Submitted by Momochi-Sama t3_11tbhpi in tifu
My mum had a packet of sugar-free Werthers stashed in the kitchen that nobody was meant to touch. I touched them.
I was craving some sugar and they were right there in front of me, I took the entire bag, and snuck it into my room to consume.
They were delicious, addicting even. I couldn't stop eating them at a rapid pace. one candy turned into 5 which turned into 10 and before I knew it, I ate almost 30 of them.
All was good, I was happy. but then, the stomach pain arrived. it was subtle at first, just your usual pain. I ignored it, but then, it got even worse. Flatuance arrived like an evil god and it wouldn't stop. Gas was building up inside my intestinal tract and I couldn't stop it.
I farted and farted, trying my best to relieve the pressure that had built up in my intestines but to no avail. This continued until that dreaded moment, I let go of a particularly devious fart that I was holding in, and it was then that I sensed it. the sense of heat, the sense of liquid spurting out of a tight hole, I sharted.
I immediately went to the bathroom and what came next was a hurricane of pure liquidized feces, it was disgusting, it was painful, it was scary. I have never experienced something like this. I finished my tribulation and left the bathroom, safely disposing of the rancid boxers.
I knew something was up, something about those devious candies. I went to the Werther website and there I saw it, in small print, hidden below the nutritional information, was a warning. It read;
" Excessive consumption may produce laxative effects. "
I was gobsmacked, my jaw dropped, hell even my heart dropped. I couldn't believe my eyes, those candies I ate to relieve my sugar cravings, were actually my doom. I did some calculations and realized I ate almost 80 grams of the natural laxative present in the candy, ISOMALT.
I did some research and I was shocked even more, the amount of Isomalt you had to consume to pose a risk of intestinal distress was 20-30 grams. I consumed 80...
It has been almost 12 hours and I have been to the toilet an untold amount of times, even now, I am writing this very post in the toilet, contemplating my dire future and if I will see the light of day again. 12 hours and the clock just struck 2 am, and yet, the poison shows no sign of slowing, I am in for a long night my friends. No information anywhere tells me the length of the laxative effect, I might be patient zero, only I could be the one to eat 30 of those sweets in the span of 30 minutes.
Whilst I am living in this hellish torture, I have decided to warn the people of the world about my fate, lest they also think of doing something so stupid and uneducated. I will never be touching any sugar-free alternatives ever again in my life. This day will be remembered as a day of pain, a day of suffering, and as a day of agony... I wish this fate upon no man, not even my greatest enemy.
TLDR: I foolishly ate an entire bag of sugar-free candy and with it was around 80 grams of a natural laxative and now I'm paying the price.
EDIT1:
ok, I managed to get myself to bed and succumbed to the sweet release of sleep, fearing that I will wake up in the middle of the night, my bed laid to waste by a violent barrage of dung, but the worst did not come to happen thankfully. The liquid diarrhea has lessened substantially (probably because I have literally nothing in me for my body to even digest) but the flatulence is still going strong, albeit in a much, much less frequency than the day before.
haha, just realized from all the comments that i ate sugar-free candy to deal with a sugar craving xD. not the smartest thing I did.
It also seems like I'm not the only one to fall for this despicable trap, I've read up on the infamous sugar-free Haribo's, my condolences go to all the victims.
And I agree with the person in the comments, why aren't these laxative labels more pronounced, like be honest with me who is only going to eat like 2-3 of these if you have an entire bag :(