TIFU by making jokes about my gf

Submitted by throwra-chasecaser t3_123qrny in tifu

My (25M) gf (23F) wants to end things over a joke.

So my girlfriend asked me to roll a joint for us. And I said “Well can I get a handjob after so it’s a trade?” She said no. Walked out of my house. And haven’t heard from her since Friday. It was just a joke and I worded things wrong.

Then she breaks up with me because I told my friends about details of our sex life. How she likes to get tied up. Slapped. Candle wax. Ect.. She found all of it on my phone. The jokes my friend said about the candle wax and “Buffalo Bill” I’d tell my friends when she’d blow me and things like that. We all do that though. I sent in a group chat a screenshot of her praising me for the sex we had.

We had a pregnancy scare, and I was just such a mess and thought it would be ok to talk to a friend. I have a girl friend who is a nurse and who has a baby so I thought she’d give great advice. So I explained how she has fertility issues she asked why. I said she has endometriosis. And got forced into an abortion when she was younger. I didn’t mean to say that part. It just slipped out. And my girlfriend was so hurt and I feel horribly but I didn’t mean to hurt her.

She was then upset that I said to my friend In the start of our relationship that “I don’t know if I feel much for her. My ex broke me and made me numb. If things don’t work I’ll go for her best friend she’s cute “ Meaning my ex’s best friend. (Not my girlfriend ) She said that I’m making it seem like she’s on a list but it’s just a joke.

TLDR: Girlfriend wants to end things because of a few jokes.

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MollyGodiva t1_jdvtg7b wrote

You did not FU. You did her a favor by showing her your true self.

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OberonPrimeGX t1_jdvxfhr wrote

You aired out another person's sexual fetishes and kinks and allowed them to be mocked? And didn't defend her? Wow, dude. Just wow. Do better in the future please.

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wiedmaier t1_jdvztar wrote

You don’t understand the concept of a joke, and are using that to defend really shitty behavior.

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_natachat_ t1_jdw6nvx wrote

> And I said “Well can I get a handjob after so it’s a trade?” She said no.

This could be a flirtatious comment if you treated your girlfriend with respect but the rest of your post indicates that you do not view her as a human and you asking for a sexual transaction demonstrates that perfectly.

> I told my friends about details of our sex life. How she likes to get tied up. Slapped. Candle wax. Ect..

Did you ask her if it was okay to share these details with anyone? No? Okay this is a breach of privacy and trust. This just makes you a grade A prick.

> I said she has endometriosis. And got forced into an abortion when she was younger.

Again, breach of privacy and trust. Many women are fine with their medical conditions being disclosed. Did you ask permission to share either of these medical conditions/procedures? No? Okay, Grade A Prick.

> “I don’t know if I feel much for her. My ex broke me and made me numb. If things don’t work I’ll go for her best friend she’s cute “ Meaning my ex’s best friend.

Who is this funny to? It is not, to anyone, particularly your partner. HOW IS THIS FUNNY that you are saying she is second choice. At this point, I am wondering if you are 14... because then this post would made sense.

A joke is something you say to get some laughs. Who laughed at any of these things? Nobody. Maybe your friends laughed at your ex's sexual preferences... they would have been laughing AT her, not WITH her, which means it is a joke AT HER EXPENSE.

You are a piece of garbage. She deserves better.

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Mel1548 t1_jdvsabo wrote

I would have pissed about all the private stuff you told your friends.

Edit: way to edit your post to try to make it seem like you aren’t a shit person. Your ex gf dodge a huge bullet.

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Ginger_Path t1_jdw9t4o wrote

That's impressive, because I have no idea what was there before the edit and what I just read still paints OP in a horrible light.

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Mel1548 t1_jdwt2tm wrote

He reworded things to make it seem like he had actually reasons for what he did, which still make him a shit person.

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[deleted] t1_jdvtjm2 wrote

Now you know to learn from this. Keep your future partner's business to yourselves.

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Irate_Alligate1 t1_jdw6hlk wrote

She wants to end things over your disrespect and immaturity and she would be right to. Jfc man, have some dignity and respect for your partner.

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Drgnmstr97 t1_jdw6k7p wrote

You didn't fu because of some jokes, you fu'd because you never matured past high school. Don't take that personally, most guys don't really gain substantial maturity till after 25.

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HibachiFlamethrower t1_jdwir5x wrote

No he definitely needs to take it personally. Most guys I know mature with age. Most perverted idiots don’t mature though.

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melonlady13 t1_jdxmosw wrote

I’m confused. How is telling someone about your gfs abortion a joke? How do you think any of this can be considered jokes? Seriously please explain how any of your ‘jokes’ are meant to be funny.

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Obsidian-G t1_jdwmi1e wrote

I have a strong urge to call you the C word..

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Ill-Breadfruit5356 t1_jdx6lbs wrote

The biggest FU is you don’t even realise all the shit you did wrong. You really need to become a better person before you inflict yourself on another girlfriend

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HibachiFlamethrower t1_jdwiejd wrote

You deserve this and she deserves better. You’re gross and so are your friends.

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[deleted] t1_jefgpex wrote

[removed]

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