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adumau t1_iuq9unz wrote

You can't pull out the uno reverse card on him? Y'all made out and held hands and stuff...sounds like he's pretty gay.


axebodyspraytester t1_iuqczx0 wrote

That's what I'm thinking, as a straight person you don't just get a boyfriend to fuck with his feelings and go back to your straight friends and talk about how you guys are making out and having long walks on the beach. That fucker is in denial. Give it a few years and look him up I bet he's going to find himself eventually.


Liimbo t1_iuqgp46 wrote

> Give it a few years and look him up I bet he's going to find himself eventually.

Or become a priest. 50/50 really.


PineappleLemur t1_iuqsjr7 wrote

He probably is and just afraid to come out so that whole "bet" is his BS to get out.


pileodung t1_iuqj1sg wrote

Right. And he wants to keep the gift he got from OP. I'd say it all meant something 🤷‍♀️


Thisispalatable t1_iuq67yb wrote

I understand that this is an incredibly difficult thing to have to go through, and I feel terrible for you situation. You were giving so much love and trust and someone violated that. But if it helps at all, know that this is just one chapter in many and the love you have to offer to offer can still flourish for many others!


Economy_Leek123 OP t1_iuq6d10 wrote

Thanks you for that reassurance. I know I probably will find love again, and that it was naive of me to think this one would last forever. But, I hadn’t ever felt love like that before, I genuinely thought it was my once in a lifetime love.


Dessidiri t1_iuqcax0 wrote

The secret about once in a lifetime love is that everyone has the potentiality to be that person. You don't find the right guy and magic happens... That bond is builded by the two of you with trust, fondness and hard work to make the relationship stronger than any problems you find in the way.

Is not like this can be done only by one special person and nobody else is able to do that with you; it's more like a choice you both need to make every day in your life. So, if you can make that kind of choice, you're already half way to find love.

Sorry for my bad english, btw. Hope this could help to give some perspective.


Stuffthatpig t1_iuqmssh wrote

> thought it was my once in a lifetime love.

This doesn't exist. Love takes work every day from both sides. I firmly believe you can fall in love with almost anyone. Making it last is the hard part. I tell this to every newlywed - wake up and choose to love the other person every day. Even when you want to scream in their face and think you hate them. Choose to love them.

This asshole wasn't making this choice. And to be honest, you're young and in lust love. You probably weren't making this choice either.


noxxit t1_iuqsx6d wrote

Public shaming for scamming you out of x-hundred dollars. If he keeps it, publicly label him a scammer. He made you trust him to gift him something valuable. That's the same tactic used by phone scammers. "Skyler is a scammer", he scammed you. Yes, you were naive, but so are all scamming victims. Sometimes we are vulnerable and guillable and stupid. Please don't victim blame yourself or let others do that to you.


OkapiEli t1_iuqcb4r wrote

It's hard to hear this and may seem impossible right now but he was NOT your once-in-a-lifetime love. You deserve BETTER. And you WILL be loved, in the way you deserve.

Just this week I reconnected with a young man who had a tough time in his teens, Catholic family, lots of identity struggle. Now a decade later he is married with a gorgeous husband and baby twins - so happy!


teronna t1_iuqqr0z wrote

Every love is a once-in-a-lifetime love. Your next one will be once-in-a-lifetime, just like this one.


Faiakishi t1_iuqie9q wrote

You're absolutely right that you will almost certainly find true love again and the pain of this will fade.

But right now, it feels terrible. It's going to feel terrible for a while, and you're allowed to feel terrible about it. Don't diminish what you're feeling right now.


danderskoff t1_iuqt62t wrote

It's a good lesson to learn now when you're young


LetterheadFar5410 t1_iuq571d wrote

Don't mind thise stupid people at school who just made fun of you. You are literally so much better than your ex boyfriend who tricked you. As for the necklace, hopefully you get it back. Try your best to ignore those people who are making you feel bad like making fun of you etc because like karma's gonna bite them back in the future. Also btw all actions you've decided to take are amazing so far.


Economy_Leek123 OP t1_iuq5a0d wrote

Thank you! I’ve thought of multiple directions to take such as going to his dad, but that probably would’ve gotten me hate crimed.


jaffa-caked t1_iuqjmv2 wrote

Started telling his friends he sucked you off


billbot t1_iuqnlp5 wrote

Yeah I gotta say my petty ass would be making a scene in front of everyone at school about how great the sex was and how much I missed some specific detail.

Yes it would be wrong to use the homophobia against him but also fuck him for doing this shit.


Faiakishi t1_iuqi58q wrote

You're smart. Your safety is the most important thing. Listen to your gut and stay safe.


UndeadBread t1_iuqkvle wrote

> karma's gonna bite them back in the future

Although a nice platitude, this unfortunately often isn't the case.


redthreadzen t1_iuqiu62 wrote

He's really not going to be happy that he's been outed in a way, and that seems to be the case. But hay, he did what he did, so having everything brought out into the open is just the natural concequence of his actions. I can't help thinking there's actually been some mixed motives with him. In a way it could have been better to tread gently and give things time to resolve. Now it's all like an episode of heartstopper. Sorry this is your early and somewhat formative experience of love. Many of us have experiences of tentative and unrequited love. Being gay definetly ads another layer of complexity. Time to reset, be proud of how you've conducted yourself and start again. Big hug from all the Boys. You got this.


rusty6899 t1_iuqk4vp wrote

My guess is that he’s gay, he liked you, he is scared he’ll lose all his friends if he comes out so he’s got cold feet and now claims he did it all to humiliate you in an attempt to avoid having to deal with the consequences of coming out to his friends.


d4m1ty t1_iuq5gq4 wrote

The gift was given on a premise of bad faith. He has no right to keep it.

You could small claims him. You might not win but it will put a public face to him for all the world to see.


Economy_Leek123 OP t1_iuq5i1v wrote

What can I do though that’s the thing. I feel so helpless regarding it


DylanHate t1_iuqj97p wrote

Ask him to give it back. If he doesn’t flip it back around. You just have to own this. If you act heartbroken and embarrassed at school they won’t stop. But he’s the allegedly straight guy who dated you for three months. I’d stand up at lunch and read everyone of his letters out loud. If people start saying shit tell them “I’m gay, what’s his excuse?”

Like literally just publicly roast this jackass. Loudly ask when he’s gunna give your necklace back every time you see him. Ask if he’s keeping it because he loves you so much.

Tell everyone at school about your dates. “Hey Skyler remember when we had our first kiss at the fair. You looked adorable.”

“Hey Skyler I really liked the way you ate that corn dog.”

“It’s too bad we didn’t work out Skyler, I really liked your mom.”

“Hey did you guys like our love letters? Skyler said you’d read them to each other every night. No wonder I thought you were really gay!”

“You got me beat guys, you out-gayed me. Didn’t think that was possible! So did you hang my heart shaped necklace by your bed or do you carry it around with you cause you miss me so much.”

Refer to him publicly as your ex boyfriend. Tell everyone how amazing and romantic he was. Talk about how all his friends fantasize about hooking up with a guy because why would a “straight” guy have a boyfriend all summer.

Talk about how after each date they would all get together and gossip about your big gay relationship. Play a super romantic song on your phone at lunch and tell Skyler “Remember when we slow danced to this after our movie night. You’re a really good dancer Skyler. You must have put a lot of practice into dating me. Still have the necklace I gave you? That’s so sweet.”

He’s the idiot for pretending to be gay for three months. I mean who fucking does that. If you own it in school the public opinion will turn against them.

Once they realize their joke didn’t humiliate you like they thought, all their power will be gone. When they see you joking around and telling everyone it will be wayyy more uncomfortable for them. Literally all they have to say is “Haha isn’t it funny that you’re gay.” But you are gay. And they knew that. So what’s the point of the joke? “Let’s see how long we can convince him we’re gay too”!

Once it comes out of their mouths they will realize how stupid they sound. Privately, you know it hurts and it’s fucking horrible, but if you flip it back on them in public and make fun of them back they will deflate like little balloons and it’ll be them switching schools, not you.

EDIT: Also the key to pulling this off is to act completely nonchalant about it. If you make it sound too forced it won’t work. Like it’s funny but you’re mostly just totally bewildered. Like a casual “can you believe this fucking guy, I even let him suck my dick.”

Also watch some comedy videos. I really like Bill Burr. Nobody does righteous anger like him and his rants are fucking legendary. You’ll hate-laugh all the rage right out of you.


nursepenelope t1_iuqlcq3 wrote

‘Wow, skyler pretended to be gay for three months for what? A few dates and a gold necklace. He’s the real life version of ‘I’m not gay but 20 bucks is 20 bucks’’


majxover t1_iuqps76 wrote

In 20 years, he’ll be sucking dick for coke


Sideways-Pumpkin t1_iuqowot wrote

While I personally would do things this way it’s also very unsafe. Especially since there’s a group of guys and only one of OP. Seems like a way to get jumped or injured very badly.


kitsunegurl t1_iuqqa1j wrote

This is my favorite response! I honestly love it so much! I would be scared about retaliation though... But in theory this is like the best response ever!


31InChiTown t1_iuqr280 wrote

Omgosh - high school would have been so much less horrible if I had your brain!

Haha these are all awesome <3


JesseH1994 t1_iuq7q6k wrote

I'm sorry to say this, but the people from legal advice are going to say the same thing. If it's a gift, you cannot legally force him to give it back. The only way he would give it back would be if you confronted him.

Sorry for what happened. You are stronger than most by confronting his mother


snoopervisor t1_iuqof3u wrote

> what’s his excuse?”

/u/DylanHate Gave you a good example. If they call you names or attack you verbally in any way, respond calmly. But there's a trick. Every answer you give to someone, end with a question. For example: "I apparently made a wrong decision. Do you hate me for that?"

Ending your responses with questions pointed towards the attackers, you have the upper hand. In turn, you force them to explain their behavior. You're taking control over the conversation. If they avoid responding, say it again: "I asked you if you hated me. Respond. Do you hate me?"

Prepare in advance good strong questions that will force them to explain themselves. More examples:

"You're not a person I want to discuss my life with. Why are you trying to ruin my life?"

"I think it's not of your concern. Do you feel better by attacking me?"

"I didn't ask you for your opinion. Why are you attacking me?"

"I understand you may be upset. Can't you be a better person?"

Remember, first respond, then ask. Short answer immediately followed by a question.

I am not a native speaker. You can find better responses and questions that suit your situation.


Economy_Leek123 OP t1_iuqomhb wrote

That’s brilliant. I never truly thought about that. Like that’s smart.


Alib668 t1_iuqpsyc wrote

The main issue is these questions come off as agreesive, all that will happen is they will devolve into kid behaviour to under mine the question. So what you need to do is be prepared for that. As the last long person said OWN this shit. Ultimately their powers are humilating u, frustrating u, pushing you. All these are ultimately rooted in you outward expressions not externally to you which means its you who has control.

When they try to belittle by going all kiddy on the questions or shouting back and getting agreesive. Keeping calm is the biggest thing. It shows control, it shows who is in charge.

Questions like “im gat whats his excuse” is a great one, “ yeah ok so a joke usually has a punchline, this seems like 3months of love letters isnt that weird?” “Mate, he kissed me isbt that gay too? ;p” Will also hell control the natrative, remove the humilation. This is all about how you react to them and at its core its in your control


Thames_CDN t1_iuq665j wrote

You don't really have a claim to recover a gift, unfortunately


noxxit t1_iuqszkv wrote

Public shaming for scamming you out of x-hundred dollars. If he keeps it, publicly label him a scammer. He made you trust him to gift him something valuable. That's the same tactic used by phone scammers. "Skyler is a scammer", he scammed you. Yes, you were naive, but so are all scamming victims. Sometimes we are vulnerable and guillable and stupid. Please don't victim blame yourself or let others do that to you.


mileswilliams t1_iuqeo23 wrote

I guess you haven't watched Judge Judy. A present is a present it isn't given with caveats and clauses and legally there is no leg to stand on.


HaikuBotStalksMe t1_iuqmb9p wrote

Sometimes people say it's a promissory gift. Like you get to keep it provided certain conditions are met. He can lie and say it was an engagement gift maybe.


mileswilliams t1_iuqq46e wrote

Unless the other person agrees that was what was said, good luck trying to prove anything.


Chickennoddlesoup543 t1_iuq7xpx wrote

Teenagers are pretty horrible, they’d do anything out of pettiness or just to impress their friends. Id say be careful about that friend group in general. Stay safe dude and hope this gets resolved peacefully


Tacticalteam t1_iuqnqhq wrote

I hope it's not peaceful. I hope Skylar and his friends are shown in the light they've been presenting themselves in. I hope vengeance comes.


Coco_Dirichlet t1_iuq98d4 wrote

You can record the IG live with your phone and take it to school. In some locations, what students do outside of school against other students is consider bullying. It doesn't have to happen inside the school for them to take actions.

I would go to a school counselor, give them the videos, tell them how they all did a dare and what this guy did (pretending to be your BF). They are all in school and this also went on in school too. Maybe pressure from all of that, he'll give you the necklace back. This can potentially go on their records and it would be shared with colleges.

That's what I would do.


Zealousideal-Chain34 t1_iuqt96w wrote

Considering how his original post said he's from a small town community the school might honestly just dgaf


ayespaceghost t1_iuqo62l wrote

I’m so sorry you had to experience this BUT please be careful about confronting him at school. I’m honestly worried for your physical well-being especially because of how homophobic him and his friends honestly are. Please be careful and maybe try not to be alone. I’m wishing you the best.


Butthole__Pleasures t1_iuqi22b wrote

That boy is gay as the day is long, buddy. How many times did you two make out over the months? And yeah you didn't have full-on sex, but what did you do with him? You should call his ass out in front of everyone. In detail. Fuck that guy. He deserves to get burned like that.


Economy_Leek123 OP t1_iuqi6tw wrote

The other comments have been advising against it though. If he is gay; being outed isn’t exactly the best thing. I still love the guy and everything, I know I should be angry and want him dead, but if he’s gay and is projecting his self hatred onto me; he’ll eventually learn to hate himself instead. The main thing I’m actually mad about is the necklace now.


dekiruzooo t1_iuqkvid wrote

Hey there, fellow gay here 👋🏳️‍🌈. I have fortunately not been wronged in such a disdainful way, but I do have some insight.

Honestly, getting into this guy's psyche, if you really want the necklace back, you will need to make it clear (publicly or otherwise) that if he keeps the necklace, then he obviously has feelings for you. You can even say something like, "I'm glad you're keeping the necklace, Skyler, because it proves this wasn't just an act. You really did have feelings for me and our relationship was real." If he keeps the necklace, he's outed himself whether he's ready to or not (and it's not your responsibility), and if he gives it back he has a way out (for now), and you get your rightful property back.

The worst homophobes in this world are pretty consistently gay themselves. Even entertaining the idea of the dare is proof in and of itself that he has homosexual thoughts. I really feel for you, buddy. Just know, it does get better (not in a straight line, mind you, but straight lines are boring af), and the community is here to support you along the way.

Good luck! ✊


Arches_of_light t1_iuqnmsb wrote

What I haven't seen anybody mention so far is the possibility that Skyler could have just refunded/sold the necklace. It's what I would do if I had an expensive piece of jewelry that wasn't very dear to me. It sucks to think about, but the guy is clearly a prick and I wouldn't be at all surprised.

And even if he hasn't done that, he could just lie about it. The obvious response to being called out this way would be "I sold it, lol".


Cookandcaughtup t1_iuqomqs wrote

You've been so mature and emphatic during this, it's really impressive to see. I hope you are doing a bit better and find the perfect guy soon!


Economy_Leek123 OP t1_iuqos4f wrote

Thank you, I dont know if I'll be ready to date anytime soon at all. But maybe in the future.


Cookandcaughtup t1_iuqoxz8 wrote

I'd be the exact same in your situation.

Honestly once your out of school so much changes, you can put all of that crap behind you and live your life freely.

Wishing you the best!


Domilater t1_iuqqlgs wrote

No offence, but he doesn’t deserve your courtesy. I’d understand if he gave back the necklace, at that point I’d just ignore him. But the fact he hasn’t is the kicker. Yeah, it’s a dick move to lie to someone like that, but it’s an even bigger dick move to take a gift that was worth a lot to them when you have nothing towards them what so ever.

You need to turn people against him if he’s not going to give the necklace back. Start simple. Ask for it. It’s the least he could do for that he’s done to you. If he refuses? That’s when you hurt his reputation. Let the whole school know just how much of a scumbag he is. If you can, get proof of it. Tell everyone he basically robbed you, as that gift isn’t meant for him anymore.

Don’t let him push you around over this. From the looks of it he has no intention of apologising. In his mind it was a joke.


surely12 t1_iuq98vt wrote

>She would then message me later that night that she isn't able to force her son to give the necklace back, but she's terribly sorry and that Skyler is staying at his Dad's for the time being.

I don't understand why she isn't able to force her son to give the necklace back. She's his mom and has authority over him. She can definitely get that necklace back if she tried.


AdeleBerncastel t1_iuqcod4 wrote

She’s divorced from his dad who treated her badly. She has no recourse. Look at the behaviour of her son. You think this type of boy obeys his mother?


NuclearLunchDectcted t1_iuqjv2x wrote

OP is 18, if the ex is also 18, she can't do much. Threaten to kick him out of the house maybe, but a loving parent might not be willing to kick their teenage child out over something like this.

It's shitty, but it's a tough decision for a parent to have to make. He really should give the necklace back, but unfortunately sometimes the bad guy wins in real life.


jacksev t1_iuqjxmf wrote

27 y/o gay man here. It doesn’t feel like it’s been 10 years since high school lol but I remember what it feels like to be in that weird place with some people who are ok with it and some really conservative people. I remember what it was like to want to date someone like all my friends were doing but there was only 1 or 2 other people who were out and I wasn’t really interested in them.

People have given some great suggestions, such as going to administration and showing them how they’re bullying you on social media. So long as you’re in school, this isn’t ok and you shouldn’t let them get away with it. They were developing social media policies when I was in school, so I’m sure they’re a lot stricter now.

Overall though, I cannot emphasize enough how little these people will matter after high school. You will make new, adult friends. You will probably date lots of people. Life is going to be so much better beyond high school.

It sounds like you have a great head on your shoulders and a loving heart. It’s gonna be ok, bub. Whatever you do, though, please don’t hold onto Skyler. Take it from me, it’s so easy to get stuck on a guy that is NOT right for you. Life’s too short to waste time like that. Lemme know if you ever need someone to talk to that might understand what it’s like.


squidboimushroomhead t1_iuqggp7 wrote

I hope Skyler really hates himself for what he did to you, one day. You deserve so much better and my heart goes out to you for being so deceived. You will get over this though and be a stronger person for it. Red flags are so much easier to see in people once people show you what they are. Good luck young one💜


BoyHaunted t1_iuqbkkb wrote

Save all of the tik tok videos, and IG vids... anything that him or his friends post about you that can even be misconstrued as bullying! Including all the texts you still have. That way if they were to try and harm you in any way... you have an air tight case.

Do not make false accusations about him, such as yall sleeping together and such.

The reality is you may not get the necklace back, and that's an expensive lesson to learn. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Your still crazy young. Your gunna find quite a few more loves out there before you find the "one"!... take it easy... you have time!


Batmom222 t1_iuqpe9t wrote

Why can't the mom make him give it back? If any of my kids pulled this shit, you can bet your ass I would make them give it back.
I'm a pretty chill mom who is very understanding about just about anything, but one thing I do NOT tolerate from my kids is bullying.

I'm really sorry for what happened to you, nobody deserves to be treated this way and I hope you are feeling better soon!


dickbutt_md t1_iuqsws3 wrote

How is everyone missing that this kid Skyler is gay or bi?

There's no way a straight kid commits to this con this much. He maybe decided op isn't for him and reacted by pulling back, or something, but this kid is just not 100% straight.


grenl0l t1_iuq4l45 wrote

I was brought to this post because I randomly remembered the tiktok and as soon as I check you posted woah


theunpossibledream t1_iuqciu9 wrote

Whatever happens, hold your head up. You did absolutely nothing wrong. He may have a few friends on his side, but you have damn near the rest of the world on yours.


omgThisIsNotMyName t1_iuqnlkl wrote

As far as them calling you slurs and saying you lied… drop those receipts, put him on blast. I hate liars.


VibrantIndigo t1_iuqqegd wrote

OP, I know it doesn't feel like this now, but the truth is that you have already won. You've won because you are kind and loving and courageous and wise and mature* and a wonderful decent human being, and all that will last a lifetime, and as you go through life most people will appreciate you hugely for all that. Look at the way the whole internet** is supporting you.

  • okay, a bit naive but a) you're 18, you're only a beginner adult, naive is part of that, and b) that naivety was actually trust and decency.

** Or most of it.



Economy_Leek123 OP t1_iuqqlmg wrote

That’s the thing about trust and being naive; when the trust is reciprocated, everyone calls you trustworthy, brave, and reliable. But when you trust something or someone genuinely, and you care about them, and love isn’t returned, you get shunned for being naive. Thank you for the kind words. Everyone’s support has been amazing.


Ultronomy t1_iuqr7p0 wrote

Skyler is definitely in denial about his own sexuality lol. Let this chapter of your life slide past, choose happiness. Literally no one actually cares about high school.


Warm_Bee5907 t1_iuqu5ev wrote

I’m so sorry you deserve so much better. Teenagers are assholes and don’t think about how much their actions can affect someone so just ignore their dumbasses. Ask him directly for the necklace back if he refuses start being petty like him and ask his little group of friends why a “straight” guy dated you for three months and kissed you multiple times. Stay safe kiddo I know how hard it can be sometimes dealing with homophobes ❤️


Corka t1_iuqnndu wrote

This whole thing seems so damn weird. Do you live in a particularly conservative area where open bigotry is accepted and encouraged? Because in most schools these days someone being gay is accepted pretty easy and the student body would be far more likely to tear him a new one instead of you. Also his mum is bi, what the hell?

But okay even if it was an ultra conservative area where gay people are met with massive ridicule, wouldn't the homophobic friends look at him sideways for willingly doing the dare for several months and making out with you?? It definitely sounds like his hostility and mockery of you might be performative to convince his friends he doesn't swing that way.


semajets t1_iuq9b9v wrote

I've read all your posts on this, I don't know what to say except you're a legend and advocating for yourself in your situation must have been horrendously difficult but you spoke to his mother which is a huge accomplishment mate. Respect.

While very, very few of us ever face anything like what you've been through recently, most of us do at some point have a really awful experience that turns love into total chaos. You'll be alright. Just keep being strong, sincerely - you're an impressive guy.


Pip-Pipes t1_iuqo8pb wrote

He's staying vulnerable and true to his feelings in the face of extreme social stigma. So proud of OP and their authenticity. I hope they never lose the ability to love like they do.


Abbhrsn t1_iuqegep wrote

Record it if they're talking about you and streaming it online. If this escalates you may be happy you have the evidence. I'm sorry you had to go through some shit like this man..some people just really suck.


Dgeneratecow t1_iuqeiqy wrote

Nah go in front of the class and tell them Skylar kissed you pretty convincingly for a straight dude.

Hope you get it back


Natsirk99 t1_iuqpt41 wrote

This will stay with him for the rest of his life. At some point he will grow up and reflect on the things he did. This will be one of those memories that creeps up on him when he least expects it. He will regret the choices he made and will feel guilty about the way he treated you.

We all grow up someday. Even if it’s those last milliseconds as our life flashes before our eyes.

You on the other hand, you will have grown stronger from this. Your skin is thicker, it’s harder for you to fall so easily. You will have lived and learned and eventually the person you’re truly meant to be with will find you. You will appreciate them that much more. It’ll take time, but you’ll get there. You will build up walls and they will have to break those walls down to get to your heart, which means they truly love you.

Be patient. Be gentle to yourself. You did nothing wrong. Stay strong. You’re almost done with these people and you can cut them out of your life. Life is too short to allow toxic people in and those people are so insecure about themselves and incredibly toxic. They will undoubtedly join Hustlers University because they have something to prove.

May God have mercy on their souls and the government have mercy on their rape victims.


Odie1892 t1_iuqqz3w wrote

I've seen both your posts and Im a little worried for your safety here. I'm in the UK and I know some things work a bit different in the USA so please bear that in mind.

Im not gay but I know what it's like to be bullied at school. I also know how easily insults can lead to violence, especially when there's a gang of bullies egging each other on. From what you've said I think this is more likely as this guy is obviously gay or bi and can't deal with it.

If I were you I'd be documenting all this abuse, saving messages and videos were possible. You need to make the school aware of what's going on. The best way would be to go with a parent and see the Principle. If nothing else they can keep an eye out if any trouble from this gang of lads. If the worst does happen they'll then have no excuse but to come down on them like a ton of bricks.

I'd also let his parents know about all this Instagram stuff. If they in any way doubted you then there is a video confession from him.

You've said you've gone looking for legal advice about the necklace. As it was a gift that's probably going to make it hard to get back legally. I think your only hope there is if he caves into pressure from his parents. However what you need to do is cover yourself from any action from him and his gang of mates. I'd find out if any of this is covered by hate speech or harassment laws where you are, I'd also look into restraining orders against them especially if you can find any evidence that any of them have posted something about violence against gays.

Last thing don't dispair. School can be rough. Things get better when you leave. Whether you go to Uni or straight into work it's life is completely different. You can find your tribe and things will get much better for you.


[deleted] t1_iuqftu4 wrote



Economy_Leek123 OP t1_iuqm85n wrote

I apologize my writing skills aren't perfect. But the story is real and if you'd like proof feel free to dm me. <3


marcelyns t1_iuqjo8p wrote

Good on you for speaking with his mum, no matter the outcome. You’ve done every right thing you possibly can. Bold and brave and better for it, well done!


PracticeAsleep t1_iuqnand wrote

It seems to me you're being sticking point these days is the necklace which is a symbol of your love for Tyler. Simply put the sooner you can let that necklace go the sooner you can let him go. Best of luck to you.


marphod t1_iuqrika wrote

With Respect To getting your necklace back, talk to a lawyer.

Assuming you are in the US, your state bar association will have a referral system. Check their website. The referral consultation will be low cost or free, depending on the state (and the attorney may charge less given you're a minor). If you are outside the US, your region's/country's/equivalent's professional attorney's association probably runs a similar referral service.


Given that the necklace was a gift, you cannot claim it as stolen property. However, I believe that you are a minor. As such, you have some ability to back out of contracts and agreements, and those agreements and contracts can be cancelled by your parents. You may have a right to back out of this gift and demand it back; that will be state and circumstance dependent.


(I hate the reddit fancy editor; any time i try to cut and paste, it deletes random sections of my drafts. Grrrr.)


You may also have a claim under a theory of Fraud by False Pretenses. Your ex was materially enriched, and you were emotionally and materially harmed by your ex telling you things that he knew to be untrue. You may have a right to recover things you gave him that were premised upon you being in a real relationshop. Again, this will be state and circumstance dependent.


Finally, assuming your ex is a minor, his mother may be wrong. She probably can (legally, if not morally) force your ex to give you the necklace back (depending on the custody agreement between your ex's parents). Certainly, if your ex's parents agree, they can force him to return it. If they don't, it will depend on the custody agreement and state law.


It is entirely possible that you have no claim and are screwed. It is entirely possible that your claim to get it back is incredibly strong. No one on reddit who is qualified to make that judgement is going to respond to you in a public forum, as it could be professionally problematic. In the unlikely event someone qualified offers to you advise via messaging, it is going to be after a discussion about specifics, and they are going to need to know where you live (within state/city precision).


In short, talk to a lawyer. Ask them if they think this is something that is worth bringing to small claims court, and what the process to do that will be. Also ask under what circumstances a custodial parent could force their child to return it, if a non-custodial parent could do the same thing, and if so, see if the attorney is willing to draft a letter to your ex's mother informing her of this.


Cats_Canvas t1_iuqggvf wrote

I may not be the best person to take advice from, but if you have any friends them talk with them about it, and if you don't (no shame, I didn't at your age) talk to your dad or his mom more about it. Ask them for advice, help, and emotional support during this crucial time of stress. You may even be able to become good friends with his mom, who knows. But whatever you do, don't rush anything drastic since you are emotionally stressed and not calm yet. Unless you recovered quickly. But rum crucial decisions by a trusted friend or adult before running through what you could regret later. That's what I wish I had at your age when I had a similar situation at least.


Fe_fe t1_iuqgmeu wrote

Hey, my heart breaks for you. I am sorry for what those cruel horrible boys did, but that’s what they are, children. It does not excuse them and is probably no salve to you, but I do hope you can move past this one day.

As a side note, in my time, the gay boys had the in with the pretty girls/ I mean maybe revenge isn’t in your wheelhouse right now, but getting some girls on your side could make for some entertaining shenanigans down the line


SanchoVillaWNS t1_iuqjxyx wrote

I wanna kick that little groups ass for you. That's some fucked up shit. I mean the dude did make out with you and stuff so I mean come on. Dude is probably bi himself and just trying to fit in with the boys. And do mean boys because men would not act like this.


jetvac22 t1_iuqlfz7 wrote

He may have popularity but I promise you it doesn’t spread far in high school I was a bit of an outcast and was constantly bullied by a girl who I knew and is a crack whore now and so it was hard to make friends because of popularity issues some pepole will look past and not care what they say because you are and always will be you and I was liked in that crowd

However most of my friends were actually a grade above me I met a few later in middle school and when I got into the high school part of my school nothing changed really and I built those bonds met new pepole in that grade and about 25% of that class atleast knew me and they’re my main friend group today even

TLDR: moral of the story if you can’t make friends in your area make a new area you will find pepole to make friends with regardless of your current mass opinion from 5-10 pepole


DitaVonPita t1_iuqj89k wrote

His mom sounds like an angel, I'm happy to hear she gave you her support. Idk if confronting him at this point is even relevant, I'd just make sure everyone is aware that this man calling you slurs actually did physical things with you, something that a straight man could never do. I may be horrible, but I would make sure everyone knows about every kiss, every hug, everything sexual that may have happened. I'd even show people pics and texts. I know it sounds terrible, but it would shift the tables in exactly 3 seconds.


saltyholty t1_iuqkch7 wrote

Best bet by far to get the necklace back is by appealing to his mum to convince him to give it back as part of an apology. The legal route is pretty shaky, and also likely to be expensive.

Best of luck to you.


andariel_axe t1_iuqqxzm wrote

nothing that is important to you now will be as important later, especially relationshsips. go to a therapist and get over this shit, you're so young.


Lipstickcigarette t1_iuqahq0 wrote

Wow, I'm just now reading the initial story and then this update. I'm so, so sorry for what you've been put through. Frankly it's so repulsive and honestly emotionally abusive and toxic even if he's covering up to save face with his friends. Like, I'm struggling to frame in my own mind how anyone could even begin to come up with this "prank" let alone execute it from Summer till Harvest season.

Just remember that the trolls live under the bridge, but you are the rarest rose. Big sister hug 🌈❤️🧡💛💛💚💙💜


foozledaa t1_iuqfiao wrote

Did she ask him to give the necklace back? I think you need to ask her to be clear about what she has and has not tried, and what she is willing tondo to help you. Discuss whether, as his parent, she would be willing to reimburse you out of pocket so that retrieving the necklace and returning it to where it was purchased becomes her problem rather than yours.

When your child makes a mess, you clean it up. It's all well and good helping you move on but you have friends and family to support you through that and you'll get over him in your own time at your own pace. It can't be rushed. She needs to understand that this might turn into a legal battle that she and his father are going to be paying for anyway, so she might as well settle out of court.


empress118 t1_iuqg0ri wrote

Children are fucking horrible, its one of the reasons I'm seriously debating homeschooling but having them do extracurriculars when i have children (aside from the other benefits to homeschooling). I remember being in 9th grade, writing a heartfelt apology for a fuck up i did, like poured my heart into the note to make up with my exfriend who wouldn't talk to me (i tried to get them to physically talk to me) and in one class i saw my note being passed around the room and everyone snickering and shit. People are terrible, they have no regard for what they do and how it affects other people.

You can definitely be proud of standing up for yourself and going to his mom and trying to get justice for yourself. I hope this works out for you in the end and I'm sorry you've had to go through this.


LightofNew t1_iuqhrv4 wrote

Ah man this sucks.

You're not gonna recover from this one anytime soon, and you have nothing to prove to anyone else. Take your time, the shame and self hate is going to be overwhelming but that's to be expected. The only thing you did wrong was love someone who showed you love, don't forget that.

Honestly, saying something isn't worth it. If you are not trying to save the friendship then it's not worth your time. He won't listen, he thinks he did something funny. Maybe one day he will learn and feel empathy for other people but from what you said here he is a sociopath and wouldn't understand a word you say to him.


1qsc t1_iuqjbln wrote

this is an all round awful situation and i know that you’re hurting, but please don’t feel like you need the necklace back to feel whole again. getting it back would be just, but i know how much i would fixate on something like that and honestly it sounds like it might be a long shot. maybe better to acknowledge to yourself that you’ve done everything right, and to find solace in that.

you’ll be okay. you’re strong. talk to people. if it’s available to you, talk to a school counsellor or a professional psychologist or psychiatrist. it will help you process things. otherwise, focus on the support network you have. your dad sounds like a great guy. teenage breakups suck, especially when it feels like no one understands. but you’ll be okay. it gets better.


Takaithepanda t1_iuqk5n2 wrote

I'm sorry this happened to you.

What these people did to you is really fucked up.


KuraiSagure t1_iuqq8yl wrote

I’m not from the US so i don’t really know your school system but i have to ask you’re both 18 right? and in High School? at what age does High school end? In my country 18 is the end of school and start work. sorry for off topic comment


mrgabest t1_iuqquar wrote

'Love' doesn't mean the same thing to everyone. It's just a noise we make to try to relate to each other's inscrutable emotions. What we call 'love' is affected by our neural configuration, childhood experiences, first relationship, being cheated on, and so forth.

But it is possible that in 20 years you'll look back with the perspective of having been in a 10 year relationship and think that this wasn't real love. Who knows.


crwlngkngsnk t1_iuqr01d wrote

When you're your age you're overrun with hormones. You're just coming into adulthood, you're just starting to figure out the world. Everything feels desperately important.

People telling you it isn't love are probably a little bit older. They're right, but it's hard for you to understand that now.
We all went through it, people tried to help us. We mostly didn't listen or understand. We all had to learn for ourselves. We all try to help the next generation, they mostly don't listen or don't understand...rinse and repeat.
Anyways, the fella you love doesn't exist, the fella you love was a character played by a skilled actor who also happens to be a shithead in his real life. Yeah, it hurts, bad. It will pass, I promise. I was madly, desperately, eternally, and truly in love with at least two or three different girls in high school. I can hardly remember them, these girls I agonized over.
So...I guess just hang in there, life gets better.
You sound like you've got a pretty good head on your shoulders, so come away from this a little wiser. You don't have to be scared of the world, but it's okay to look at things and people with a critical eye. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve and don't spend money like water. People will take advantage.


sungayray t1_iuqtupq wrote

This may come off as a bit rude but it gives me the vibe from the comic heartstoppers or something but like the bad ending. I'm sorry this happened but hopefully things get better!


Kurokotsu t1_iuqib4n wrote

Check r/legaladvice. Keep yourself going. It sounds like his mother is going to be a good rock for you now, if you need it. Stay safe, even if it means laying low for a bit. And remember to breathe. Things suck, but at least you found out who he was now, instead of months or years later. And if you need anyone to talk to, you've got plenty of people on here who can lend you an ear or a shoulder.


cheven20 t1_iuqfqge wrote

Man I would have made the nastiest stories I could think of about that dude.


Economy_Leek123 OP t1_iuqh55w wrote

I’m trying my best to be the mature and bigger person. But I really really want too.


cheven20 t1_iuqhc82 wrote

I really commend you for that. I hate having to play the role of the bigger person, but fuck that guy and his friends for being cruel to you. Whatever route you take I’m sure you’ll make the right decision though. Keep your head up my guy. Everything will be ok.


Dapper_Monitor_2313 t1_iuqkd6b wrote

I’m impressed by your mindset about all of this. My two cents would be to try your best to be as kind as possible to both him and the whole jock friend group.

They want to humiliate you and see your pain. Do your best to not give them that satisfaction and you will come out on top.

In the long run he will carry the weight of his actions forever and if you continue to be the excellent and mature person that you are then that shame won’t be a burden for you. Love is always right, and kindness can often be the best response. Plus if you just seem nonchalant about it they will be confused and rightly embarrassed, maybe they might even realize homophobia doesn’t have a place in this world.

Thanks for the update and I hope the best for you


horitaku t1_iuqq63t wrote

I was one of those saying it wasn't love. I'm still saying it now. I KNOW it feels like it, because I had a similar phase with a dude, feeling like he was the fucking one. I was 18. Stupid. No fucking idea what love was, at all, but I thought I'd know it when it hit me. I did. It wasn't with him. He's a distant, pale memory to me now.

Love is shared. I get the feeling you strongly adored him, and he didn't reciprocate. It's not weird we don't believe you were actually in love yet. I've seen a lot of young relationships burn hot and fizzle out even faster. Tack the LGBTQ+ tag and it can go faster still. The number of times I've heard my darling coworker say something like, "I think I've found something really special in him." after a couple of weeks is astounding.

I fell in love with my husband in roughly 3 months. So same sort of time frame. So it's possible, I guess, but...real love...I mean real incredibly rare, especially when you're young...18, 19 is young as fuck. Keep your guard up against your emotions, is all I'm saying. A lot of them might be more fleeting than you think, and you'll only damage yourself more by dwelling on them instead of letting them process and pass.


Economy_Leek123 OP t1_iuqqqwt wrote

Can you truly call something real love if it doesn’t go both ways? I believed it was real true love, I know everyone doubts it. I know I’m still young, but my feelings were real. His may have been fabricated, but mine were as genuine as my naivety.


SeaLeggs t1_iuqnnvb wrote

Pure fantasy


Economy_Leek123 OP t1_iuqoa9r wrote

Respectfully, it isn’t, I’m sorry my writing skills aren’t perfect. But if you’d like to you can dm me and I can offer a bit more insight ❤️


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drippingwetcooch t1_iuqfhg6 wrote

I say dox him and his socials


sarcastic_boii t1_iuqismt wrote

what’d be the point? he knows where the guy lives, so it would be both pointless and illegal


flashspur t1_iuqb8kf wrote

Awful nasty straight people


DaisyInc t1_iuqkglt wrote

> Dated a guy for months

> Poured his heart out to his boyfriend

> Made out with him dozens of times



IllyrioMoParties t1_iuqqnk0 wrote

kek, I missed the part about them kissing

althought "Disney rom com" was a bit of a giveaway

Still, well played OP, I hope you can trick some of these people into sending you cash to pay for "your legal bills"