So a little background on my situation, me and my ex were dating for a year and I had plans to propose to her, however, a week before she decided to break up with me. She threw out all these reasons for it Like that I needed to change and that life was just too stressful etc. So I did what anyone would do and I m(18) went to my bestfriend (f18) to talk it out and try to figure out what should do. Now, me and this friend have been in and out of relationships for two years and have admitted to each other a few times that we had feelings for the other at separate times through those years. Now that we are both single we decided to start spending time together and maybe see where things go. My ex had other plans. She had been talking about this just being a break but that we were broken up a few times and that she wanted to get back together, but after how she had been treating me and how my eyes were opened to the emotional abuse for the last few months I had no plans of going back. Until a few days ago. My ex sent me a huge paragraph about how she loves me and misses me and wants us to be together and wants us to live our lives happily together and it touched my heart. This was the first time she had said anything sweet Like that to me and, although skeptical, I felt like we needed to sit down and talk it out. Fast forward to today. Me and my best friend had plans to hang out and when she came over everything seemed normal, however towards the end of the night I ended up burried in her arms being held and consoled aboht everything and ended up kissing her. I’m supposed to go talk to my ex and sort everything out tomorrow and after tonight Idk how I’m supposed to do that or what I’m supposed to do or say to either of them.

TL;DR y dumbass let things go too far one way and probably fucked everything up the other way.

Edit: it’s a few days since then and a lot has happened. The next day I slept with the friend I kissed and immediately ruined that by going to talk to my ex the next day and not telling her and planning to get back with her. I’m not sure if what I’m doing is right but I’m probably a major asshole.

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SinoSoul t1_jdlem76 wrote on March 25, 2023 at 6:46 AM

#2,349,490

Tl;dr please do not propose and try to marry anyone at age 18. (I didn’t read the rest of the tifu.)

TinsellyAxis69 OP t1_jdlenw6 wrote on March 25, 2023 at 6:47 AM

#2,349,492

Replying to SinoSoul (#2,349,490)

You are correct. Hit the nail right on the head.

vexxxler t1_jdley8c wrote on March 25, 2023 at 6:51 AM

#2,349,523

First of all, don't propose at 18. You can, you are allowed to, it's romantic and passionate, but you shouldn't. Pace yourself, experiment life, I don't want to sound like an old fart, but things are not how you see them at 18. Please take it slow, for your own good, longterm.

Secondly, think about what you really want. Your ex might never change. She wants you now, next week she might dump your ass again. Don't ruin relationships with people that really care about you for people that offer you drama, excitement, and strong (but toxic) feelings.

Do what you feel is the right thing to do, do what you think it's best, but take into consideration that, at 18, you might get it wrong, and it's normal and it's OK.

Good luck!

Glad_Associate_8851 t1_jdlljzi wrote on March 25, 2023 at 8:28 AM

#2,350,023

I started dating my now husband when I was 18 (now 26) we got engaged after 5 years and married after 6. Had we gotten married years 1-3 I am almost certain I would currently be a divorcee in my 20s. If you can help it please wait to propose. She may be the one but marriage isn't casual, it's a massive commitment and you need to be certain that it's the right move. If you do propose, stay engaged for a long while. I know my stranger on the internet advice means nothing really but take it as youd like.

StaleTaste t1_jdmct4n wrote on March 25, 2023 at 1:50 PM

#2,352,576

Oh to be young again....

Your ex might be saying these things now, but if she had a problem before she'll have a problem again. If you choose her you're going to be on again off again until one of you decides to put your foot down and see other people. It's up to you but I think I'd give it a shot with the friend

TinsellyAxis69 OP t1_jdmplo8 wrote on March 25, 2023 at 3:27 PM

#2,354,098

Replying to StaleTaste (#2,352,576)

I think that’s what I’m going to do

dan_144 t1_jdn64b5 wrote on March 25, 2023 at 5:24 PM

#2,355,963

Replying to TinsellyAxis69 (#2,349,492)

Also, don't get back together with an ex. The next time you break up it's going to hurt the exact same way with the additional pain of knowing you should've seen this coming and feeling foolish for trying.