My boyfriend and I had sex last night, and afterwards we were cuddling and he mentioned he had watched some porn earlier in the day while I was at work. I know a girl in a porn video is always going to be hotter than I am on any regular day. That's the point of porn and I know there's no sense in comparing myself to those ladies.
So, despite knowing that, I spoke without thinking and asked playfully if the orgasm with me was better than the one he got from the porn video. His response was that the porn one was better because he'd been really horny and there's a specific actress he likes to watch.
Now my feelings are hurt and I can't shake the self-consciousness I've been feeling since then. All I can think is that I'll never be as good as porn. That's what I get for asking a stupid question though.
TLDR: I hurt my own feelings by asking a question I didn't want the answer to, and now I've made myself feel sub-par in hotness.
**EDIT: I can't keep up with comments anymore but I want to point out a couple things:
-
I KNOW I shouldn't have asked the question, that it was a dumb question, and that I shouldn't ask questions I don't want answers to. I openly admit all of that in my post. I don't know why so many people are still being snarky and saying "well, don't ask questions you don't want answers to :) :)"
-
This post is me calling MYSELF out for MY fuck up. I'm not demonizing my boyfriend, demonizing porn, or making anyone else the "villain" in this situation. I made this post to laugh at myself and a lot of people are taking it way, way too seriously. This is TIFU, not Am I The Asshole.
-
My boyfriend is incredible. He treats me wonderfully in all ways in and out of bed. Im not angry with him nor do I think he is an asshole that deliberately wanted to hurt me.This is not grounds for a breakup. Please remember that this is a teeny tiny glimpse into one moment of the relationship, and it's a moment I was trying to laugh at by posting here.
Thank you to those that have offered advice and kind words. I've gotten some really nasty DMs and comments and it's unfortunate that people actually want to waste time being mean to a stranger on the Internet.