Something from 2021 that reached a head today. I joined a fangame project, since I was in school for game development, I liked the franchise, and I liked the idea of working on a game. More practical experience can only be good, right?

I wanted to handle the game's story. I ask. I'm given permission. Someone else had been suggesting things. I felt bad about hijacking the plot when they've been shooting out ideas, so I suggested we work together. That's the fuck up. Everything else that follows is because I didn't want to monopolize the plot and exclude them.

We come to an agreement that I handle the plot, and they handle the setting. Sounds simple, yes? Somehow, even though the one in charge of the game's story was me, their job somehow included deciding the order in which the player travels the setting, which would obviously affect the plot. I point out that their job of working on the setting obviously doesn't include that job, and they aren't having it.

We have differing ideas on how the plot should work. I try to find some sort of middle ground. "I'm in charge, but I see you want this, so how about this idea that tries to incorporate some of what you want?" Not having it. So I eventually have to just say "this is going nowhere. You aren't listening. We're doing this." A few of those decisions included things they wanted, instead of me just completely throwing everything out.

A lot of heated discussion. Them trying to dictate the plot even though that's not their job, and me trying to compromise and find a middle ground to no avail. Eventually we come to some sort of middle ground. I have final say on the plot. They can make suggestions, and I'm free to shoot them down. They have final say on the setting. I can make suggestions, and they're free to shoot them down. I believe I even conceded them deciding when the player goes where so they'd finally stop complaining about it. That agreement will be relevant later.

I've seen next to none of their work on the setting thus far. The only ideas I've shot down are the ones where they're overreaching their bounds. It's impossible for me to have broken the agreement when I'm just exercising that final say on the plot and not overriding them having final say on the setting.

They then proceed to disappear. Last summer, we try to touch base and see if they can get some work done. They never respond when I try to follow up. They say they're busy until December. I get in touch during December and they never respond. I get fed up and decide "screw it, I'm doing my own work on the setting".

I explicitly tell them this. I explicitly say "I'm not taking over. I'm doing my own, and then we can combine them". The first thing I did was go to notes on Google Drive — because they refuse to work in anything I can see out of fear of me "shooting them down" — and take the things they had written so I could ensure whatever I do still includes their preexisting work.

They finally come back from the void a week ago, and when I ask if we can finally discuss their work, they brush me off again. They say they don't want to talk in the server because, once again, someone daring to say "yeah, let's not go with this" is apparently too much for them. I respect that wish, but want to include some other people who should probably know about the setting. I tell them before hand, so I'm not blindsiding them.
I message them today since they're apparently on break from school, they brush me off again. Both by saying "tomorrow" when they should be free today and by saying "I'm busy tomorrow, so I'm just going to drop what I've done then". I then say we'll talk today, so that's fine. They say they're busy today. I say drop it today. They say it's not done yet. I try to see what they did do, and they again just say "I'm getting my way. I'm not going to send what I currently have. I'm sending it tomorrow, as if I haven't been keeping you waiting for over half a year".

They then ranted about me being a "tyrant", basically said they had already stopped caring about the project, and then insulted me by basically calling me a no life who didn't have their priorities in order. They also tried to say they disliked decisions I was making on the plot, when I have final say in it and I rejected suggestions they were making that would screw with the characters, and rejecting said idea is the only way not to bastardize them. Again, that's per the agreement we came to.

A tyrant wouldn't try to compromise with people. A tyrant wouldn't wait over six months of no contact to wait for you to actually be available to work because I'd feel bad about axing you if you actually did care and were just super busy. A tyrant wouldn't let you insult them. A tyrant wouldn't stop themselves from blowing up at you for disappearing for more than seven months so as to avoid escalating things further. A tyrant wouldn't go to the person who is actually in charge and just suggest they speak to you to let you decide if you still want to be on board. A tyrant would've just kicked you, blocked you, and remove the parasite from the project.

I clearly care about this project and am upset about someone being MIA for months. I more or less run the project by managing the other members, trying to recruit more, making sure people have their questions answered, and making sure work gets done. I am constantly open about my ideas so that other people can see them and comment if they have any problems.

How is any of that the actions of a tyrant? A tyrant would've gotten rid of them ages ago. How is a tyrant the person who wants to compromise and not the person who has a tantrum whenever I don't want to just roll over and give you what you want?

Mind you, all of this because I felt bad about kicking them out of working on the plot since it hadn't been assigned to anyone and I asked for it. Hence, how I fucked up by trying to be nice.

TL;DR - In charge of writing for a fan project. Tried to work with someone who had made some suggestions for I was given that job because I'd have felt bad otherwise. For nearly two years they've made my life hell by being the most unpleasant teammate I've ever had, but try to paint me as the bad guy.