Submitted by coolneatrad t3_ycrna0 in tifu

Not today, but several years ago.

One morning I was making an omelet, and just as I plated it a little mouse startled me. Now, living in a country house I was no stranger to mice. I gave it the old short step and verbal report, shaking my fist for good measure. To my shock, this mouse was completely unfazed by this primal display of dominance. Committed to my intention, I brought out the other arm, hulking up my shoulders in order to appear even larger. This seems to have worked, and the previously complacent rodent recognized the authenticity of my threat and yeeted itself coherent to my vector. I chased it into the bathroom, bounding after it with ridiculously animated steps. As soon as it crossed the threshold, I pulled the door shut and contemplated my next steps while my pulse returned to normal. Remembering that cats eat mice, I found my trusty feline and cracked open the door just enough to add her to the situation. Now with my ears as the only tool to monitor, I stood outside and listened. After what felt like an eternity, there was a scuffle, a chase, silence, a few crunches, and there I stood outside the door satisfied that I had taken care of the problem and could now go enjoy my omelet.

A day later another fearless mouse appeared, and though I won’t bore you with the details I took care of this problem in much the same way. I had a plan, a method, it was easy.

Another day later, sitting at the table. Housemate enters the dining room, who had just returned from a several day trip.

”Where are my gerbils??”

Sharp breath in through clenched teeth as I instantly made the connection to the friendly mice.

Another housemate had been tasked to feed his gerbils, had forgotten, and the poor animals escaped out of necessity to meet a very unwelcoming housemate and murderous cat.

I had never seen or known of the gerbils until they met their fate, and very regretfully had to inform the housemate of what had happened.

TL;DR I didn’t know my housemate had gerbils, they escaped, and I fed them to my cat thinking they were mice.



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phillyeagle99 t1_itoca33 wrote

Okay this is a good laugh but how do a gerbil owner and a cat owner live together and never mention the fact that the gerbils exist?


goyangiqt t1_itp8hik wrote

I'm assuming they were students who weren't friends or anything and were the kind to keep to themselves in their own rooms.


Ocean_Spice t1_itogzt0 wrote

>I was no stranger to mice

But you don’t know what a mouse looks like, apparently?


Wilson-theVolleyball t1_itoleyp wrote

Eh I mean at a glance, especially in the heat of the moment, they do look pretty similar (both small rodent creatures).


RudeSprinkles1240 t1_itorwml wrote

OP described a prolonged encounter, complete with eye contact.


Wilson-theVolleyball t1_itoz957 wrote

Maybe he just thought it was a different kind of mouse especially since he didn’t know there were gerbils in the house? Like if someone doesn’t have a mouse side by side to compare, I can understand mistaking a gerbil for a mouse.

I dunno. Maybe the story is made up, maybe it’s not.


pax_penguina t1_itql8mh wrote

Hi, former gerbil owner here. I’d say most gerbils can’t pass for the average mouse on a good day, but if you don’t really know what you’re looking at it’s easy to be confused. Plus some country mice do have slightly varied coloration that makes it not un-possible to confuse the two species.

Honestly though, gerbils don’t usually give a fuck. Mice are usually pretty skittish. I can totally imagine a domesticated gerbil coming up to a human and going “Hey.”


dead_PROcrastinator t1_itpkcxd wrote

Bingo. Big difference between the two.


Jak_n_Dax t1_itr536b wrote

I just googled them. If I saw that in my house I would absolutely assume it was a field mouse.


Vegan-Nugz t1_itrw4z9 wrote

Same here. I would have absolutely confused that for a mouse.


Figgy20000 t1_itza5rz wrote

Apparently you don't know what they look like either. Gerbils from a distance basically look identical to mice.


Ocean_Spice t1_itzj524 wrote

Well, no. They don’t. But either way I’m not the one over here feeding gerbils to cats. (Adding, they’re also clearly not at a distance anyway if they were coming up to OP, so. Not sure how that’s even relevant.)


TheBlueFalling t1_itskxer wrote

They look VERY similar to field and house mice honestly. Other than ear size and the tail there is little difference.


hmbritt t1_ito5dl6 wrote

I died and laughed my ass off as soon as I read, "Where's my gerbils?"


NeverDidLearn t1_itod9up wrote


SubstanceWhich8684 t1_itocjp0 wrote

Kinda of like how my grandfather reacted to a mouse in my mother's childhood home. One day my grandfather noticed a mouse sitting at the top of the stairs. He got the broom from the kitchen and THWAP! Handled the mouse problem.

Well... somehow my aunt had bought herself a pet hamster (as a 10-year-old in the 70s) and secretly kept it in a shoe box in her closet. Well one day it got loose and while my aunt, my mom and their siblings weren't home.

Unfortunately for my aunt, she connected the dots about her "missing" hamster when my grandfather showed them the "mouse" he killed earlier.

Never told my grandfather the truth about his mouse.


HonestSoldier7 t1_itoof0y wrote

Your housemate probably posted something like, "TIFU by leaving my gerbils with my gerbil-starving housemate and my gerbil-killing housemate"


Klaumbaz t1_iton55g wrote

I work in animal control. For all the people giving him c*** over not recognizing a gerbil versus a mouse, It happens all the time.

Bees/wasps. Gopher/mole/vole/mouse/rat.....something is making holes in the yard.


EveryFairyDies t1_itprr4r wrote

It’s ok, you can say ‘crap’ on the internet!


Klaumbaz t1_itq87h9 wrote

My tablet did it with text to speech.


EveryFairyDies t1_itqcdw0 wrote

Wow, your tablet needs to loosen up! It will still go to Silicone Heaven if it says a few swear words online.


Akitiki t1_itrhr0a wrote

Jesus, the bee/wasp thing drives me up the wall. When someone complains about being chased by a bee I stop them and ask if they actually mean a bee, or a wasp or hornet. Those are very different things. One is curious, one will basically chill if you do, one will sting if it thinks you looked at it funny.

And then go on to tell them about beneficial wasps and harmless ones.


One coworker was saying about bees in her yard, like four big ones. Bee or wasp, actually wasp. Okay, how big- an inch or so. Colors- black and off yellow half stripes. Okay, that's a cicada killer, I'm surprised you have four hanging around your yard. It's not cicada season or even year. They're chill and can be handled gently if they get inside. They can sting but would rather not, their venom is specialized to incompacitate cicadas.


oo-mox83 t1_itrty6i wrote

There are often bees outside my store. Just little old trash bees that are just going after the full drinks people throw into the trash cans. I don't know how many people have run into the store yelling about a bunch of "wasps" outside but it's a lot. I have had several people argue with me even, insisting they're wasps. It's not hard to tell the difference, man. People are dumb.


Klaumbaz t1_ittz5fr wrote

Leaf cutter bees look very similar to yellow jackets.


great1675 t1_itob8i7 wrote

My cats found my sister hamster one afternoon. He liked to escape his cage. They didn't eat him, but he was soaking wet. I don't know if they were tenderizing him or cleaning him to this day😂🤣. You would see that little fucker walk across the floor sometimes or out of the hole in my subwoofer 😑😂


MarudePoufte t1_itoaxnk wrote

That’s unfortunate about your roommates pets, but on the bright side you have an undeniable gift for the written word!


phizzlek t1_itouq3q wrote

You’re telling me you didn’t cringe at “yeeted itself coherent to my vector”!?


Cthonos t1_itpriuw wrote

Agreed, the whole post is overwritten


phizzlek t1_itpty7g wrote

It has ‘school creative writing class’ vibes. People seem to love this on Reddit though so perhaps we’re out of touch!


Cthonos t1_itq0j48 wrote

Think you've hit the nail on the head with that, maybe half of the posts I see on here make me cringe; they feel like they were written by edgy 14 year olds.


MarudePoufte t1_itouwcb wrote

Haha sure, but I’m assuming that was for the young readers? Otherwise I thought it was great


mrmike5157 t1_itpn26x wrote

Agreed, I’m still trying to chew up and swallow that unfortunate phrase. Otherwise an entertaining story. (;


FearlessBuy21 t1_itogkus wrote

You left the most interesting part out of the post… how did the convo go between you and the other housemate… Please let us know.


quicheanus t1_itoguvy wrote

*In a mexican accent* Quit your day job. if you took it seriously enough, your writing style could pay all gerbils.


Shr_mp t1_itomqxy wrote

Those poor gerbils


awe018 t1_itocrox wrote

Write a book mate! Genuinely had me hooked like a comic book.


Sir_Credible t1_itoiu7v wrote

You’ve never seen green mile?


cynicaldoubtfultired t1_itotif6 wrote

You write very well OP. Shouldn't be laughing but this was very funny.


Sorrymomlol12 t1_itqw18f wrote

This was probably a nicer conclusion to the gerbils life than what my idiot sister did. She had a hamster or gerbil I think (whichever is smaller) and that think would just not die. It was a mean motherfucker that would bite, sleep all day, then run on his squeaky wheel all night and keep her awake. They said they live two years but this thing was pushing 7. So one day, I saw a vine where she SET IT FREE AT THE PARK. I was like SISTER OMG ITS GOING TO DIE IMMEDIATELY. And she was like “no I set him free!” And I was like “if the dog wanted to swim in the ocean you wouldn’t “set it free” your his caretaker until he naturally kicks the can!! Anyway, together us and some friends searched the neighborhood and couldn’t find the poor thing, which probably became a snack for a hawk or something. RIP


Cpt_Soaps t1_itoclaq wrote

Housemate had grrbils and you didnt know?


SusuSketches t1_itp00yo wrote

Oooooohhh what a twist and I adore your writing style, very amusing! Big oooooffffff


toady89 t1_itqvqic wrote

Was your gerbil owning housemate aware you owned a cat? To me it makes sense to ask the other pet owner to feed your pets whilst you’re away, I’m assuming the guy supposed to feed them wasn’t a pet owner since forgetting to feed them is pretty poor.


AVBforPrez t1_itrgxfm wrote

Why are you describing this like it's the script to a Tom and Jerry cartoon?


hephaistos070 t1_itplaa9 wrote

interesting story and very well written. Thanks for a laugh


MrSixLotto t1_itpzxlc wrote

You could at least do some white lies and skip the cat eating part. Just said that you saw them scuttle out or you chase them out


twick2010 t1_itqhwha wrote

Gerbils? Never seen em.


Setthegodofchaos t1_itupun9 wrote

I had to do a quick Google search, and I can see why gerbils and mice can get confused for one another


positivethinker77 t1_itp1dna wrote

Oh my God!!! This was a hilarious read!!! You are a wordsmith!!! This could be turned into a r/shortscarystories tale because, quite frankly, mice are terrifying!!! I love how it "yeeted" after you asserted dominance! Thank you for sharing. This story made my night! (Sorry to your housemate and the gerbils!)


RealEight t1_itr97vg wrote

I don’t know why, but I don’t believe you. As in, you made this story up.


YogSoth0th t1_itrhpgq wrote

You're a piece of shit and a complete fucking idiot. Gerbils look nothing like mice. You fucking murdered someone's pets, that they cared for, by FEEDING THEM TO YOUR FUCKING CAT, out of sheer fucking idiocy.

You're damn right you fucked up. If you're a decent person this will haunt you for a good long while, as it should.