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bdc0409 t1_ir0muve wrote

Reply to comment by narvuntien in TIFU By Calling My Friend's Mom A Hoe by Quinn_eth

I have a genuine question that I’ve struggled with, how do you apologize for something you don’t think was your fault? Maybe I misunderstand what an apology is but I thought the whole point was acknowledging your fault.

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4_Legged_Duck t1_ir0pc3t wrote

When it's "not your fault" apologizing hurts your pride. Apologizing when you don't feel at fault can feel like a lie, but part of what you're doing is humbling yourself before that person, saying that you choose them more than your pride. Non-english speaking cultures have this baked into their linguistics. Japanese comes to mind.

A lot of these AITA posts could get solved when the OP of the post just apologizes to their partner/friend/family regardless of who is at fault. You may be right, you may die on your righteous hill, but you're going to lose that connection no matter how right you are.

"Being right" and being right isn't always the same thing. Sometimes it's better to say "I'm sorry, you're right," and choose their feelings over your own.

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Xais56 t1_ir0qk58 wrote

>"Being right" and being right isn't always the same thing.

Just because one is correct does not mean one is right.

It is correct to say that a significantly reduced human population would be good for the planet. It is not right to say we should nuke Asia.

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narvuntien t1_ir0qfju wrote

Let go of your ego.
You are actually at least a little responsible for how people interpret what you say even if you didn't mean it the way they interpret it. You are actually sorry that they misinterpreted you and now have such a negative attitude towards you. But unless you take some responsibility for that misinterpretation it won't be genuine.

"Hey I made a mistake here, what can I do not to make it again?"

But getting misinterepted sends my anxiety skyrocketing, I am always being accidently rude on things like phone calls and emails and to cashiers. things have been a lot better since I got medication for it.

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