I’m sorry that you’ve had to struggle through this alone. I think you did the right thing by “coming clean” even if it might lead to the end of your relationship. Being held accountable and being true to yourself is more important for your recovery at this stage in your life than your relationship, doesn’t mean it’s not going to hurt like hell though. I would encourage you to seek medical help if you aren’t already. There are lots of online therapy options that have made it a tiny bit easier to get the courage to seek therapy and/or medical advice. I’m in no way encouraging you to keep getting high, but as you make your transition to becoming clean I would highly suggest eating edibles instead of smoking the weed during any lapses in weed usage. Yes it would be best to quit all together, but if you ever do decide to get high again then edibles will help protect your lungs and whatever medical condition is affecting them.