Submitted by TheDarkLordSentMe t3_11xdta4 in tifu
Throwaway account.
A week ago my mom invited my gf and I to church. I said no, but my gf was too polite to provide the same answer, hence both of us ending up in church this past Sunday. There was a moment during the service when the mic was available for anyone to share any personal experience connected to God. My mom decided to grab the mic and share something about me. She thanked God for providing me with the gift to play the guitar. She made me sound like I was Jimi Hendrix. Her passionate testimony prompted the congregation to applaud. I was fuming. I specifically asked my mom to avoid any theatrics that would draw attention to me. My mom's over the top speech ended with her saying that she prayed that I will one day use my guitar to play for God instead of the internet.
At that moment, an enthusiastic church minister grabbed an electric guitar from one of the church's band members and said God wanted me to play that guitar. The congregation went crazy, including my mom. My gf and I had no idea what the fuck was happening. The minister encouraged me to approach the stage and "allow God to guide my hand" as I played the guitar. I awkwardly stood on stage, struggling to think of something to play. I was like "Ok, Big G, if you're up there, here goes nothing." I went full Scott Pilgrim. When I was done, I said that was Down with the Sickness by Disturbed. My mom looked uncomfortable. Everyone did. Except my gf. She looked entertained. The atmosphere in church was no longer as joyous. The minister took the guitar away, put both his hands on my head, and prayed for me like he was expelling evil. It was embarrassing walking back to my seat after hearing someone pray for my soul to be saved.
TL:DR
I played the guitar in church, but the crowd didn't approve of my taste in my music, so I had to be prayed for to save my soul from darkness.