How old? I dont think it was any big of deal, but you werent rude and you apologised showed your remorse on the spot, there is nothing wrong with you, you are completely normal

Sounds like he took the first jab, if you live in a glass house you shouldn’t throw stones. I would remind him of that and apologize on top of it, then let that be that and maybe he just wants time to process the situation, and whatever happens, it is what it is.

I would wait a week or 2 and reach out again. Distance from the sting of the comment may help it along.

True I'll try I just don't wanna push to hard if he truly wants me to stop talking with him thx

Ya you are right, i wouldn't wanna go through what he is going through, if someone said something like that to me I would want space from them, I wanna and need to grow and better myself alot

That’s a good outlook, but to clarify my feelings about it, he did mention your family first, that’s on him, unless what he said was vanilla by comparison you shouldn’t feel too badly about what you said.

I love a good email or note - because it's not something you thought out to cut him down. He said something as part of a silly game you were both playing, and you said something defensive back. It's probably not a good type game (for anyone) to play with him, talking about families when that's a shitty area of his life. Everyone gets defensive about family. But it's going to go wrong for him pretty frequently unless the other person is willing to to have their family slagged and not say anything.

I get that. But a respectful "hey, I'm still kicking myself and have deep regrets. Hope you can forgive me at some point" is low pressure and opens the door for him to respond if he wants.

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Mac n cheese always brings out the fierce, I like the traditional elbow macaroni and four cheese with breadcrumbs on top, who wants to debate?

Remind him of that? OP isn't in the right. I'd argue that making light of someone's shitty family situation is a lot worse than someone talking shit about someone's comparatively better family situation.

Apologies don't come with "well you started it!"

Yeah, it sounds like the first comment was teasing/lighthearted and then OP went straight for the jugular.

I don’t know for fact what was said, nor the specific context of their relationship and their conversation, but if your family has problems, maybe don’t bring up problems in someone else’s family.

That’s all. It’s a general statement.

Yeah maybe, and honestly it is a rude way to respond. Should always think before speaking, generally.

No debate here. But I will raise the point that shell pasta reigns supreme.

Lmfao

First of all i can sympathize with you OP, because I have ADHD and generally find myself speaking before I think. just the other day i made a joke to my friend that came out the wrong way and i felt really shitty about it.

It sounds like you struck a soft spot, and perhaps your friend was already dealing with some internal emotional stuff at the moment. If you guys are good friends already, trust that one comment is not going to change that. Everyone slips up every now and then. Sounds like you had no malicious intent whatsoever.

Give him space for a few days and reach out to him to clear things up. In the meantime, do something to help yourself calm down. Don’t beat yourself up over something that already happened.

So the really shitty thing you said was "you can't be talkin"? Having a shitty home life doesn't give your friend the green light to joke about other people's situations without any kick back.

Having a shittier home life than your friends doesn't give you a green light to talk about their families? Maybe her "friend" should have kept his mouth shut if he gonna throw a hissy fit over a comment like "you can't be talkin"...

Ooo! Ooo! Shell pasta, please, mater. I'm off to play the Grand Piano!

If you lost a friend over four words after he provoked you first, that might not have been a strong friend

People make mistakes. Wait a while, then message him and explain. If he still doesn't want to have any contact with you then it's time to accept that and move on.

You’re not alone, OP. I’ve definitely said some shit that I regret. What you said definitely hurt your friend, and they may need some time to figure out their feelings, so give them some time and then try reaching out again. Stress that you understand that what you said was completely wrong, and that you want to be able to make amends. I don’t know how your family is, but I do know that this relationship is not all lost, it’s just hit a bit of a bump in the road. It can be saved. Your friend just needs some time.

Take responsibility, learn from it, leave him alone and move on. You're obviously very young so hopefully this is a lesson in thinking before speaking that you can learn and take with you into adulthood. Also im sure a little comment like that isn't just what caused him to cut you out, it's highly likely you've built a mountain of stupid things and haven't realized, and he's finally sick of it. If he wants to attempt at giving you a second chance in the future, which he 100% doesn't have to, he will reach out.

I was thinking about it and how he easily didn't want to talk to me anymore im can't figure out if I built a mountain of things or mabey it was one thing that hurt so much that he doesn't wanna be friends anymore

It should be a sub rule that the TL;DR have more meaningful info than the post title

He made his own fair game by trashtalking yours. It's the same logic as "Don't ask if you have problems with the answer". Or challenge you with "you won't dare anyways" and then complain when you do that thing.

You have no reason to overly blame yourself. You weren't even specific, you remained well within the bounds of what friendship allows.

How long ago did this happen? How old are both of you? If it's a really close friendship - just give him time to cool off and apologize again. If he can't forgive you for words, then he was never that good a friend. Close friendships are built on lifetimes of overstepping! There's an old saying that goes, "familiarity breeds contempt." I don't think it goes that far, but we tend to pick on the people we know best the worst. Just the way it goes wrong or right. I think he'll get over it and you'll be fine.

I hate you now too.

Mistakes are made, things are said with a hot head, but it's fixable and you can make it up. Just give it time and remember to learn from your mistakes and be humble.

Hope your friend and let go also, holding on to something said with a hot head is not healthy.

GTFO with your bendy noodles and fancy real cheese. Short straight tubes and an orange powdery concoction of, what I expect is, Cheeto factory floor sweepings for my KD.

I have a crab cake mac n cheese recipe that's fucking bomb

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That ain’t a friend my guy

I don't understand why "you won't dare anyways" is bugging me so much despite it being equivalent, to "you wouldn't dare anyways".