TIFU by hiring a housecleaner

edit TIFU by hiring an UNPROFESSIONAL housecleaner

So my apartment is a train wreck. There’s a million reasons why we fall behind in housework, but top 5 are: I’m a full time nursing student in my last semester, I’m currently working 24-36/week, my SO is a full time teacher, we both have ADHD and depression, and no one picks up after themselves. My mom is also a chronically messy person, like myself and my SO, and we are all trying to do better, but struggling.

So my mom had someone come in and help her get her apt cleaned, and then gifted us a visit from a different housecleaner to help us out. The housecleaner (D) she (already) paid to visit us is the daughter of someone my mom (S) and I both used to work with, so I was a bit reluctant to have someone I KNOW be aware of the state of our apartment, but she was trying to get her cleaning service started and my mom wanted to help her out. I get it scheduled with D, but the night before she’s supposed to come I had been studying for a big exam, trying to crawl out of my depressive episode, and just function, so I hadn’t had a chance to actually preclean the apartment before she came. I texted her that night asking to reschedule for a time when I had a chance to preclean, explaining that I had an exam I desperately needed to study for and I hadn’t been able to preclean. She adamantly assures me that it’s fine, not to worry about it, to focus on my exam and let her handle the mess. I reluctantly agree.

Wednesday she texts that she’s running late and won’t be there before I leave for school, we make arrangements for her to let herself in, and I don’t hear anything else until the afternoon when I turn my phone back on after my exam. I have a text that just says, “hey I’m sorry I’m going to have to reschedule.” I say, “okay is something wrong??” She says the mess is more than she was expecting and that she can come back another time after I’ve had a chance to preclean like I said. It wasn’t a wasted trip anyway because she had to deliver something my mom commissioned from her mom.

Friday when I talk to my mom again, I tell her that D had rescheduled because the mess was too much. So we are going to be working on cleaning this week while we are on spring break. My mom texted D, to my chagrin, because she was frustrated that she hadn’t been notified, as the payor, that services had not actually been rendered.

That’s when D tells my mom that it was just way too much, that she’s only telling her this mother to mother, that if her daughter was living like we are she would want to know and she would be concerned. Then D offers to send my mom THE VIDEO she took of my apartment to show her what she’s talking about, and she’s again only doing this mother to mother out of concern. My mom and I are both very upset that the video was taken, and even more so that she offered to send it to my mom. My mom told her basically that she’s aware of the condition, that we need help, and that’s why she hired a housecleaner to help us. Mom is asking for a refund because we both feel betrayed and aren’t comfortable with D coming back later, and D basically said she will have to wait two weeks because she used it to pay rent. Which, fine whatever I totally understand that.

TLDR: hired a housecleaner who didn’t clean the house, said it was too messy, and recorded a video of my apt instead.

Edited to break up the wall of text.