TIFU by opting out of having a shower with my girl who’s on her 🩸…

Submitted by Miser-Mike t3_y4o8bq in tifu

Marrakesh is a beautiful place, by all accounts. We’ve both been enjoying the holiday and she, of course, didn’t anticipate her period coming whilst away so was already upset about that to begin with. She called me to join her while already showering and I was on the bed on the verge of passing out from cocktails. My response was a succinct, “Nah.”

She was quieter than normal after showering and visibly sulking. When I eventually asked what the matter was she seemed to have her argument loaded into the clip. She hit me with the, “You made me feel bad about being a woman. I use tampons, what’s the difference between a shower and us swimming together?”

My retort was that those weren’t the problems at all and I actually just wanted to give her her space to sort out womanly shit, you know what I mean? That’s the truth, too. I do admit I had a flash-forward of standing in reddish water and not being happy about that also though.

Anyway, I FU.

TLDR: I upset my girl by not having a shower with her while on her period!

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Good_nuff t1_isf358f wrote

Standing in reddish water?

You don’t know a damn thing about periods, do you?

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MarkBenec t1_isf3td4 wrote

I think he was imagining the scene from the Shining where the blood was flooding the elevator area.

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Lined_the_Street t1_isf45fw wrote

Thanks alot public education

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Good_nuff t1_isf57xh wrote

If OP is old enough to go on vacation with his gf, he’s old enough to use google. No excuses.

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TuliBean t1_isf66uu wrote

And not be a baby about the part of the body he cares so much about, never-ending girl. Didn't fu he was being himself and called out for it. He could tell her this is what I envisioned and it freaked me out, but you have to say that and not pretend it was "for her to sort it out." Life is gross and it's a big turn off when someone can't step out of their comfort zone for you, just to be with you at a special time in a special place.

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KautiousNupe55 t1_isgktyp wrote

There's nothing childish, misogynistic or even anything remotely problematic about a guy not wanting to shower OR have sex with his girlfriend while she's on her period. He's allowed to have his own preferences that are not determined or REGULATED or SHAMED by his girlfriend, people on Reddit or mainstream society as a whole.

Him not knowing that the shower would most likely NOT look like a scene out of horror movie is indeed a bit childish and misinformed, lol. But lots of guys don't know this stuff unless they hear it from a woman or learn it first hand through experience as this kinda stuff is NOT covered in sex ed class and might not come up in daily conversations.

He didn't handle this situation in the best way but neither did his girlfriend. He didn't use any tact or situational awareness to communicate his thoughts and she immediately defaulted to a state of insecurity and gaslighting to get her point across.

I personally love and respect women, enjoy having sex and a physical relationship with them and I am empathetic to some of inconveniences of being a woman and I know that a period is a biological process that's essential to our ability to create life. But that still doesn't negate the fact that I'm also extremely turned off by the sight of a bloody vagina. And I'm smart enough to know that period blood is blood mixed with microscopic pieces of flesh (uteral lining...etc) and I just choose to avoid it if I can and I've been blessed to deal with women who understand this and don't judge me because of it.

Nuance is clearly a lost art with folks these days and the self righteousness and entitlement of folks who rush to judge others is an intellectual haphazard at best and flat out toxic is in lots of cases these days. Smh...

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rubiscoisrad t1_isg7obe wrote

I'm a lady with periods, and my husband has a lot of gastric issues. (Basicly, he farts. A LOT.)

We're weird people in our own weird world. I tolerate the flatulence, he grits his teeth and bears it when I empty my cup in the shower.

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150steps t1_ish8pf5 wrote

Dunno why ppl are acting like there would be no blood. Mustn't have heavy ones. He didn't know she used a tampon in the shower.

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Miser-Mike OP t1_ishkq2b wrote

It’s been interesting seeing people cast aspersions.

People with heavy flows exist. With this key bit of context (which isn’t really anyone else’s business) standing in bloody water is all of a sudden very possible.

I didn’t know the tampon was used in the shower, no, but why are folks acting like it couldn’t leak out? At risk of being ‘wrong and strong’ I’ll stand by what I said originally - I’m sure I’ll still be educated by all of the biologists.

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150steps t1_ishteo5 wrote

Vaginas don't need washing out, just the surrounds, so yeah, totally ok to use a tampon. And for the record I don't blame you. I guess the fuck up was communication or lack thereof, if anything.

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FuckingRancid t1_it6c6ma wrote

So people pointed out that you're wrong about some aspects of periods, and your response is "I'll stand by what i said"...

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BlackCherryMagic001 t1_it7zd60 wrote

Do you have any experience with heavy flows..? I change my pads every hour some days and I never ended up standing in red water. A ten minute shower uses up 75+ litres of water. She's only going to produce a couple of drops of blood during that time, no matter how heavy her flow is. Look at the size of a menstrual cup - even for women with heavy flows, that usually lasts hours and it's still far smaller than the water a shower will take.

If your girlfriend is actually bleeding so much the water is constantly red, that sounds more like a huge wound in her vagina/uterus that's bleeding out. Like if she's bleeding that much she's probably dead at this point. Rest in peace?

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HugoToledo_USA t1_isf6h4d wrote

No, my money is private school, specifically religious or homeschooling, which are often the same thing.

Public schools in the US have fewer hangups… unless they have a bunch of religious zealots interfering, which is an increasingly troubling matter in many locales.

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Lady_Blue_Dream t1_iskp8jd wrote

Lol Good_nuff.

Gentlemen: The average amount of blood a woman loses over the course of her cycle is only 86.7ml, or 4.9 tablespoons, which is barely over 1/3 of a cup... although some with abnormally heavy menses will bleed roughly double that amount. It may seem like more because it'll mix with runnier vaginal fluids on its way out. Much less than the perceived amount.

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Figgy20000 t1_isxwggu wrote

Next time I have a nosebleed I'm gonna invite my girl to shower with me in it as well.

Who the fuck cares?

He's completely within his right to not be potentially exposed to someones period blood. Next time I'm gonna wipe my boogers all over my wife as well and tell her she better not be offended by it it's naturally from my body. She's being a whiny baby

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Good_nuff t1_isxz4tl wrote

I wasn’t trying to shame him for not wanting to take a shower with her.

I’m shaming him for thinking there is so much blood that the water changes color.

Big difference.

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Far_Vegetable7105 t1_isf0h69 wrote

Bro there's like 2 seconds of washing the puss out and then it's over. You wouldnt have even been able to tell if she was already mid shower.

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LimoncelloLady t1_isiipkj wrote

I first read "puss" as "pus" and was all set to recommend several doctors to help you sort that out.

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SweetDove t1_isf19ro wrote

As a vagina having person, we spend a lot of our lives being bashed on for our periods, the last place we want to deal with it is from people who are supposed to love us. What if something happened and she needed caring for? I can see how you feel she over reacted, you're not a mind reader, but it's a conversation you need to have now that you've both calmed down.

The fact that you thought you'd be toes deep in red water tells me you need to spend more time talking to your girlfriend. It takes like 4 seconds tops to tidy up down there, especially if she uses tampons.

I won't blame you for the lack of education schools provide to young adults about women.

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KautiousNupe55 t1_isgw9cl wrote

Most women in the comments immediately wrote the dude off as a misogynistic jerk - without a shred of empathy or nuance in their responses.

Neither the parents, nor sex education, nor any science books or any mainstream media tells me how a period looks in the shower. Most men don't know until they hear it first hand OR encounter it with a girlfriend in some way shape or form.

THANK YOU for your comment. Communication is key with these kinds of things and that's hard to have when we IMMEDIATELY write other people off as if we ourselves are ALWAYS RIGHT and we the in and out of EVERYTHING, ALL THE TIME.

The guy came to this reddit thread, humbled with his hat in his hand, admitting guilt and seeking penance - only to be reminded that he should have somehow already known this kinda stuff. Most teenage boys also believe that a period is like a gorey, horror film and are kinda grossed out by it all. But most of us grow to understand it better with time and even when we didn't understand it + we were not out here BASHING women about it. But just keep in mind that not wanting period sex or wanting to shower with a spouse during her menstrual cycle is not synonymous with not understanding a period or penalizing a women because of it --- sometimes it's just a matter of PERSONAL CHOICE.

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Ktulu789 t1_isf6utc wrote

I don't think that needs to be educated. I mean, basic communication fixes it. This guy is weird, anyway xD

I don't have a vagina but I have a brain and really thinking that blood will be all over the place while showering is silly 🤣

This post made my day, anyway 😅

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Squigglepig52 t1_isfmdn3 wrote

"What if something happened?"

Like, what? Ninjas? Soap in her eyes? I mean, if she slipped and fell, he would hear her, right?

I mean, he told her he didn't have an issue with her having her period, AND he pointed out he was tired and buzzed, and just wanted to lay there. the bloody water part was like, the last, least item.

GF just wanted to be pissy about something. I mean, you're allowed to not want to share a shower without being some kind of regressive male beast.

Also, based on the number of times Reddit has post about women having an unexpected "gusher" and octaclots, that whole "4 seconds, no issue" seems contrary to what you actually experience.

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standarduser2 t1_isjykl2 wrote

He is a horrible person for being too tired to shower.

What if one day he is too tired for sex!?

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Ktulu789 t1_isf63pk wrote

Man! Did you ever cut your finger and took a shower?? Cause if you did, that's about all the blood you'll see. It will be diluted in many many liters of water. You won't see it.

It's not like she's losing two liters of blood every month, dude. BTW, I'm a guy and I shower any time with my girl 😃

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urmumleftfoot t1_isfk927 wrote

I can tell ur a dude u barely see any blood even when washing down there u only see blood if ur on a HEAVY period if ur on a light one there’s liek no blood at all

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KautiousNupe55 t1_isgm75y wrote

But you can only speak for YOUR BODY and YOUR PERIOD from YOUR EXPERIENCE. Why project your perspective onto others who have their own set of perspectives, experiences and realities. I think that getting into a swimming pool when you KNOW BEFOREHAND that you're on your period is inconsiderate, selfish and flat out unsanitary. The strangers at the pool don't know that they and their kids are swimming around in your vaginal discharge and bodily waste no matter how watered down it is. I ain't tryna shame you for your take but please try and refrain from taking the moral high ground in discussions like this...smh.

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Michutterbug t1_ish9drq wrote

News flash: women produce vaginal discharge every day, so I guess if you’ve ever swam with a woman, you’ve swam in diluted discharge. And as long as you are wearing a tampon, it’s perfectly sanitary go swimming while on your period. I mean as sanitary as anything else in a public pool.

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KautiousNupe55 t1_isi8c25 wrote

Are you the kind of parent who would be OK with your children pissing or deficating in a public pool full of other people because there's enough water in the pool to dilute everything so it's not easily noticable? Does your "Dilution Discharge Theory' make this OK?

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Michutterbug t1_isjb8wn wrote

I don’t have a “dilution discharge theory.” I’m just saying when you go swimming you are already swimming in a tiny bit of others people’s funk. If you wear a tampon it keeps the blood in. If you are leaking through or around your tampon don’t go swimming in a pool!

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Michutterbug t1_isjq73t wrote

Also, related, if you don’t already know this, swim diapers are just diapers that are not absorbent, so they hold in poop, but pee goes right through them. So while I would never allow my potty trained child to pee in a pool, babies do it all the time. I also watched a science show one time about how the “chlorine smell” of pools is not just from chlorine, but from the chemical reaction of chlorine with urine. Pretty gross to think about, but I’m not a germaphobe, so I don’t generally have a problem with public pools, but I know plenty of people who do. But, then again I’m more of a take a dip without getting my face or hair wet kind of swimmer when it comes to pools.

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FuckThisHobby t1_ism9k04 wrote

Wait, are we all pretending we as fully grown adults don't pee in pools?

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BlackCherryMagic001 t1_it7znma wrote

Are you saying that women shouldn't be allowed in pools whatsoever? What even is your argument?

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KautiousNupe55 t1_isi8y7p wrote

If I was a Cosmetic Chemist who worked in a lab formulating cosmetic products, and I accidentally bled into a large vat of a cosmetic product OR I sneezed and a large glob of mucus fell in OR if I misplaced my hairnet and large clumps of hair fell in...would you be OK with still bringing this batch of products to market? Blood, Mucous and Hair discharging, shedding or vacating the body are all NATURAL and the chemist should NOT be shamed for being HUMAN, does your 'Diluted Discharge Theory'' still apply?

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Com_BEPFA t1_isj8kwm wrote

Okay, so the difference is, and hear me out about that one, that you're meant to swim in a pool. No matter what, you swim in it and some minuscule amount of bodily fluids ends up in it. It's expected and it's what chlorine is there for.

Now, and this will shock you, you're NOT meant to rub yourself in cosmetic product you're producing. I know, it's shocking.

Am I advocating for everyone to use the public pool at any time? Hell no, if you are sick, stay the fuck out. If you have diarrhea, stay the fuck out. If you use tampons (or a cup or pads) and don't stain your underwear on your period, go ahead. If you do leak, please be considerate and avoid the pool on those couple days.

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CowBoyDanIndie t1_issxeru wrote

A lot of people out there don't seem to realize you sweat and shed dead skin when you are swimming. Showering before obviously reduces the amount of dirt you add to the pool, but its still there. Urine and sweat are very similar.

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KautiousNupe55 t1_isi7ztf wrote

If I was a chef who cut my finger while preparing a large pot of gumbo or soup and a few drops of blood dropped into the pot - Is it ok to still serve this food to my customers?? It's totally natural to bleed when people cut themselves, so does your 'dilution discharge theory' still apply?

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BlackCherryMagic001 t1_it7wsqo wrote

Do you get on your knees and lick up water from the floor of the shower? If you don't, your analogy is really dumb.

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urmumleftfoot t1_isil5o0 wrote

Hun i never once said anything about going into a swimming pool. I never swim when on my period cuz I PERSONALLY don't want to that that risk and I also find it unsanitary. Also I'm not only talking about my body it's basic knowledge how the human body works and if you look at all the other comments you would see all the WOMEN are saying the exact same thing.

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Whatislife287 t1_isf9pg7 wrote

You sounds like a dude I wouldn’t wanna date or be friends with. She probably wanted you to shower with her so you could have mess free sex.

Learn about periods. You don’t stand in a puddle of red🙄 if you have sec maybe a little will come out but who actually cares.

Don’t make your gf feel like crap because your a uneducated and ignorant

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KautiousNupe55 t1_isgqmor wrote

For some guys and gals - the best way to have "mess free sex" is simply to wait until the period has come and gone and the vaginal walls, utereal lining and everything else has been refreshed. Sounds misogynistic - but we're talking 4th grade BIOLOGICAL FACTS here ladies and gentlemen.

Stop telling people that they should grow up and 'put down towels' or result to 'shower sex' because that's the best way to show your woman that you care. Should the guy make his woman feel bad for having a period on vacation or immediately get defensive if she notices his hesitation for a joint shower during her menstrual cycle?? Of course not!! But in the same vain of being empathetic humans who don't put our perspectives, needs or wants above those of others, she should also NOT make him feel bad if he has his own preferences in these kinds of situations. The guy most certainly should have used more tact and grace in regard to how he communicated with his lady in this situation. He is also probably expected to know that most period days for women aren't gorey, blood soaked horror scenes like LOTS of young boys think they are when we first learn about the fact that the vagina bleeds several days a month and women have to wear garments or devices or make different accommodations for a few days a month to catch and capture the blood.

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Squigglepig52 t1_isfn11j wrote

And he wasn't in the mood for a shared shower. Guys are allowed to not want to have sex, or to not get the hint.

I mean, personally? Sex or not, I'd turn down that experience. Shower sex isn't fun, and for me, neither is sharing a shower or tub.

Seems like a double standard to be angry because dude wasn't thinking about sex on demand.

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Kat1eQueen t1_isfp7vd wrote

> I do admit I had a flash-forward of standing in reddish water and not being happy about that also though.

OP literally said this, he clearly has no fucking clue how periods work and it heavily looks like he is disgusted by normal shit. Also the person you replied to mentioned that sex might have been a possibility on the side, yet you somehow made your entire comment based solely on that.

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Squigglepig52 t1_isfyq1e wrote

dude's squeamishness was the last thing he mentioned, and it was what he said at teh end of his GF giving him shit. Yet, somehow, you avoid the fact she was angry before he said a word, and make it all about the blood.

She was angry when she came out, she "had one in the clip". That's what you overlook,because "omg, guys just don't get it!"

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KautiousNupe55 t1_isi5dbj wrote

You're using way too much logic in your comments Squiggle. That's why all of your comments are being down voted, smh. Kudos to you for keeping it respectful and on topic and for not taking the bate of the strawman arguments being lobbed at you.

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Whatislife287 t1_isg19gj wrote

I’m sure she was angry beforehand and he just was too into himself to notice.

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Squigglepig52 t1_isg1whd wrote

Based on what, exactly?

they are on a lovely vacation, they just went out, had a nice time, and some drinks. Why would she be angry before?

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Whatislife287 t1_isg13u4 wrote

It’s all about communication. He could have expressed that he didn’t want to have sex or take a mutual shower , but instead he made a big deal about a natural bodily function that you cannot control or get rid of and made someone he’s supposed to love feel like shit. He literally said this in his post.

−1

Squigglepig52 t1_isg2l56 wrote

He literally said "nah", which is a clear refusal.

Then, she came out angry, and claimed it was because of her period - and he literally told her it wasn't the issue.

He didn't actually tell her he didn't want to stand in bloody water, he had a mental image of it. So, he actually did the opposite of making a big deal, he actually said it's not the issue.

It's amazing the contortions you'll do to make this his fault, as opposed to just saying "Dude, she's on her period and cranky. Do what she asks or she'll get pissy"

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Whatislife287 t1_isg5e5j wrote

Tell me you don’t know how women work without telling me you don’t know how women work😂 you literally just said she’ll get pissy because of her period and to just go along with what she wants lol - because that’s healthy

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Squigglepig52 t1_isgmd1r wrote

You should probably learn to read a bit better.

I said that what it seems like you really want to say to the OP. Cater to her because she's on her period.

I never said it's healthy, but it's the only way the OP wasn't going to get shit on in this exchange.

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redwolf587 t1_ishewl6 wrote

If that was the case the title of this TIFU would be "my girlfriend MISUNDERSTOOD why I didn't want to take a shower " not use a lame emoji to reference periods. He's immature.

He's made it clear in this post that he's grossed out (or uneducated) by it.

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Appropriate_Cycle_47 t1_isg1ue3 wrote

I wouldn't want to date or be friends with you either so.... uhh... yea, have a good day

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AcrobaticSource3 t1_isfipkp wrote

> space to sort out womanly shit

She was showering, not doing high level math equations, yeah you FU

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casualbully t1_isf5zm1 wrote

If this was an AITA post, you'd be the asshole.

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pinkzebraprintbikini t1_iskpuit wrote

Why ? Coz he said no to showering with her. If it was the other way round and the girl said no. Everybody would be screaming abuse leave him posts.

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casualbully t1_iskr858 wrote

Simply because of his ignorance. Standing in "red water"? He's allowed his choice to shower or not shower but it's common knowledge that period blood is not that much, about a couple tablespoons.

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redwolf587 t1_isf1gh1 wrote

Periods make women really emotional, they can even make you bloated or feel unattractive, you basically shot her down over something she has no control over. Also you have no idea how periods work (when it comes to showering?? Do you just think it's a constant river???) If you don't know, ask her (and be polite) women appreciate when men take the time to learn about periods.

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Squigglepig52 t1_isfnh9o wrote

He didn't shoot her down, though. He was semi-drunk and tired, and just wanted to lie on the bed.

It wasn't until she came out after the shower and picked a fight that he made the red water comment.

And, considering the sheer number of "educating men 'bout periods" posts that go on about unexpected flowers and gushers and clots...I can't blame somebody for having the thought he did.

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hardolaf t1_it3avt6 wrote

> that he made the red water comment.

He never made the red water comment. He thought it but did not say it.

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tubatitan88 t1_isf66gn wrote

You Are the Asshole….wait….wrong sub. You actually fucked up by posting here how much of a blissfully ignorant misogynist you are.

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skippy512 t1_isflbap wrote

<see's one post from one person> <judges their entire life from it and has a mental health meltdown>

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thrwaway9932 t1_isfb1fu wrote

I'd blame this on parents, both yours and hers. Yours for not educating you that women are always equally human as men, and don't become less so from having a period. Hers for not educating her that she shouldn't date misogynists like you.

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KautiousNupe55 t1_isgu95o wrote

Wait, so him not wanting to shower with her during her menstrual cycle = him thinking she's less of a human?!?!?! 🤔

Using your logic, if she said that she wouldn't want to shower with him after a long day of playing rugby because she was grossed out when she has to watch him pull back the skin of his uncircumcised penis to clear out the smegma in the shower = her thinking he's less of a human.

Her not liking him with a mouth full of crooked teeth = her thinking he's less of a human.

Her not liking him because he's 5'0 and weighs 300 pounds is = her thinking he's less of a human.

Her having any physical, religious, ethnographic or personal preferences whatsoever in regard to which men she chooses to date and how she chooses to interact with them physically, socially, sexually or personally is = her doubting the validity of their humanity?!?!

Why default to such narrow-minded, melodramatic diatribes to get your point across?? Why default to accusations of misogynism when the guy could just simply be a bit ignorant and uniformed with this kind of stuff.

Why result in blaming the parents of these two young people when you've clearly never met or interacted with either of them ever in person??

Do you feel better about yourself when you tell other people that they ain't shit, their own lived experiences and perspectives ain't shit and their parents ain't shit - when they come to a reddit page focused on admitting guilt or a misunderstanding or mishandling of a situation when they're clearly seeking penance?!?!

😵‍💫😩😵‍💫😩

😩😵‍💫😩😵‍💫

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Chemical-Hawk3835 t1_iswvazd wrote

Him saying that he "just wanted to give her her space to sort out womanly shit" is essentially saying he is clueless and uncomfortable (which is partially fine), but he is also saying he doesn't want to learn more or do better, or just have a supportive conversation about how some physiological functions make him uncomfortable (which is where it crisses over to not fine). That's where the "less than" idea comes from. "Womanly shit" is beneath him.

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KautiousNupe55 t1_isxpnpe wrote

When she asked him to join her in the shower shower and he said Nah, that should have been the end to it. The guy was tipsy and on the verge of passing out from the cocktails they had earlier.

But it wasn't the end of it. She took the rest of her shower to sulk in her insecurity and maybe her own frustrations about getting her period on this exotic vacation and the scene was being set for some kind of confrontation.

He did not say the "he wanted to give her space to sort out womanly shit" until much further in the conversation and it's clear that you have no interest in all the other problematic shit that took place up until that point.

He never said that he had a problem with the "physiological function" of a woman having a period. He simply communicated (in not the most ideal terms or tone as I have acknowledged) that he wasn't enthusiastic about joining her in the shower while she's on her menstrual cycle. You can try and womansplain a period (only woman understand it) or assuage the biological reality of menstrual cycle by referring to it as a physiological process (true but I can see what you're doing) or we can talk about period blood being biological waste just like urine, bowels, smegma, and not conflate people not wanting to interact with another person's human waste as that person not acknowledging another person's humanity.

If he does not want to join her in the shower because he's tired and tipsy OR because he doesn't feel comfortable with the thought of standing in bloody water OR simply because he just doesn't fucking feel like it, that should be OK.

You don't seem to acknowledge or even care about her narcissistic tone nor her hyperbolic sense of entitlement.

You don't seem to acknowledge her manipulative nature and her using the 'tampon whole swimming' trope as textbook gaslighting.

You don't seem to even acknowledge the guy's humanity or his right to have wants/needs/preferences irrespective to a woman's wants/needs/preferences

The brazen levels of cognitive dissonance in these comments is exhausting....😩😫

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Chemical-Hawk3835 t1_isxvog5 wrote

I did not say that he said that to her at the begining. I agree, him saying "nah" should be enough. If she was feeling insecure she should have asked questions instead of getting butt hurt. But he admitted his true thoughts to us with the comment I quoted. And he does need to do a lot of maturing, just like she does. Both are wrong, but only he posted. So I only commented about his issue. Your comment that "You can try and womansplain a period (only woman understand it)" assumes I am a woman. And also infers that women don't understand things that need to be mansplained. Interesting and telling. And you point at others for cognitive dissonance and how they are exhausting 🤣

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TheZamolxes t1_it0fumk wrote

I don't have a dog in this fight but I just wanted to say you're incredibly well spoken.

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thrwaway9932 t1_ish0s2n wrote

Such a long comment 🤓 totally missed my point.

−2

KautiousNupe55 t1_isi4g59 wrote

Oh no - I understood your point CLEARLY. The interesting part is that your comment didn't articulate the point that you THOUGHT you were making.

Text book Reductio ad absurdum fallacy.

I too would look for the emergency exit or default to gaslighting if the foundation of my argument was built upon blatant strawman arguments.

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thrwaway9932 t1_isk5wz8 wrote

Do you feel better now that you have apparently demonstrated your smartness in logical fallacies to the internet?

−4

tidolahoia t1_isf6c1v wrote

Should've just pretended to be asleep dude, or just tell her you were tired. Keep the red water comment to yourself lol

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thrwaway9932 t1_isfaj1d wrote

Yeah he could have done this and escaped, but no, "honesty is the best policy" lol

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Upset_Taste_9309 t1_isgl9sk wrote

Reddish water…? 🙄 I guess we shouldn’t expect you to know much about periods if you’ve never had one BUT- if a woman invited you to shower with her she probably doesn’t need space “to sort out womanly shit”.

(What does that even mean?)

Ya you f””ked up. And if she sees this this post you’ll be digging a deeper hole. Just fyi

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Glittering-Song9908 t1_isfntz7 wrote

dude she didn’t ask you to wash all the blood clots out of her😭😭

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hi_hola_salut t1_isf66es wrote

I think she overreacted. He doesn’t have to join her in the shower if he doesn’t want to - period or no period. Personally it’s not my thing, I want peace and space to wash myself! I don’t think think this is truly period shaming, as he’s allowed to decline an invite to join her in the shower if he doesn’t want to, just like she is allowed to decline the same invite if he made it. I kinda feel she is feeling hormonal and making a bigger deal out of this than she needs to be, but my god, don’t say that to her if you have any sense whatsoever!!

For clarity, I’m an older woman who’s had my fair share of periods!

2

SnowflakeSociopath t1_isib026 wrote

Down voted 🤷‍♂️

No on should be forced to do anything they are uncomfortable with. If there is a misunderstanding the fu is not talking about it

Everyone can say no to a shower and definitely no to sex.

5

hi_hola_salut t1_isijlx8 wrote

Exactly the point I was trying to make. Why did he have to? He said he was drunk and lying down, so likely couldn’t be bothered. If he’d had a few too many cocktails, it a fair assumption that she had also been drinking, and that affected how they both felt and reacted. But it really is a mountain out of a molehill.

If it had been a woman who refused to join her bf in the shower, only to get him visibly sulking afterwards, with the argument that she made him feel bad for being a man - well, everyone would be telling her to leave / divorce him, and there’d be red flags everywhere.

Consent goes both ways people! Nobody should be forced to do something they don’t want to just to please their partner, and their partner shouldn’t sulk and accuse like that afterwards. People must be so hung up on the notion that this was period shaming that they’ve forgotten about consent. They’ve lost sight of the bigger picture. She was using ‘period shaming’ to shame him for not doing what she wanted, and using it as her excuse for acting all offended.

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No-Cheesecake-1034 t1_isf9wv1 wrote

Man up and get your RED WINGS...What's wrong with you?

2

3bag t1_isizy9b wrote

Give her extra cuddles and chocolate. Periods are horrible.

Let her know you don't think her body is anything but beautiful, you were just giving her privacy and didn't mean to upset her.

2

EitherSuspect256 t1_isf4ims wrote

Why is he being bashed for not joining her in the shower ? He states he’d been drinking and was falling to sleep

I’m female but I wouldn’t be angry or emotional if I heard Nah Yeah he made a stupid comment about standing in reddish water but so what ! Being on your period doesn’t excuse you for moaning and expecting men to jump to attention just because you are

1

bunh3s t1_isf8708 wrote

oh hell nah not the "pick me" behaviour, no man will praise you for siding with OP homie

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Squigglepig52 t1_isfns68 wrote

I will.

She's right - dude turned the shower down because he was tired and drunk. GF came out pissy, and picked a fight.

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I_Thot_So t1_isg4fny wrote

Are you OP? You’ve responded to almost every comment calling OP out.

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Squigglepig52 t1_isgmn0f wrote

Sure, if by "all the comments" you mean a half dozen out of 50 or 60 comments.

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EitherSuspect256 t1_ishmol2 wrote

What makes you think I want praise from a man or anyone ?

I was curious to why him not showering with her on her period was a reason to tell him he was insensitive to her needs etc everyone would be shouting red flag behaviour if a man became emotional because a women didn’t jump at the chance to join him in the shower after he asked

1

bunh3s t1_isho02r wrote

bruh do men get periods? exactly. its about the shame being a woman some girls feel alright, if men were in women's place then no one would jump them please sit down theyre neither oppressed nor struggling because of their very own assigned gender at birth

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hi_hola_salut t1_isil4d4 wrote

OMG, I’m a woman, and your man turning down a shower with you is NOT oppressing you! He is allowed to say yes or no as he wished. That’s called consent. He doesn’t have to do whatever she wants. He didn’t tell her she was disgusting, he just said Nah, and she came out sulking and looking for a fight. And let’s be real here - sometimes when we’re on our periods we like to pick fights. We feel irrationally irritated AF about things that might normally only be a mild irritation. You cannot remove a person’s right to choose just because their female partner is on her period!

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KautiousNupe55 t1_isi7820 wrote

I'll support and praise her!. Why? Because I agree with her logical assessment of the situation and I like that she's unapologetically a woman with her own thoughts even if they don't fit into YOUR narrative of how a woman should feel or think on topics pertaining to gender. Pick Me" accusations are often lobbied by people who don't have the intellectual fitness to form their own prose or can't form logical rebuttals to other people's well thought out arguments.

0

thrwaway9932 t1_isfbtlx wrote

Well yeah sure the woman might have been overreacting if she thought he refused because she's having a period.

But he confirmed it to her that she's right. So he's a dickhead who just made her feel dirty and filthy, unworthy of his holy presence in the bath. So many women feel ashamed about having periods, but here's one who didn't until the jerk reminded her that she should.

You still want to side with OP?

5

EitherSuspect256 t1_ishnpjt wrote

Calm down there thrwaway9932 is it your time of the month? (tongue in cheek)

I asked why he was being bashed

I didn’t call any one names or say I agreed with op ,I don’t really care that much to pick sides

0

skippy512 t1_isflhzi wrote

Ah yes, welcome to the minority of redditors who don't over-react to anything.

−4

pinkzebraprintbikini t1_iskpkmf wrote

I don't even like showering when I'm on my own period for that exact reason. Its heavy. I get blood splatter all over and I have 2 days a month I feel like I'm reenacting the " shower scene from Carrie"

1

forgetfulkaiju t1_isqfgdb wrote

Lmao my dude you should've just said you were drunk and on the verge of passing out, and that it wasn't about period her at all. Why the heck did you get into an excavator and start digging that hole deeper?

1

Ocean_Spice t1_isrjvlh wrote

>standing in reddish water

Lol bro, what?? That’s not how this works.

1

[deleted] t1_ish8lrr wrote

[deleted]

0

hi_hola_salut t1_isild0v wrote

People are allowed to have personal preferences! I don’t want to have sex on my period. Why am I allowed to make that choice, but a man HAS to have sex with a woman on her period if he wants to or not? Consent works both ways. He doesn’t have to do anything.

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KautiousNupe55 t1_isi4vzn wrote

That's sounds like something thing Jeffrey Dahmer would say..... I'm just saying ... 🤷🏽‍♂️

1

BornDifference1216 t1_isf90uh wrote

You did nothing wrong, if you don't want to take a shower with her I don't see why you should justify yourself, period or no. And everyone saying that you're an AH or whatever isn't rational

−1

redwolf587 t1_isfbyd3 wrote

Except based on how he's typing (ex. Pictured himself standing in bloody water, "not happy about it", "womanly shit", and he knew she was upset about getting her period) it's clear he's somewhat repulsed by periods (or at the very least uneducated). He needs to grow up or at least communicate with his gf properly.

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BornDifference1216 t1_isfccq6 wrote

Still doesn't justify his gf's reaction. He literally just said " Nah " in the actual situation. She's the one who overreacted

2

Ripmysanity95 t1_isgijdy wrote

Dude I’ll literally go down on my girl while she’s on her period, like cmon

−3

skippy512 t1_isfl7d9 wrote

A lotta green haired crew cuts going in at you here brother, I'd just apologise to your partner and learn better for next time but clearly, some of these people want your head on a stake and think you're good for nothing haha - obviously none of them have ever been wrong about anything gif

−4

[deleted] t1_isf13cq wrote

[deleted]

−10

eugenesbluegenes t1_isf240i wrote

But... she called out for him to join her.

What kinda logic is it to hear that and then assume that she wants privacy?

20

Reviewingremy t1_isezvzz wrote

You didn't fuck up. Your gf has decided to read into things that don't exist and overreact. That's on her not you.

−19

BornDifference1216 t1_isf8npc wrote

I don't get why everyone is on his ass, he literally said that he was on the verge on passing out like wtf, he didn't say a thing about her period, he just said " Nah ". I don't get why everyone is against him. Yes he said he had THOUGHTS but his GF didn't know anything about that, she literally just overreacted for nothing

7