Submitted by plotweapon t3_xxjhee in tifu

So as some background, I (25M) love meme songs, especially old classics from when I was in high school. May be stupid, but I have a dumb sense of humor and it amuses me. I’ve been waiting to start a new job and have lots of free time, so have taken to going on drives around the city I just recently moved to while my girlfriend is at work. Today I was doing that, and had an urge to listen to my meme music playlist since it had been a while since I had. Didn’t occur to me at the time, and the main reason all of this happened is recently my car was broken into and a window was smashed (I normally roll up my windows when I play stuff so as to not bother others).

Was driving around in the hills of the city I live, and “Suck My Dick Hoe” by Lil B comes on. I was unfamiliar with this part of the city, and had no idea a retirement home was there. Oblivious to this, the song is almost over before I see, and I restart it a second time. Right as I get into a mini traffic jam on the street caused by a moving truck - everyone was stuck driving very slow. Two old ladies are walking past me on the sidewalk out of their building, just as the based god himself utters his classic “hoes on my dick ‘cause I look like Matlock” lyric.

I have never seen someone more appalled in my life. I was driving past them and initially like “aww look at these two old ladies walking together, cute” until it plays, they stop in their tracks as if on cue, and start staring at me. I keep driving slowly as I realized I fucked up, but neglect to stop the song, definitely worsening the situation. One starts gesturing at me with a scowl, while the other is looking frozen in place with her cane. I realize suddenly and naively waive at them (with good intent) and sorta stick my head out of the window. Seems to have made it worse, my olive branch of apology seems to have been misinterpreted as some arrogant gesture, and then they begin raising their voices and walking towards me. Out of shame and regret, I roll up my driver’s window and cut my music. They were thankfully slow and the jam cleared more, and I was able to escape, but I never came out here with the intent to piss off two old women and traumatize them. Surprised they got angry in the end somewhat, but at least they’ll have a story to tell as I do on the bright side? A man can tell himself that at least. Poor women.

TL;DR - Probably inadvertently traumatized and pissed off two old ladies just trying to enjoy their day with my shitty meme music/humor.

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Comments

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[deleted] t1_ire6ncs wrote

Traumatized my ass. They most likely went back to the crib and ripped you a new one while drinking sherry and eating fancy cheeses with Sophia and Blanche.

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Dynamic-Wanderer t1_irfdb4o wrote

I thought for sure you were going to say they went back to the crib and ripped a bong :D :D :D

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OkVolume1 t1_ire9li6 wrote

One doesn't diss Matlock in retirement communities.

You're safer punching a cop.

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starnip t1_irgwvdo wrote

You can’t just post this story and not include the link to the playlist man

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Louis-Rocco t1_ire3212 wrote

Traumatized? Lol. Old people aren’t snowflakes.

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LurksAroundHere t1_irhcclk wrote

Right? Younger people are more shocked/fascinated by sex and think sexual jokes are edgy because it's relatively new in their lives while old people don't gaf because they've already lived through many decades of sex and have already seen it all lol.

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Dottie_D t1_irs2au5 wrote

Here’s my favorite LOL joke:

Three little old ladies sitting in the entry lounge in their country club. A naked man races by!

  • LOL #1: “That’s not my husband!”
  • LOL #2: “No, it sure isn’t!”
  • LOL #3: “He’s not even a member here!”
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Dynamic-Wanderer t1_irfdgom wrote

So for the most important question: is that playlist on Spotify? Sounds like a great Friday playlist :D

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JulesVerne80 t1_iri53qa wrote

Next time you drive by you should play Deepthroat by cupcakKe 😅

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naclord t1_irlstiu wrote

Thank you based god

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Ainar86 t1_irzyrbo wrote

When I read "meme songs" I was expecting something like D1ck in a Box or at least CBAT, this is just regular ass explicit hip hop.

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Adept-Idea2592 t1_is5s9k4 wrote

I think they were surprised you'd be playing something like that without any windows.

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MethodPossible1372 t1_ismn483 wrote

You didn't traumatize any old women. They were young once too and guaranteed they know what reverse cowgirl is.

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mr_glide t1_isk7616 wrote

I really don't understand why people do this patronising-ass "aww, aren't old people sweet" nonsense. They're not newborn babies, you weirdos

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