I'm curious what seemed to be the rush to get married. Marriage isn't this fairytale bookend to relationships like we're lead to believe. While you two may do great together, you have so much life left to establish who you are as individuals. It's not impossible to achieve, but look at where you are now: on Reddit making a post to figure out how to handle a complex situation that would otherwise be solvable by experience and maturity. There's a lot more growth that has to happen, and you and your husband really need to sit down and talk with everyone so everyone can really hear each other.