Submitted by hairymange t3_yg968m in tifu
So this happened a while ago, however I decided to share this story with the internet. One summer night along time ago, my bro his GF and I decided we were all getting hammered. To be specific we were drinking tequila. We drank most of the night and the last thing that I remember is passing out on the couch. At some point in the night i started sleep walking. In my drunken, somehow physically capable of walking slumber, my body decided on a plan that my mind refused to be present for, so my mind entered the witness protection program (blackout drunk). I went in to my brothers room, where he and his innocent gf at the time lay so peaceful and still. My bro apparently had been awake trying to go to bed, so i find out later the next day when i hear about my drunken escapades. I , in my blacked out genius thinking, walk over to the edge of my brothers bed. he lay there feeling a still in the air of the calm before the storm. He turns over and looks up to see me standing there, so full of shock he is speechless for he knows what comes next. The storm arrives and him and his gf get a golden shower as i decide to make it rain on them. He yells fuck and throws the blanket over them but it is too late. His girlfriend wakes up as her curly hair is drenched from the thunderstorm. The shocked and angry Puerto Rican girl begins screaming at my brother in spanish, a language he knows nothing of. So while my poor brother is being screamed at in spanish, while he is soaked in tequila piss, his own bed soaked down to the mattress, i am still pissing. His gf, who is also one of my besties, blamed him and stormed out of the apartment for the night. He looks at me slowly fumbling around, making my way to the couch to pass out as if nothing had happened. I found out the next day when my mind had returned from the witness protection program, all that unfolded the night before
TL:DR. tequila got me blacked out, sleepwalk to my brothers room, he and his girl gets golden shower, she gets mad at him
handinhand12 t1_iu81g68 wrote
Yeah I have a similar story...
This happened right after me and my wife moved into a new apartment. Our dog's bed is at the foot of our bed. Apparently I woke up in the middle of the night and just started peeing on the little guy. My wife said she woke up because he started going crazy trying to make me stop. She asked me what I was doing and I just replied "We always do this," as if it was normal. She knew something was up so she asked me what my middle name was and I said "Thomas (true)...Or Montana." Montana was where I was born.
At this point she's freaking out at the whole situation and starts taking the sheets off our bed since my pee had gotten all over the bottom of them as well. She tells me to go let our dog outside because he's still freaking out so I do. We go back in and I just laid down in the bed and went back to sleep. I woke up 20 minutes or so later after she had given him a quick bath and thrown everything in the laundry. I remember asking her why she was doing laundry in the middle of the night and she told me everything.
The funniest part of the story is that the next day, we both left for a while and when we had gotten home, our dog had peed on my pillow. Never in his life had he done that and he's never done it since. I can't help but feel like he was getting back at me...
I've had several other incidents but after looking it up, it seems like there's several things that cause it. Genetics, new places, drinking, and stress are some of them. My dad has had a history of sleepwalking his entire life. As I mentioned, we had just moved to a new apartment. We had had some wine to end the night after a long night of unpacking. And our cat had found the tiniest hole next to the dishwasher and had been lost the entire day which caused us both a lot of stress looking for her. It was the perfect storm.