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L31FY t1_ixu146l wrote

You aren't the wrong one here. They mistreated you and should have done better as parents. Telling someone wasn't wrong. If something happens to them it's on them, not you. That is consequence of their actions. Nothing about the words emotional abuse or neglect is untrue if what you said is accurate. Don't try to clean up and hide stuff. Don't lie about things because you think it'll help you. If they're hurting you and doing this, that needs to stop and maybe just stop trusting them so much since they clearly don't understand what family is supposed to mean and they don't actually seem to care as long as you pay up.

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Throwaway2756655101 OP t1_ixu1aen wrote

The thing is i also have a 10 year old sibling that lives with us, and I don’t want anything to happen to them

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SkyScamall t1_ixuizl6 wrote

No running water in a house with a ten year old is also grounds for reporting them. Your sibling doesn't deserve that. Even if they're treated like royalty. A kid deserves to be able to take a shower and have their clothes washed.

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L31FY t1_ixu1x0k wrote

Is is better that they end up with emotional issues and abused? They don't just take you away. A lot happens first. Think about any of the things that you went through and if you'd want more of that for them. Probably not. Your parental figures are going to have to clean up their behavior and that's not any of your fault if they make bad choices. Those choices affected both of you and will continue to if they don't get it together.

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Throwaway2756655101 OP t1_ixu2902 wrote

They don’t treat my sibling like they treat me though, they’re practically the golden child and my mom chose to raise them right and unlike she raised me. My sibling wasn’t old enough to remember the terrible things their dad/my old step-dad did to me and my older sibling (who’s been living with my bio dad for 6 years now) so they’ve been left with no mental scars or depression, and my mom and her boyfriend baby them. At this point they’re like my moms boyfriends real child

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jenkinsleroi t1_ixug8ou wrote

Based on what you said it sounds like it still is not a good environment for your sibling to grow up in.

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L31FY t1_ixvfubn wrote

It definitely creates other issues even if they're sheltered from the bad things they experienced although I guarantee people hear stuff through walls or from other rooms. Kids also know way more about situations than they ever let on until someone asks usually because they're afraid they're in trouble or someone they care about is. You end up with not knowing how to take care of yourself at all and being entitled if you aren't disciplined appropriately or taught what to do and not do like if you've had it all done for you always then you simply expect it then won't grow up any. I don't think that mindset should have had a ton of time to set into someone who is ten yet so plenty of time to change that and not let it happen before they turn into a dysfunctional person due to the lack of parenting. The obvious issue still lies in that there was literally not running water and that is a basic thing anyone should have. It's not overreacting that child services is involved at all here to at least check in.

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YourLocalWhiteKid t1_ixulmg6 wrote

I promise you it won't last for them and the niceness will fade overtime. This is your chance to do something about it before it gets worse for you or others

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jenkinsleroi t1_ixunh05 wrote

Or, they could overindulge the sibling who then becomes an insufferable and generally messed up person in a completely different way.

At the very least, they will not serve as good models of responsibility.

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KarasLegion t1_ixv2spt wrote

I promise you are wrong. First of all they see how you are treated and I'm sure have been around to hear the "yelling matches." And what you think is being treated better, you may be unable to tell that they are still not being treated well, and are probably being treated wrong in another way.

You did nothing wrong here. And if cps deems everything okay, which sadly... They probably will even if they aren't okay. Then it's w.e. But your siblings will still likely have different scars.

But maybe we're wrong, and they will be perfectly fine. Of course I hope that and it's okay for you to hope that but don't let yourself be blind to the possibility. Remember individual perception matters.

And even your guardians may not realize how bad they are if they were treated badly. "I'm better than my parents were" doesn't mean much sometimes.

Trust me... I know.

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Itrampleupontheeye t1_ixvlpis wrote

Not having running water and living with abusers IS ALREADY HAPPENING to them. Being treated as a golden child is ALSO abuse. The bad thing is already going on. CPS isn't there to rip kids away from their homes and shove them into boxes to be tortured, they're there to help your parents get their shit together and be actual, good, responsible, caregivers.

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tompba t1_ixu2fns wrote

If they are going to become a depressive and suicide person like you they are better in any place for sure. Hard truth to swallow, but your parents aren't good people for what they did to you.

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Trouble_in_Mind t1_ixv7d0p wrote

Yeah, COS intervention might actually be better for your sibling so they don't go through any of the same abuse you do. This isn't a TIFU. You did the right thing by talking with your therapist, and they did the right thing by trying to protect you and your sibling. Your mom and her bf are literally abusive, based on your description, and your therapist thinks so too.

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