TIFU by looking at paperwork about my mom that my dad told me not to.

My (34m) Dad (70) was recently diagnosed with some pretty serious medical issues and me and my brother had to put him into an assisted living facility for the foreseeable future. Also we’ve been working on getting one of my brothers power of attorney for my Dad in case something happens. As part of this whole process the social worker that was helping us told us it would be easier in the long run to get a copy of my Moms death certificate. She died of cancer and a resulting coma when I was 11 and it’s something that I really didn’t come to terms with until my mid 20s. Getting this certificate was delegated to me so I ask my Dad if he has a copy at his house. He tells me “there’s one in the filing cabinet in the basement but DON’T LOOK THROUGH THE BLACK ENVELOPE!”. I tell fine fine whatever. At his point I’m just glad I don’t have to go to city hall or something to get a copy. So I drive out to my Dads and go down into the basement and pretty quickly find the certificate but I also see The Black Envelope and I guess you can see where this in going. Like some poor soul in a H P Lovecraft story I decided to stare into what would unknowingly be my own personal abyss. I dumped its contents out to find insurance paperwork from when my Mom passed. More specifically how they were denying the life insurance claim due to overwhelming evidence that the coma that ultimately led to the end of her life was a result of an intentional overdose of painkillers. Thats how I found out after 23 years that my Mom killed herself. I just sat on the concrete floor of that basement for hours just broken. I’d give anything to not know this. It’s been over a month and I can’t stop having nightmares about it. Going to have to start therapy again. All because I got curious and didn’t listen to my Dad. TLDR: Was told not to look at some paperwork about my Mom that I thought died of cancer 23 years ago only to find out she killed herself.