I thought protocol was to loudly scream “Oh god you’re puking!?” And then puke louder.

You know, to drown out the sound of their puking.

The first and only time I was ever drunk I was being driven home by a friend, my wife was in the back with my friends wife, and I had the state of mind to tell them I needed to throw up. He pulled over into a fast food parking lot, and I climbed out into the grass and started throwing up.

My friend Mike, who was driving gets out, and starts running his fingers through my hair telling me I'll be okay and that I'll feel better once it's all out.

That's the only thing I remember about that night, and it was the safest I felt in a weird and foreign situation I was in.