_jd4r2ax wrote

If they’re that crazy when interviewing people, they’re probably not the kind of people you’d want to work with. You’d get fired the second you do one little thing wrong lol

Or they could have just liked someone better and decided they wanted a reason to not hire you (although they don’t really owe their applicants an explanation)

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