TIFU by scrubbing my pits n' bits with tingly tea tree shampoo

Submitted by Bean_Juice_Brew t3_xyv6hf in tifu

Like many TIFU submissions, this one started with good intentions; unlike many, this just happened! So I decided to take a nice hot shower before going on a family trip; this is one of those long maintenance showers you take because you know the car ride with a screaming child will be miserable. While in the shower, I notice that my wife has a nice tea tree shampoo in the hanging rack above the sprayer. Here's where the tifu happens; I think to myself, "what better way to deep clean the ol' growth forest?" I lather a big handful into my hair and then give the boys a good scrub down. It was only after the icy fist of doom gripped my satchel that I thought to read the bottle.

"indulge in a burst of freshness with this blend infused with tea tree oil, peppermint and witch hazel. And invigorate your senses with a minty-tingle and discover hair that is shiny and healthy looking"

I also applied it to my armpits along that same line of logic. As I'm writing this, my pits are catching on fire. Dreading putting on deodorant...

Tl;dr scrubbed pits n' nuts with tingly tea tree shampoo and am feelin' the burn.

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AcrobaticSource3 t1_irj7iej wrote

“Pits n’ Bits” is a great name for a bordello

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Alarmed_Strain_2575 t1_irkyozn wrote

There are tradies (workperson, labourers) shampoo in Australia for pits and bits, it's a pretty silly and funny ad.

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harleyspoison267 t1_irjeooo wrote

Don't feel too bad, I was using tea tree oil shampoo after recommendation for itchy scalp and couldn't figure out what was eviscerating the skin above my eyes/eyelids. Went to a regular dermatologist who referred me to a fancy allergy dermatologist who took one look and knew exactly what the issue was. Stopped the shampoo. Never needed any fancy creams or allergy treatments after months of suffering. Felt like such an idiot. Lol

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Weird-Roll6265 t1_irnpbzh wrote

My brother grabbed my tea tree shampoo in the shower once--just about fried his retinas. Never made that mistake again :P

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beige4ever t1_irjhbz6 wrote

I once used Ben-gay on a muscle cramp then touched my balls... never again.

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YABOYCHIPCHOCOLATE t1_irqp4p3 wrote

Lucky you at least. I rubbed Bengay on my upper thighs once thanks to a cramp and burned myself alive. Stuck to just hot towels afterwards

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ragedknuckles t1_irjusg4 wrote

Op i i got into poison ivy and i grabbed the wrong bottle in the dark and lathered on pure mint extract thinking i grabbed lavender oil... yeah i couldn't sit in cold water nor hot water

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RedDinoTF t1_irjwlua wrote

Ohhhh i cant even think what it did

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ragedknuckles t1_irjycwz wrote

Oh my satchel turned purple lmao it hurt so bad. So when i did it.. my wife was asleep on the couch. I walked in there with just a t shirt and said hey babe .. i think i fucked up.. woke up out of a sleep and said oh god what did you do.. told my dad later on and he said i thought you were just rubbing random shit on your weiner son.. lmfao

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Shr_mp t1_irjd2ai wrote

Poor dude.

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TheLastKirin t1_irjwid7 wrote

You might have an allergy or extra sensitivity. I use this stuff and don't have that issue.
Or maybe your wife just has some incredibly intense brand. I have been using Trader Joe's.

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RoaldDahlek t1_irko4u4 wrote

From his description he's using the Paul Mitchell brand which is the same stuff I use. It's labelled tea tree but really, it's mostly peppermint. Like, Dr Bronner strength peppermint.

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katanakid13 t1_irk9smx wrote

Yep. Or something's gone wrong at the factory that made the shampoo and OP has chem burns as a result. Happened to me with Axe and Old Spice a few years ago.

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BeastOGevaudan t1_is1mggh wrote

I immediately thought of Trader Joe's! I always say, "It puts the tinglies in your jinglies."

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Pr1meKn1ght t1_irkabrl wrote

Totally. The first time I used tea tree soap on muh bits they had never felt so clean and fresh.

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[deleted] t1_irl3eqg wrote

[deleted]

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sandychucks t1_irll3dy wrote

I(male) once masturbated after applying tiger balm on my achy knees without washing my hands but i had to hop in the shower and wash off after it got unbearably hot

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ponkins2 t1_irlfw5h wrote

Omg. I'm imagining trying to remove it frantically once the deep absorbtion began. In your defense, it is used to "rub one out", although it is usually used for muscle pain.

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Zeroharas t1_irko559 wrote

Just be glad it didn't get on your butthole. It's a cold burn that seems to increase when you're frantically trying to wash it off. Silver lining: you will always check soap bottles first before washing downtown with it.

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Gerrard_legend120 t1_irk23ag wrote

i was playing a flight sim when i saw this,i started laughing hard and crashed my airbus.

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RoaldDahlek t1_irknp89 wrote

>this blend infused with tea tree oil, peppermint and witch hazel

Tea tree soaps don't usually burn. Was it the Paul Mitchell brand of teatree shampoo by chance? That stuff is like Dr Bronner's peppermint with a splash of tea tree. That's probably what actually caused your burning balls. I can't believe you actually went ahead with putting it on your crotch because it literally smells like a fucking York peppermint patty when you open the bottle.

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arcanum7123 t1_irkhhwz wrote

Is it original source mint shower gel by any chance? Because that shit will make your arse whistle

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kooyma t1_irl4lgl wrote

OMG I LOVE that stuff- is it still made?!? Original Mint Source shampoo is wooonderful! {apologies if I mixed up the name it's been 20 years}.

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Mysterious-Rough-417 t1_irlbo38 wrote

I once tried using that blue hot n cold gel stuff to jerk off when I was around 17. It burned so much i passed it on to my son who was born 5 years later.

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Sidewaysgentlemen t1_irkik21 wrote

I did this two nights ago right before the venue we went to for my buddy to propose to his gf. The nethers were really cold and I was just waiting for it to start burning lmfao

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yurihyuga108 t1_irl5tm2 wrote

Your just not used to it. I use tea tree and mint body wash and wash everywhere with it and love the tingly burn and the fresh feeling afterwards. Sometimes it can be a bit intense especially if you have a cut or something but even then don't mind it.

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pineappleforrent t1_irjxy98 wrote

Misery loves company? Apparently you wanted distraction from the screaming child?

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RealRutz t1_irk7ysk wrote

Jerked off w that shampoo dick felt freshhhhhhh

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ItDoesntMatter59 t1_irk8cs0 wrote

Anything with tea tree will irritate soft tissue

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Revocation_Of_Doubt t1_irkp3al wrote

I worry about some peoples level of tolerance for discomfort.... try some veet and get back to me when you've experienced real discomfort

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kooyma t1_irl4aov wrote

Oh fooey, Veet is child's play; try an epilady, then we'll chat! The guy who created that monster should be required to have a grumpy mammography tech do his testicular exam.

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Avahlkyrie t1_irn1puq wrote

I have had the displeasure of experiencing Veet and Tea Tree Oil to the ole genitalia (not at the same time thankfully) and honestly I would take Veet any day. Tea tree oil dives through your most sensitive of skin and feels like it's now trapped on the inside and can only escape by stabbing every pore with pine needles and searing it's way through the tiny stinging vents it just made.

But YMMV

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Sir_Remington1294 t1_irkyqaf wrote

Lol I did that with hair conditioner with menthol in it once to shave. Everything was burnt numb.

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Calihobo t1_irl4oew wrote

I regularly forget this and buy peppermint body wash during the holidays

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cpsbstmf t1_irlbav8 wrote

yeah tea tree is nothing to mess with. Heard its good for killing lash mites so i bought some and put it on my lids. OWwwww

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compaqdeskpro t1_irliur5 wrote

This is why I use nothing but Dove and Head & Shoulders.

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Devrij68 t1_irlysfv wrote

My wife loves that shit and I also learned the hard way after the cold sack and butthole set in.

It's like those old gum commercials where they are suddenly transported to a windy mountain top, but for your balls.

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IndependentVibes2214 t1_irmngp1 wrote

I did this with bath and body works eucalyptus and mint body wash needless to say, i also was feelin' the burn loll. I didn't understand why it was burning me for WEEEKS til i read the bottle

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Weird-Roll6265 t1_irnp72g wrote

LOL ouchhhhh!!!! Tea tree shampoo is amazing stuff--for hair :P

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AGReddy t1_irq3veg wrote

Believe it or not, I can actually relate to you. I remember in my younger years (when I was much less intelligent) that I bought a nice invigorating body wash primarily with peppermint fragrance. It was only after I washed myself “down there“ that I realized the error of my ways, and had a nice time preparing myself for bed. :(

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BlackHatter559 t1_irrbk8b wrote

What a bunch of pansy's lmfao I regularly use any mentholatum product cuz the ice still leaves is better than summer breeze

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Fivyrn t1_irvq0wm wrote

I once covered my balls in Tiger Balm at a party. It was intense. The worst part was not considering that my little friend would be resting on them and get the same treatment.

It was fun though, no regrets.

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absurdhierarchy t1_irxtcsw wrote

Yknow vics vapo rub stuff, like a menthol cream right, kinda has the consistency of vaseline. Well imagine if you mistook that for hemorrhoid cream.

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Bean_Juice_Brew OP t1_irxuh22 wrote

Oh... Oh my. That's awful, clear winner out of all the responses I've gotten.

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SlowtownFanboy t1_is0fr4a wrote

I have another incident with tea tree shampoo when I was 7 cuz the dumbass I was decided to use the suction thing on my balls which then su ked it into the bottle

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HistorianBig7040 t1_it3e2ye wrote

That is a very unfortunate event and I'm sorry your bits and things were burning but uhmm..

What was the shampoo called? I love those ingredients for my hair but have never seen them all in the same bottle 🤣

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paxparty t1_irkjoft wrote

If teatree is burning you that badly.... you should probably apply it more often. Source, I use dr. bronners teatree soap every day, does not burn in the slightest.

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RoaldDahlek t1_irkmb2r wrote

It sounds like he used the Paul Mitchell teatree shampoo which also has a buttload of peppermint in it. That's the real culprit.

As a sidenote, Dr Bronner's teatree won't burn you but the DB peppermint sure will. My husband used it to wash his entire lower region once and immediately regretted it.

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paxparty t1_irljbln wrote

Welp, the title is a bit misleading then I suppose.

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SlytherinSilence t1_irphllt wrote

How did I know that op was a man before even reading this post

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Th3Glutt0n t1_irkfw7x wrote

I don't understand what the fuck up is, can someone explain it

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