First, this happened back when I was in grade 10 when I was 15.

I was for the most part a goody-two-shoes type of kid, especially up to this point. I had never drank alcohol, let alone got drunk, didn’t party, etc. My parents also believed that caffeine would stunt my growth, so I wasn’t allowed caffeine until I was 13 (I was 6’4” by then, I’m 6’6” now). When I was 15 though, a friend introduced me to coffee and I was HOOKED, because I would be off the walls with energy.

Every morning after that, before school, I would make myself a cup of coffee in the morning. I had a 20oz mug, and not liking the taste of coffee, I would use the 10oz keurig setting, and fill the rest up with milk, and add sugar. My method for drinking these concoctions I called coffee was chugging them, usually 5 minutes after I made it so it wasn’t too hot.

The one day, cold winter morning, right after Christmas break, I made my coffee only to discover that we had ran out of milk. However, I saw a big glass bottle of a hazelnut cream that I’d seen my parents put in their coffee. I thought “perfect” and did my usual routine. However, this coffee was especially good, and I loved the taste, not just the caffeine buzz. So what did I do? I made 3 more. I drank - chugged - 4 of these things, and then get on the bus.

I get to my first class - AP English - and I’m feeling very good. However, when I was called on to summarize a reading it went something like: “well buddy was mauled by a bear, and his chick wanted to break up with him. But the chick thought it’d be a dick move to dip on buddy right there so she was just in a clusterfuck”. Luckily in Canada, or at least my city, teachers didn’t care I swore and she just looked at me funny.

After that class my best school friend comes up to me and is like “what the fuck is wrong with you?”, apparently I was also stumbling and slurring my words. I replied “I feel fuckin great, my parents got some fancy coffee creamer so I had 4 coffees this morning”. My friend was more experienced in these things than I, and asks what the creamer was. I replied “it was hazelnut. I think it said Bailey’s on it”.

For those who don’t know, Bailey’s is a 34 proof** alcohol liqueur for coffee. I did not know this. So turns out I had downed about 12 shots of booze in 30 minutes before school, and was fucking plastered. The entire flex block (right after first period) was her feeding me water and bagels so I didn’t get sick. It was the most fun day of school I’ve ever had though.

I would guess the teachers knew I was plastered, but I was a good student and they liked me so they maybe turned a blind eye for the day (underage drinking is also not punished legally where I live unless it’s a dangerous situation).

TL;DR I didn’t know Bailey’s was alcohol and drank 4 mugs of it before school. Oh, and it was my first time getting drunk.