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LeenaQuinn t1_iujiekv wrote

I think you need to give up trying to make your mom happy. Obviously I can't speak on how she's treated you your whole life but I really think you need some independence from your mother.

You seem to feel anxious about not upsetting her when really it's not your fault that she chooses to react the way she does, and you shouldn't have to feel like you need to lie or alter yourself to avoid her reactions.

I think you should focus on yourself and your life and your relationship and have some time away from your mother. I'm sorry she treats you like that, and I'm sorry your father doesn't stop her.

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_apatheticaesthetic_ t1_iujrks1 wrote

thank you. I think you are right. She has treated me this way all of my life. I have a lot of compassion for her for the life she has had and her relationship with her own mother, but she has a lot of healing to do and I don't want to suffer at that expense anymore.. I have a solid and loving relationship with every single other member of my family and she only really treats me this way. she's harsh with my father and younger brother too but they seem to just be accepting of it and to brush it off with far less emotional distress. though I've tried to tell them how she makes me feel, I don't think they fully understand how much her actions affect my mental health and apparently my life decisions. I can't say I blame my father. He has been there for me in literally everything else in life, so if this is the one thing he wants to stay out of I feel like I can give him that. thank you

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