Listen, i think you're very brave for telling her about it. Now you're panicking, which is understandable, because you don't know what comes next. But your teacher sounds like a good person, I'm sure they will do everything in their power to help you. I think this might be the starting point for a process that will do you good!

Appreciate that what she is doing is in your best interest. You can still give her little gifts. In fact she may appreciate them as a sign that you are not upset with her reporting the SA, and that you understand that ethically, she has to report it.

Just as you would like her to understand how you feel; look at this from her perspective and try to understand how she may feel.

Ethics aside, she's likely a mandatory reporter, and legally had no choice but to report it.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can’t imagine what it feels like, and I’m sure it is scary to have this be in front of your family and community now. But I am confident you will persevere through it. You did nothing wrong here IMO. I think telling someone in a position to help was the right call. Your teacher sounds like a good natured person who is just trying to help. I’m sure they will understand. This is part of the process to healing. Good luck OP, we are all pulling for you and proud of you. You have the strength to fight through this and come out stronger on the other side !

Exactly what I meant

thankyou so much, it feels so good to have people not point out that i made the same mistake twice and rather support me. thankyou.

yes, she will loose her job if she doesn’t report it.

i would never be mad, she’s an amazing person/teacher and everyone in the school loves her, at the end of the day, it was my mistake, and yes, she had no choice but to report it again unfortunately. thankyou!

No mistake in reaching out. I wish you all the best!

thankyou dearly, this means the world to me. thankyou.

You have no need to feel remorse or shame for sharing that with your teacher. One of the reasons teachers are mandated reporters is because students will often trust them with things too big to deal with on their own. It's not inappropriate to talk to them about something terrible that happened to you. You did the right thing to speak up to someone you trust, and they have done the right thing by reporting it so that the authorities can make sure that you are safe and have the resources you need to work through this.

I experienced sexual assault as a child and I wish I'd been as brave as you were in speaking up. I kept quiet, and I regret it. You have ruined nothing with this teacher, who clearly means a lot to you. I have no doubt that she is pleased you felt you could trust her enough to tell her what was going on with you.

Telling her was not a mistake.

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Nobody wants to make that report. Especially when it's about someone you care about. We all want to think the people in our lives are safe and happy and nobody is hurting them. Having to confront the fact that it's not true and report that is hard, but it's the right thing to do. She will only have wished she didn't have to make that report because she wishes that you never had to experience that assault. She sounds like a great person and I'm glad you've got her in your life.

You didn’t fuck up. You spoke up and that’s important. You have people to support you.

Stay strong OP, nothing wrong or shameful about telling someone you trust about something that’s on your mind.

all power to you for speaking up,

but could we see the dog enjoying her first birthday party?

Of course you can, but i’ll send it in a private message if that’s okay.

that works!

Awww, I think a lot of us have unfortunately had experience with what you’re going through. Don’t ever feel guilty for telling your story. Staying silent is part of how this continues to happen to so many people, and it’s not our fault something was done to us. I’m glad you have such an amazing support person in your corner.

No, you most certainly did not f up at all! You did the right thing, and so did your teacher who reported it. I'm so glad she's taking it seriously!

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My dearest child, you have made no mistakes.

You are strong, resilient and amazing.

Please stop feeling that you made a mistake (which is so much easier for me to ask than for you to do). You have done nothing wrong. The person who hurt you is the who is in the wrong.

You deserve happiness, love and respect. You don't deserve what this person did to you.

I am so happy that you have an adult you can trust, please go to her whenever you need.

I have a kid about your age, and reading this made me start tearing up at work.

NEVER feel like you've done something wrong or burdened somebody by telling them something like this. If you have a teacher or friend or counselor that you can report these kind of things to, that you can trust, never feel like you've done anything wrong.

If you were my son, or one of his friends, and felt like you could come to me and tell me this I would do the exact same thing as your teacher (legal requirements or no) and absolutely reinforce that you did the right thing by trusting me with this information.

It's not wrong. You've done nothing wrong. There was no mistake.

I hope you are coping well with everything, and I'm glad to hear that your teacher responded letting you know that you did the right thing and would love for you to keep visiting.

You haven't fucked up, but as someone who has also gone through something similar I can see how you would feel that way!

thank you, so much.

I’m sorry i’m only just now seeing this but from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

"For some back story, I am almost 16, I was sexually assaulted when I was young"

"... it ended up getting reported ..."

You are still young (I am 64) to most people.

1. At what age were you SA'd and by whom or what was their relation to you?

When you bring up the subject, it invites these kinds of question since people want to understand your experience better.

If you don't want to talk about it with strangers (e.g. us on Reddit), feel free to not reply to my questions. I get the impression you are soliciting advice from us on how to avoid the "reporting" situation which seems to cause you some distress, so I am soliciting clarification before I give my opinion.

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2. I'm not sure what you mean about "reported". Do you mean "reported to police"? Or do you mean reported to "mental health" personnel, or both?

At first, I couldn't understand why your teacher had to "report" the SA again if it had already been .reported. The mental health counselors may feel that if you are still talking about it with non-peers, then you are, at best, over-obsessing about it or, at worst, passively soliciting more SA (whether you want it or not). In either case, they may think you would benefit from some counseling and so they have encouraged other non-peers (adults) to notify them.

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thank you deeply. I would like to think she felt that way too as I have a hard time trusting people due to other events from the past that have put a large strain on my life. I am learning to move on, but I am also learning to find ways TO move on, as I have seen psychologists and counsellors, though I can’t bare even trying to be transparent with them.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me and why I am like this, in the past I was always so apologetic for the tiniest mistake as I got yelled at, belittled, called names, and talked behind my back to my family telling lies about me if I did something wrong in the slightest. I don’t have an amazing relationship with my mum, we are close but not close enough that I tell her things important, worrying or saddening to me.

I have had a chat to one of the counsellors here, but am now refusing to see them because I truely don’t see it going anywhere. I honestly do feel like a huge failure, even though I am young, and even despite having large achievements. Thank you for your comment, I do really appreciate the support.

Hey. I know the feeling with struggling to be honest about it in person. I have a suggestion that may help. Once youve got someone you feel ok with, ask if you can interact differently to help you get it out. Can you write a journal and commit to twice a week writing about the past, the present and how you feel. Or a letter to get it all out. Or homework style, they give you some questions to answer at home where you feel less vulnerable. They can then read these, give you advice on what youve written and carry on. I know its hard and feels embarrassing to say somethings out loud. Find a way you can let it out, you can speak out loud when you are ready.

Could you arrange a dual appt? Have the teacher you trust in there as a chaperone, or to be able to look at them and talk not the councillor. Sometimes having someone in your corner helps.

Youre doing great by talking and finding help. Think of the ways you would be comfortable. It doesnt just have to be an uncomfy chair at either side of a bizarrely low coffee table! You'll find a way that gels with you

P.s. sounds like you have a lovely teacher.

She is, and I wish I still had class with her. I am good at english and always loved english, and with english comes poetry, so I do have some poems saved in my notes from the times I have tried journaling but in a different way.

I do like the suggestion of having someone else in the room with the counsellor, that seems like a really good idea but I would need to work out who as almost everyone that i’ve ever opened up to initially told me I could come to them and talk to them whenever but decided that was a no go for them after I finally gather the courage to open up. Thank you, and I will for sure take these suggestions into consideration.

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I need a link to your YouTube tutorial on making 3D paper stars

I actually learnt off a friend but I will link one that I think best suits the way I make mine!

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Most people are not comfortable talking about sexual activity (any kind of sexual activity) with people not in their peer group. You will never be in your teacher's peer group. She may wonder if you are bisexual and feel you are flirting with her or harassing her by discussing your or anyone else's sexual activity (past, present, or future). That's what I would think. That is reality.

You may have some sort of platonic or subconscious romantic crush on this teacher (the 2nd one), but she cannot reciprocate any feeling you have for her from anything other than an adult/child perspective.

1. Do you plan on maintaining contact with this teacher after you graduate from high school?

The sexual assault (SA) is something that happened 8-10 years ago and you probably don't want it to "color" the rest of your life. It's best forgotten or at least not dwelled upon unless you want that to be the "story of your life". If you want to discuss the SA with anyone, I suggest a boyfriend, female friend of your own age, or maybe a therapist.

2. Is the main reason it was considered sexual assault because it was a relative or did the relative actually force himself/herself on you and/or batter or threaten to batter you if you did not acquiesce to having sex with them?

3. Have you had any sexual experience with boys/men since the SA?

If not, try going to school dances, or other youth/school activities where you can encounter other boys that will not be sexually assaultive. After a slow dance is a good opportunity to kiss and fondle/hug a boy/girl of your choosing. Not knowing your level of sexual experience, I'm not saying you can or should copulate on the dance floor, but you might find some romantic/sexual partners that are more interesting than this teacher that seems so special to you.

Sir/Ma’am, with all due respect, why do you insist that there is something going on in my head about this teacher? Why should a student not thinking and telling a teacher about something that happened to them strike as sexual/romantic to you?

I feel as if you are sexualising not only the situation, but also myself, this isn’t about wether I have a “crush” on her or not (I don’t, that’s honestly pretty gross), and my intention was not to “talk about my sexual assault”.

Why does being upset for one of the very few times I have been over something traumatic that happened to me have to be me dwelling on it? My past does not just consist of sexual assault, that isn’t the only traumatic thing that has happened to me, so why does me thinking I messed up make you think I am letting it affect my life?

I get that you’re trying to help, or give your opinion, but I said in the post that advice is welcome, this however, is not advice. Who exactly told you that sexual assault has to mean they forced themselves onto me? If you really do have to know, they took advantage of not only my trust but the fact that my parents would have and still would take their word over mine, because I was just a little kid right?

Grief/trauma should not and DOES NOT have an expiration date!!! I’ve spoken with a counsellor about the matter, I’ve spoken with a male friend and a female friend about the matter, what makes you think that’s going to fix it?

I am yet to meet even one person whom can “forget” their trauma. I am unsure of your first question, also unsure why it’s relevant. The third question I feel is inappropriate to ask a minor, so I won’t answer it.

I would like to know from you however, how do these questions you have asked relate to my post?

The kind of teachers I could've used the help of, in school instead of the bullies I had as teachers