I did something similar too(but it was a friend with an asthma attack) and they reacted pretty much the same way your friend. So don’t beat yourself up, they probably didn’t mind it, especially because you offered help and showed you cared instead of just walking away. Maybe to not have that kinda guilt feeling, you could ask them if it happens again, what you could do to help beforehand. As someone who went through something similar I hope this helps :)

Nah. They probably were in no condition to speak back to you. Also, if they are like me, they prefer to not have people around when they puke. What could you have done, hold their hair? Dont beat yourself up over this.

Was probably way more embarrassing for them than you . Besides, a puke on a run is common. They’re just not in shape.

That look would have been the "leave now" look, you did nothing wrong.

What were you supposed to do differently in hindsight?

Just tell them what you said here, that you feel bad for leaving but wasn't sure what to do at that time, and hope they are okay now.

Well you handled it better than I would've, that is running away shrieking at the top of my lungs before having a massive panic attack

Same…emetophobia is a bitch

For a non native English speaker, this whole pronouns shenanigans is messing with my head.

They asked you something casually later because they weren’t upset at you at all. Because you didn’t do anything wrong. The kid was puking. Unless blood was coming out, what would the issue be?

Nothing like a good hard puke.

Uhhh? Your only fuck up is ignoring someone talking to you in a friendly way. Next time just ask them to repeat themselves and don't run off.

Speak to them tomorrow and explain you were going to coach to get help and that you reflected tonight and though about how it may have looked like you were leaving them, but that it wasn’t your intention.

Let me tell you something as a guy with ASD. You didn't do anything wrong. Most people would rather be alone when they puke, so nothing was wrong there. It was the fact that you just kept thinking about it that was wrong. Don't think too hard about these types of things, they bring you down to the ground. Also, your friend probably forgot about it anyway. It's no big deal.

Edit: and one more thing, look up some videos on common body language, that helped me a lot.

Unless you had water and a clean towel with you, you did all you could. Life will be full of moments like this. Sometimes you can help but not always. You passed the test: you were willing to get involved

People are honestly really understanding of those who prefer not to watch someone vomit. They don’t expect you to stay and watch cause they think it’s gross too. They probably weren’t thinking about something like you not getting help. They were probably a little preoccupied. And like you said, someone was walking back there anyway. You asked if they were okay, and that was probably as much as anyone could do for someone if they were vomiting in front of them. I’d say you’re good, and it’s not like it was an emergency situation

The person vomiting is the one that didn’t respond.

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This unlocked an old memory in my mind, I once vomited in front of a kid with ASD at an after school tutoring thing and he just walked away and I thought the whole thing was pretty funny

No you didn't. The fact that you stopped, offered to get aid for them, and made sure they were with the class is plenty.

They aren't upset.

I'm talking about this bit

>Later at the end of the school day they stopped me and asked me something casually as if nothing happened, I felt awkward and didn’t hear them so I just said no before going home.

I believe they're referring to this line at the end.

>Later at the end of the school day they stopped me and asked me something casually as if nothing happened, I felt awkward and didn’t hear them so I just said no before going home.

SAME.

I started having minor panic attacks on the subway because i was convinced someone near me was about to puke—often with no reason other than they shifted their weight or leaned forward like a totally normal person.

Thank the gods for my anti-anxiety meds. I finally got a handle on that.

Not much you can do, except what you did. You're fine.

And let’s not pretend that’s not entirely out of the ordinary either. XD

I can’t count how many times I didn’t properly hear something someone said, inadvertently gave a nonsense answer and just left.

Talk to them about it. Express what you’re feeling. I’m willing to bet they are not upset at all, and if they are it will clear it up and deepen the friendship

Same here. Currently white knuckling a hefty panic. Props for reading this thread. :)

I’m severely emetophobic so I would have avoided them at all cost and tried to stave off a panic attack.

If they acted like nothing happened, I would proceed like nothing happened. They were probably kind of embarrassed about it, but maybe also quietly appreciative of the fact that you stopped to check on them.

If they want to act like it's no big deal and nothing happened, I would just roll with it.

What in the fuck in wrong with you

I would've tried to make myself boot, too, that way I can go home sick. "Bad food in the cafeteria"...

I worry a lot about public transportation if I were to ever move to NYC. I’ve heard some horror stories (for emetophobes anyway) that would absolutely send me into a tailspin. What meds do you use if you don’t mind my asking?

Just tell them you’d have helped but have a sympathetic gag reflex, and then it would have been two people kneeling there vomiting.

Fuck, dude, I was on a choppy ferry ride the other day going out to an island and nearly lost my shit. I was feeling way less anxious on the way back, I was so proud of myself, and then the guy in front of me leaned forward to grab something and I got a spike of anxiety so bad it physically hurt.

Honestly, I don't think you did anything wrong. They were probably embarrassed and glad you left them to it without causing a fuss. Don't feel bad :)

You didn’t do anything wrong. Personally, I like to vomit in private.

If you talk to them pretty regularly I’d just throw out a casual “sorry about yesterday” no need to explain yourself or apologize for not being their nurse If they came up to you normally already. Don’t let 2 awkward interactions ruin the rest of your friendship

Nobody did anything wrong and nothing bad happened. Mods?

Odd that you'd admit that...

I suggest a heimlich maneuver to make it finish faster.

I feel like 30% of people would walk away just to avoid throwing up themselves lol

I would have steered clear because I would have started to throw up. Youre good

Not in-shape, ate spaghetti, drank milk, too much water, pushed themselves really hard, there's SO many reasons to puke from a run it really blows my mind. It's also one of the many reasons my fatass refuses to run anymore! But mainly from just being lazy.

Usually vomiting makes you feel better, and school aged individuals usually don’t have heart attacks from physical activity. They were probably just relieved to be done puking and done running.

Ehh, I rather not have someone watch me puke and I would make the effort to get out someone sight if I have the urge….

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They are way more mortified than you are, I bet! And they were trying to act like 'nothing happened' because that's what they want to pretend. In other words, you're good! Just don't sweat this, other than to maybe ask them if they're feeling alright.

A good sympathetic puke is always appreciated, even if you can only muster a dry-heave.

Sorry what is ASD?

Sometimes things are just a big deal in our own mind. To them it's most likely the case that they are not actin, but that actually "nothing happened". So don't worry.

Edit: Also the fact that you cared and stopped and went to see if they are alright is the important part. If they really were feeling awful, they would have probably said something. So it's most likely the opposite and they appreciated it.

Get a container and store it for later. No food waste!

Puking can be a sign you're really out of shape or really in shape. When you're really in shape you can push yourself so hard you're body responds negatively. When I used to race track (bicycles) you had the puking trash can in the infield for tough training sessions.

Autism Spectrum Disorder

What did you fuck up? Seems like the persons still friends with you. No need to be so down on yourself the grass is so green

Tell the fucking coach you twit? Could have just been running pukes, but also could have been ANYTHING. If she couldnt even shake her head yes or no, help should have been called regardless.

Maybe it's because I also have ASD, but, like, I don't see what you did wrong there.

People throw up. Sounds like they tried talking to you normally cause they were embarrassed. Don’t make a big deal about it, they’ll will appreciate it

Off-topic but you guys march french horns? Ours always marched mellos instead because of the bell direction and they don't waver in tone as much while moving around. Marching with a French horn sounds hard.

No you didn't.

If anyone asks, you have emetophobia.

In all fairness, it sounds like that was the plan until they saw the person was alright

I can tell you that when I vomit, I won’t let ANYONE else be near me. Not even my husband, who I’ve been married to for 20 years. I hate throwing up and I don’t want anyone to see me doing it.

Your friend may have been both miserable from nausea and embarrassed to be vomiting in public. You did all you could do by stopping, supporting them, and asking them if they were okay. If they did not give you feedback, it’s all right. It’s okay that you moved along. That may be what they wanted most.

Don’t beat yourself up. You’re a good human who did all you could to try and help.

Say you're sorry and you're glad they're feeling better. Then go on with them like normal.

Source: Am also Autistic, I figured this one out.

I thought protocol was to loudly scream “Oh god you’re puking!?” And then puke louder.

You know, to drown out the sound of their puking.

Exactly this. Also, when you see them tomorrow ask them if they are feeling better.

Be kind. Be cool. Done and done.

You asked them if they needed help, you didn't fuck up! I hate being sick, I always want to be left alone. There's nothing more you could have done.

And if they're anything like me, the world kinda goes to mush and my ears start ringing, blood rushing, can't hear shit. They probably couldn't understand a word being said lol

Lol no fuck up here. We laugh when freinds get hurt or simply walk away it’s normal

This wasn't worth posting bro

The first and only time I was ever drunk I was being driven home by a friend, my wife was in the back with my friends wife, and I had the state of mind to tell them I needed to throw up. He pulled over into a fast food parking lot, and I climbed out into the grass and started throwing up.

My friend Mike, who was driving gets out, and starts running his fingers through my hair telling me I'll be okay and that I'll feel better once it's all out.

That's the only thing I remember about that night, and it was the safest I felt in a weird and foreign situation I was in.

Just ask them to bring you some water please. That way you can get rid of puke mouth immediately after finishing or at least stopped puking.

At least that's what I would like to have a helping hand for.

I'm in medium shape and I pushed myself to puking once trying to get a 5k PB

Mate, don't sweat it. They were obviously alright afterwards, and its not like you ignored them on the side of the track. The simple fact you checked in makes it all good :-]

I was gonna say, the guy more than likely was trying to convey 'nah, I'm good, just pukin here for a min no big catcha later' and was also probably embarrassed as shit. But that got-dang non-verbal!

I played basketball in high school, which comes with a great deal of running obviously. The only time I puked running was when we had a scheduled half day at school so we all grabbed some fast food before practice. I couldn’t eat at that place for years. But yeah it doesn’t necessarily mean out of shape. Where I live, it’s still fairly warm out, maybe they got overheated

I hope your comment was meant as a joke.

yep i was gonna type that too but had already hit send lol

The worse is when they start gagging too, and then you all are throwing the fuck up. I don’t see anything wrong that OP did.

Omg, I was on the NYC to Martha’s Vineyard high speed ferry the day after a storm and it was HELL. People were getting sick EVERYWHERE. I had to find a seat outside staring straight at the ocean and pretend I was alone.

I’ve lived here 20 years and I’ve only ever actually seen it happen twice (and once was my now-husband… he’s lucky he’s cute cuz that shit traumatized me)…

I take Cymbalta, and it’s been good for me. I definitely no longer feel like I’m gonna leap out of my skin if someone looks a little queasy.

Srs, they were likely waiting for you to leave so they could continue puking - they just weren't able to hold it and be able to communicate it to you at the same time.

Thank u ☺️