Submitted by Accomplished-Duck138 t3_z8c9td in tifu
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Submitted by Accomplished-Duck138 t3_z8c9td in tifu
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They were all open, tell me you wouldn’t snoop.. just a little bit?
Get off reddit and talk to your partner.
I’ll make another post on how it went !
For your sake, don't.
I've been in this exact position a couple times now.
I just closed the open windows.
Somehow I don't think you even limited yourself to what was already open in a window however.
Get help.
Not only do you actually not trust your fiance, you have acted on that distrust via a highly invasive method and justified it.
You need to come clean to him now, and seek help. You're quite far along with your distrust to do all this without batting an eye.
Happy cake day and thank u
Yup!
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I agree
How would you feel if he went into your social media and deleted everyone that he thought you shouldn't be talking to? I'm pretty sure you'd be pretty pissed off if you found out. Frankly you have abused his trust and should probably tell him what you did before he discovers it. This actually is a pretty serious fuck up, especially assuming that you are in a happy and healthy relationship which includes trusting your partner.
It's good that you acknowledge your actions came from a place of personal insecurity, however if you do believe you have mutual trust with your partner you should talk about what you did.
Why is it bad to delete them? I’m just wondering. Since I’m using his laptop, I don’t want to look at them
As a general rule if it’s not your computer you don’t change things without asking if it’s okay. General rule of most things you borrow really. As a side note you scare me. Please stop.
Ok I’ll stop being scary.
Because they aren't your messages and photos. Those are his.
How would you feel if he went though your closet and threw out clothes that you'd worn when you were with people he didn't approve of. Like gossipers or your friend who he thinks wear too much makeup.
bad comparison but ok lol
It's bad because you went searching for something you didn't want to find. Instead of talking openly and truthfully about what you found and how it made you feel, you deleted everything in what honesty sounds like a destructive spiral.
Based solely on this single post it seems like you don't trust your partner and after this post there is little reason for them to trust you in the future.
You’re right. I’ll talk to him about it thanks :)
You violated his privacy and trust. This isn’t quite as bad as cheating but it’s up there with that level of breach. Trust takes a long time to earn, but it can be lost in a second.
He should dump you. Not only are you violating his privacy, deleting shit that isn't yours is destruction of property. I'd dump your ass in a second when I found out about these intrusions. He should too
Damn. Seek help.
You didnt fuck up yet but your parents did for several years for you to become like that.
they did, unfortunately.
You have a very different definition of trust than non lunatics
Well that was an incredible invasion of privacy of not only your fiance but also his family and friends.
I know you won't but you should fess up to doing so because if he learns of this later he may be quite rightfully upset.
So, you pretend hat you trust your person, yet do literally everything that sows you don't.
The number of major red flags.... You're a psychologist's dream... The amount of therapy you will both need to deal with your shit....
I hope he dumps you. This is a major violation of trust and privacy. I’m married, have been with my partner 20 years and married for 16 and I would never ever ever do this to him. I would be furious with him if he ever did it to me. It’s personal property. Destruction of property. Never mind the trust aspect. You had absolutely no right at all. You’ve said you’ll talk to him about it but I hope you’re going to own up to everything
That is basically a violation of his privacy. And it’s you saying that you do not trust him at all and that you will always be controlling his life. You won’t be able to hide this and eventually he will get fed up and leave. It is one thing to snoop a bit but it is a whole other thing to read every single message he has because you didn’t just violate his privacy, you violated the privacy of every person he had a conversation with. They won’t trust him because of you now. And then the fact that you started deleting things YOU didn’t like from his computer….. that’s basically a point of no return. If you were my gf/wife, you would be gone out of my life ….
Good lord way to show you don't deserve the trust he is giving you. I hope he figures out how scummy you are and takes his laptop and run.
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Honestly, no matter how you spin it, you don’t trust him. My bf leaves his phone around me and I know the code. But I have never gone through it because I trust his loyalty to me. My bf and I have the understanding that if we ever feel like we need to snoop then trust is gone and if we don’t have trust there is no point staying together. I’ve been in your position with past relationships, it’s never worth it. Communicate your fears, and move on from the relationship you obviously can’t bet on. It’s hard, it sucks, and it will hurt. It’s also obviously very unhealthy, and you both deserve more.
So is he ok with his friends cheating on their partners? You should tell their partners
No he’s not ok with it and his friends partners are also my friends
are you going to tell them?
people will call you a bad partner, will label you as “crazy” but the fact you did find something just smacks the fuck out of whatever they’re saying to you in these replies. all those against you prove that the “phase out” of monogamous relationships being ran by the new world order is truly working. you’re not in the wrong
Darkassassin07 t1_iyaxzmo wrote
Wow.
If I was him and found out about this, I'd dump you in a heart beat.
The files are unimportant, but the fact that you'd go digging through his files, contacts, messages, social media..... Jfc