TIFU by begin a gassy asshole in the phone

Submitted by GassyTac0 t3_xyw9id in tifu

Alright lads, long story short.

Context:

2 months ago I sent my curriculum to every single possible job entry I could find since I really want to get a better pay, one friend tells me that I give him my application and he will sent it directly to RH to one of the best paying company in my city because he KNOWS the head of RH there, after that he tells me to wait for a opening.

Fast forward 2 months to yesterday and present day:

Each fucking day for the last 2 weeks I been getting calls like, every single 3-4 hours from phone companies offering me "a better deal" to change my phone plan to them, like i fucking know the prefix of the phone number that is going to be fucking them, so i just start fucking them telling them they are calling Blockbuster, doing moaning sounds, using the same lines the other company uses to them, you get the gist, silly shit.

Today, just about 4 hours ago, i was on the bathroom taking a quick 1-2 and sending a work related email, before I press the fucking sent button I receive a phonecall, i recognize the prefix and see that my email didn't send (and i forgot that draft emails exist).

So i feel the thunder of Satan about to come out of my ass and think "you know what, you will witnesses this you god damn fuck".

So as soon as I pick up the phone, i lift my ass a bit to the side of the toilet and let it rip like fucking hardcore thunder clap (obviously my phone wasn't in any way shape or form near the ass, but the toilet seat made the perfect acoustic sound amplifier, my phone is secure of my farts).

However, this is when my soul leaves though my anus too, when I hear "Hello, this is Anon from [Company Name] are you-" while my fart completely fucking obscures her voice.

After that i just hear silence and "Have a good day" and then it hangs up.

I check the prefix again and I didn't realize that i fucked up with 1 single number that was different since I was mad.

I just went full pale and felt retarded, 1 hour passes and my friend calls.

"Dude, what the flying fuck did you do? Anon from RH told me she called you"

And so, my application is all sorts of banned in there for the rest of my life probably and that is how I lost a interview at one of the best paying companies related to my career.

TL;DR: I farted in my phone thinking it was some assholes that keep calling me every day just to annoy them and it turns out it was a call for a interview at the best paying company in my city.

199

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

AcrobaticSource3 t1_irj7d5i wrote

> gassy asshole

“Gassy Asshole” is a great name for a metal band

79

HelicopterDeep5951 t1_irjia92 wrote

Two things you could do. As someone else mentioned above say it was some sort of issue with your phone because it has been acting very strange lately. Or, just tell them the truth lmao. Say you have been getting repeating spam calls and decided enough was enough and that you were sick of it so you started messing with them. Honesty, even in really awkward situations like that can go a surprisingly long way. You can laugh it off with them, show them that you can act professional and I’m sure they would appreciate that. Then it can be something you laugh over hopefully without getting some sort of nickname (I.e. thunderguts or something like that) but honestly if you want to keep pursuing a job there I think an honest explanation or if you want a good excuse about your phone acting could be a good way to keep moving forward. Never give up keep pursuing if that’s what you want to do. I think being honest would be the best course though because it’s honestly hilarious and if you can be serious at work and do funny shit like that out of work those are the best kinds of people.

52

GassyTac0 OP t1_irjjtpg wrote

Huh, I could try that to be honest, gonna give it a spin

39

SFXBTPD t1_irkbbkc wrote

If anything, i would say you accidentally put it on speaker (and thats why she heard you fart). Talk to your friend first and find out what he knows

16

Ktulu789 t1_irtnxh1 wrote

I think that day will go in history for that RH representative!! She will not forget that EVER! 🤣

And if it turns out into a great employee for the company, even more memorable!!! Just go and call them to explain, it was a honest mistake... 😊

BTW you made me laugh my pants off! I wish your the best! 🥲

Also, I got yelled by a car mechanic when calling to check on my car since he repeatedly thought I was his son calling him at work... It took me many tries to finally contact him and recover my car that day. I'm not mad at him... It was fun xD He works very well, also 💪🏻

So... Yeah, you can fix it! Kudos! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

8

TDKevin t1_irjljpu wrote

Just say someone stole your phone that morning.

7

Accomplished_Sky_857 t1_irjimq3 wrote

Did you say anything? If not, play dumb, say your friend called and told you they called, but you didn't get a call/have no idea what happened. I used to have a job on the phone all day. People call while on the toilet, and we'd hear their business, the flush, hand washing (if they weren't nasty), etc... hated it! Call them, give them an excuse, they'll tell themselves what they heard is not what they think they heard and everybody will be happy.

22

iamreenie t1_irluprh wrote

.Call her and apologize. Tell her you were babysitting your seven-year old, nephew who was using your phone to play games, while you were outside doing yard work, or working in the other room. You didn't realize she had called and that your nephew answered the phone. Thinking he was being funny, he farted into the phone.

You just found out about it from your sister after she overheard her son telling a friend of his. You looked at your call log and realized, to your horror, the call your nephew answered was from the company. Apologize and tell her you're really embarrassed.

Most people can surely relate to kids doing embarrassing things.

This sounds very plausible.

19

Radiodaize t1_irka6zc wrote

Just call and pretend you haven't heard from her and want to follow up. Play dumb to the entire fart call. She'll realize it must have been a wrong number or faulty connection. Probably won't even mention it after that.

Or you can take a photo of yourself in a pair of leather chaps with your exposed bare ass sitting on a Harley and email it to her with the caption, "I only brake for the wind."

11

HairyNutsackNumber9 t1_irjbyff wrote

Just tell them your phone has been acting weird and making loud static noises ever since you got caught in the rain the other day

10

HOLDGMEBROTHERS t1_irjj7z8 wrote

Everyone knows a fart noise dude

14

ender323 t1_irjtcpu wrote

Get a new number (Google voice) and say that you accidentally put your old one on the app. You don't know who has that number now.

9

TattieMafia t1_irjwc6s wrote

I would just email the person apologising and explain you thought it was a spam call. I don't think you'll get the job but it might clear up any misunderstandings and not make your friend looking like a dick for recommending a farter.

7

Queasy_Raccoon_2057 t1_irjdzwp wrote

So, you said nothing and only had diarrhea during a phone call? Hmm, is that a crime now?! I don't get it... 🤷‍♀️

2

GassyTac0 OP t1_irjfvko wrote

I made sure that the caller only heard a loud ass fart as he made his intro.

4

CuriousAstronaut3 t1_irji40o wrote

She could've realized its a bad moment, try calling back and apologize, if they take the apology you'll have a little more intimate relationship with them:) Or get a new phone number, send it to your friend and act like they got the wrong number in the first place. Sounds like you need a new number, indeed.

5

Queasy_Raccoon_2057 t1_irjp4ra wrote

I get that, but it's not as if you said: "This is for you, muthereffer" first... AND, how did they even know it was YOU who answered? I feel like something more is going on here.

3

Alexanderdaw t1_irkjca2 wrote

Can't you register in whatever country you live to the "don't call me" register and you won't get spam calls anymore.

2

Dottie_D t1_irrptw5 wrote

Thanks for the guffaw!

2

Setthegodofchaos t1_irw5iu5 wrote

I'm cry laughing right now. This is the funniest fuck up evar!! Imo.

Just say it was a butt dial

1

OkVolume1 t1_irmet0z wrote

Anyone who casually uses the "r" word doesn't deserve the job.

0