Submitted by quaesuntvera t3_11v7dae in tifu
My older daughter (R, 8f) was invited to and went to her bestie's birthday party tonight. My husband dropped her off on his way to work. My younger daughter, D (5f), was upset she couldn't go, because it was at one of her favorite places. We told her not to feel bad she wasn't invited, since the party was for R's friend. D was bummed, but with help from some games, she moved on.
Per the invitation, the party was supposed to end at 7pm. I got there right on time to pick up R, with D in tow. Except the party wasn't over. They hadn't even cut the cake. No big deal, we didn't have anywhere to be. I told D to go see if she could get some cake, because there was plenty. They kindly gave her some. Eventually, R's bestie started passing out goody bags. Each one had the guest's name written on it. And there was one for D. It was at this moment that I realized my double FU: the party wasn't actually planned to end at 7, and more importantly, D was invited the whole time.
I think the confusion happened because we're your garden variety white Midwesterners, and bestie's family is recent African immigrants; I guess there are just different cultural norms for birthday parties than we're used to. Thankfully, D is too young to understand the implications of the personalized goody bag. If she had known, it would've been public meltdown city. But because we got there at the written end time (aka, not actually the end of the party), D got the cake, all the treats handed out after the cake, and her goody bag, which all felt like a bonus to her. To me too, honestly, because it was so kind of them to include her. R, my husband, and I have all agreed to not tell D what happened. We got off easy this time, and next time, we'll know to clarify!
TL;DR: Misinterpreted a kid's party invitation and accidently excluded one of my kids from a party she was invited to.