I can totally relate to that spiraling into the NSFW thoughts :D you just backed yourself into a corner. I usually feel suffocated because I fight it back. It took me a while but once you just let those tears flow and ugly cry you’ll realize how liberating that can be.

Link? For scientific purposes, of course.

I don’t think people can always control their emotions during grief. My husbands aunt committed suicide and my mother in law was truly distraught. They were very close and it came out of nowhere for her. During the visitation my mother in law started laughing really loud in the chapel. The aunts husband was glaring at her and it was so very awkward.