Submitted by germandude212 t3_11vfqkz in tifu

At first, English isn't my first language. So I (19m) was yesterday at a friends house, we made a little friends party and played beer pong, I was good at it but I still had to drink much, long story short, I drank way to much and in my drunk condition I was so dumb and texted my ex girlfriend. Its very complicated, we are still best friends, we text or sometimes even call every day. Problem is she got a new BF, so i don't say anything about my feelings (who's still there, even after the breakup a year ago). I even told her a story, that I'm in love with an other girl to hide my feelings. But Yesterday I was too drunk and my friends somehow pushed me to text her, so I did it. She left me on read. I don't know what to do. I don't want to loose her, she makes me happy, even when I'm just a friend. So I got up this morning, 7 missed calls, 3 from unknown number and 4 from her and about 25 text. I'm scared about what will happen. I don't want to be the reason that she has to break up with her BF, either i don't want to loose her. Looks like I have to make a decision. Thanks for reading y'all, have a better day than mine.

TL;DR: I wrote while I was drunk a text to my best-friend, that I'm still in love with her, woke up to several missed calls and texts.



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fredsam25 t1_jct676m wrote

I did this once drunk, but my ex wasn't responding to my texts. So late at night, I called her, but some guy picked up her phone. I became livid and said the most vile things to that dude. Tore him a new asshole. Told him all the things I already did with her to gross him out, and then hung up and cried. The next day she texts back "WTF did you say to my dad!?!" I blocked her number and moved on with my life. Don't often think about that one...


cyankitten t1_jcw139o wrote

This is IMO so funny it needs to be its own TIFU 🤣


Marybone t1_jcsvdbr wrote

Just speak to her. What will be, will work itself out, but not by burying your head in the sand. She may have feelings for you but you won't know if you don't talk.


germandude212 OP t1_jcsvjpf wrote

Problem is she got a BF, i don't want to affect her relationship with him, but thanks for the advise.


calculatingmacaw t1_jcsxif9 wrote

OP, I'll be honest with you. You confessing your love for her will already be affecting her relationship. You're her ex-boyfriend. She clearly still cares for you since you're still friends, but that would have been hard enough for her new partner without now knowing that you're still in love with her. If she still loves you, then she will say that. But you have to be prepared that she may not.

Your confession is likely going to change things and you have to be ready for that being a positive change or a negative one. My advice would be to put a bit of distance between you both while you take some time to heal. Being around her constantly, texting and calling her daily, seeing her with someone else, all while you want to be with her... that's really difficult to move on from. Give yourself some time to recover from the breakup because you clearly haven't. Wishing you all the best, OP.


Marybone t1_jcsvq3b wrote

You can still talk to her and respect that she has a relationship already.


[deleted] t1_jcvjauv wrote

>i don't want to affect her relationship

Very noble, and very easy. Essentially there is just one thing you need to avoid in order to do this; make sure you don't tell her you love her.


germandude212 OP t1_jcz7r24 wrote

I was drunk, I know it sounds like a bad excuse but it is what it is


[deleted] t1_jczvb2c wrote

The good news is that you can completely fix your mistake by removing yourself from her life and never contacting her again. It is what it is.


tony504 t1_jctbsgo wrote

What did the 25 texts say


germandude212 OP t1_jcz8a85 wrote

like : "are you serious" "I got a boyfriend" "are you drunk" "why did you told me that" "I love you too, but in a other way" but she confessed to me early, that since me made new contact after our breakup, that she has a few more love feelings for me. Its pretty confusing I know


GsTSaien t1_jcttfph wrote

Can I be fully honest with you? You don't want to stay friends with her. Being friends with an ex only works once feelings are gone. You are in the hook, suffering, for nothing. Cut or greatly reduce contact, get over her, then do whatever you want.


CosmicTuesday t1_jcuzfsm wrote

Coming from the perspective of a woman, take some space from her, she’ll likely need space after this. Either way, the dynamic has changed. Her new boyfriend probably didn’t already like that you guys stayed friends, and now that you’ve confessed you still love her it’ll put tension on that relationship.

He will probably want her to cut all ties, she might not want to as she still cares about you — you guys remained friends. However, he will counter her argument against it by arguing she still has feelings for you.

Additionally, it might be worth it to reconsider your friendship with the friends who pushed you to text her. You’ve probably told them she’s in a new relationship, and knowing that, they still pushed you to text her while in an inebriated state. Friends don’t do that.

Also, we really don’t know without the context of what the calls and texts contained.


Gaimcap t1_jcv8s2c wrote

>Friends don’t do that.

Eh… I can definitely see a case where OP is constantly pinning after their ex and complaining or moping about it to his friends, and they constantly tell him for his own sake to either cut her off or go for it, and eventually they’re just kind of sick of constantly hearing about the perpetual state of miserable limbo he’s keeping himself in—both because they care about him, and are also tried of him being a dumbass—and so they push him to do something drastic.

Pushing him to do it while he’s blackout drunk and she’s in a relationship is pretty awful, but I could see how a friend might actually think that their current situation is so toxic anyway, that anything is better than maintaining the status quo.

Are those good friends? Probably not, but I can tell you from similar situations and dynamics (both as a participant and an outside observer) that friendship’s are a two way street, and infinite patience and unconditional love and support is not—and should not be—a thing from anyone but maybe your parents.

I’ve had a couple of friends that were in similar situations and the first few months it’s easy to empathize and be completely supportive, but after a few years of trying to get them to do anything, you start to feel like the friendship is a one way street where everything always becomes about them and their issues, and like your own friendship dynamics is completely unhealthy and starting to become drain that’s negatively affecting you.

It’s not great for anyone involved, but sometimes that’s the reality.


germandude212 OP t1_jcz9tyb wrote

Yeah, problem with cut all ties is that her BF and I, switched places. I'm her new best friend and her ex-Best friend is her new BF. Its pretty complicated. Her BF said nothing to this or nothing I know about to this situation. I'm not sure if she told him but her best girlfriend(who I'm also good friends with) said she did and I believe her


CelebrationSevere199 t1_jctuiji wrote

I agree with some of the comments above. You've already changed the dynamic between the both of you. I think it's safe to say unless we know what she's messaged you either it will fracture your friendship with her or she will want to get back together with you.


germandude212 OP t1_jcz9c52 wrote

She texted stuff like : "are you serious" "why did you told me that" she confessed she had a few feelings for me too, but she's with her BF and that won't change and I told her that right after I made the post, that I'm not getting in a relationship with her again, because of her Bf


Smodphan t1_jcvhqee wrote

I thought this was about the girl being drunk, so here's my similar one. I text a girl to come hang out at my house if she wants. She says to call her and I realize she's too drunk when I do. I tell her I'd be happy to come pick her up because she's at work (bartender). She tells me not to worry and she'll get an Uber if she decides to come.

In short, she decides to drive to my place, and she gets a DUI. I get a call from her coworkers telling me they didn't realize she was gone and they were worried. I literally went driving to make sure she was okay and got to see her walking the line. Her car was totaled as she drove into some trees. I wish I could say this was the first red flag and I had caught on right away.


FrostingSavings5505 t1_jcwtgpk wrote

My friend and her boyfriend were just there for the weekend so we had a good visit and I got a nice surprise from them for the day


Srudge t1_jct0g7s wrote



AnotherDempsey t1_jcua078 wrote

Stick to your anime and video games 😂


Just_Cycle_4790 t1_jcus1kj wrote

Agreed. Don't call other men betas, it's like ringing a dinner bell for Domme's , those ladies will pass on you and have those "betas" for breakfast, lunch, and dinner instead.