Submitted by myir4 t3_z6hvwj in tifu

This happened a few months back but I wasn't really ready to talk/write about it up until now...

A few years back I met this girl "J" online. She was really nice and we started talking up to a point where we would do late-night calls to tell each other about our days. She would go on about how she didn't feel safe with her boyfriend back then or about problems with her father, while I finally had someone to tell about my day. We would give each other advice or just be there to listen. It started off as a great friendship and someday it just got more than that. We started meeting up as often as we could (we lived 250km apart) and eventually got together after she dumped her allegedly abusive boyfriend for me. (I never felt bad for him up until now. She told me all about how he hit her and I actually thought he didn't deserve better than to be left)

Anyways after we got together COVID struck, which in our case was pretty much the best thing that could've happened. My school allowed all students to work from home to reduce the risk of infection. I spent the majority of the following months at her place. We got to spend a ton of time together, I cooked for us, helped her care for her horse and even cleaned the place sometimes. Some people told me to stop doing so much for her but I guess one could argue I was kind of blinded by love.

It went on like that for one and a half years. We started to argue a lot. She was getting really jealous about everything I did and every girl I talked to, while she kept meeting with her male friends. I was never the one to tell her what to do as I fully trusted her but it kind of hurt that she couldn't give that trust back the same way. Right around that time, in the Fall of 2021, her company sent all the apprentices to vocational school for around 4 weeks. I took the train back home as she wouldn't be home Mondays to Fridays anyways and I had to get some work done with my classmates for our final paper.

I tried to keep in touch as well as possible with texts and calls but J seemed to grow more distant each and every day. At first, she stopped replying to my texts right away, then she stopped taking my calls and we only got to talk to each other for a few minutes every other day. What made that situation even worse is that our conversations got pretty one-sided. She only talked about herself and her time at that school anymore. How she had met this great new girl (who tbh with everything she told me about her was pretty much a complete slut) with whom she really got along with. She talked about how they would spend the night in the boys' rooms and how her friends would get drunk together. (She assured me that she'd stay faithful and wouldn't drink) We got into so many fights that I finally lost count. We decided to take a break then and there.

It only took a few weeks for both of us to actually realise how we missed one another. We got talking again and she apologized many times and so did I. As we couldn't see each other again until after Christmas, we decided to spend the time like in the days we met and played a lot online together. At the same time, I also wrote my final paper with two of my closest friends (let's call them "P" and "M"). It was shortly before Christmas when I first introduced P to my girlfriend J. We all shared the same passion for the same games and it was fun in our little group of three.

Christmas came around and I drove down to J to finally meet up with her and make up for good in person. We had a great time for a few days and when I had to drive home for new-years, she asked if she could come with to spend more time with me and to meet my best friend in person as she was apparently curious about the person who she was talking with for the last weeks. I agreed and we got into my car. A few hours later we arrived at my house and spend a nice evening together, taking a late-night drive and watching people start fire-crackers at midnight.

The next day we met up with my best friend to watch a movie. That is where everything went south. What I didn't realise was that she was holding hands with him the whole movie long. When we finally got home that night, she sat down on the bed and told me that she was apparently very sorry but she had held hands with him the whole movie long. She told me she didn't want it. That he just grabbed her hand and wouldn't let go and that as he was my best friend she wouldn't want to piss him off. She told me that it was just holding hands and I wouldn't have anything to worry about.

That day my world shattered. I just didn't know it yet. I didn't want to believe it myself and she was really good at manipulating people so I just believed her when she bombarded me with so many apologies and nearly started to cry (in hindsight: at least she acted that way). I sat down next to her, comforted her and told her that it was alright and I wasn't mad at her. Which I actually wasn't. I wasn't mad. I was devastated.

We already planned a billiard night the next day and I didn't want to cancel on short notice because of that and it happened again. Same thing. I got home and she broke down telling me he grabbed her hand again. I was actually pretty stupid to not do anything about it tbh. I was never one for confrontation and was always a shy person back then.

We met again the day after because we had already bought tickets for the spa. I made some slight hints at my best friend that he should keep his distance because she was my girlfriend and I actually thought we worked it out and it was just a misunderstanding on his part that he didn't know we were back together after our break. We got to talk about some popular sights near J's place and how it would be totally worth it for him to visit them someday. He mistook that as an invitation and told us he'd be happy to accompany us on our drive back to her place if we would take him on a tour and show him around the beautiful landscape.

As he was my best friend and I didn't want to hurt him and I thought he would finally keep his distance from J, I couldn't bring it over me to tell him he couldn't come. So the next day we drove back to her place in the middle of the night. Just us three. We arrived around midnight. I was pretty exhausted that night because of the four-hour drive (I was the driver the whole time and we didn't take a break). Anyways when we arrived J told me she was too tired to search for bed sheets and as her dad wouldn't allow someone to sleep on their couch, we should just sleep in one bed. The three of us. Honestly, I couldn't have argued with her even if I wanted to as I fell asleep right there when I lay down on the bed.

--v-- NSFW part starts here --v--

I can tell you that no matter what you fear could happen in the darkness, what monsters could attack you, nothing comes close to the horror you feel when you wake up at 3 AM to your girlfriend moaning. I turned around and saw her cuddled close to his chest, rubbing herself on him in her sleep. I thought I was dreaming. I was imagining things. I got sick and ran to the bathroom and had to vomit while having my first-ever mental breakdown. I never knew you could cry without feeling anything but starting from that day I noticed that you can and that it's way worse than when you actually feel the sadness. I was shaken and couldn't get the picture out of my head. I ran to my car, cranked the music to maximum volume and just sat there crying, punching my wheel. For about two hours straight until my best friend knocked at my window asking if everything was alright. I did what everyone in that situation would do and kindly told him to fuck the hell off. When I calmed down I went back in and confronted J. She broke down in tears and told me she was not responsible for what she did in her sleep and that she probably subconsciously thought that it was me and not him. We argued and argued until the morning when we went to the stables to care for her horse. We decided to still take my best friend for the trip to one of the tourist attractions. As this was the first ever day I was feeling that low, I didn't really know how to handle it and just stepped on the gas on the way there. We were doing 150 km/h on country roads and close to 100 km/h in local towns we passed through. All the time I hoped we would crash and all die. For some inexplicable reason, we actually survived the trip even though I did come close to slipping off the road on more than one occasion. I can still remember them both. The fear in their eyes and how they wouldn't dare to say a thing. How they'd cling to the seats and the door.

Before me and my former best friend, P, drove home that night, I got into an argument with J again and set her an ultimatum. To break off contact with P and never talk to him again. That was the first time I did something like this. After a lot of discussions, she finally told me she'd break off contact with him because I was way more important to her than he was. She asked to talk to him one last time in private to tell him that. Well as I later got to know she told him the exact same thing as soon as I left the room. That she would break off contact with me because P was more important to her even though she only knew him for about a week at that time.

Jumping forward in time... I and P both agreed to break off contact with her because she tried to play us that badly. She apparently also assured him the whole time that we weren't a couple anymore and that I would be totally okay with everything that happened between them. Furthermore, she was also the one who did the first step on the whole holding hands thing and the cuddling at night.

I admitted myself to the psych ward because I felt like I couldn't go on like this anymore and because I was devastated. By the time I got out and back to school, I realised that P was still chatting with J and that they were meeting in secret behind my back.

I broke down completely. I started cutting and tried to kill myself more than five times in the following three months. I got admitted into psych six more times, one of them being because of a sleep medication overdose and several times because of suicide threats in front of teachers, family, cops and 112 operators. The last time I got admitted was because I tried to jump off a building (an EMT managed to grab me and save my life that day). My best friend stood by and watched. The worse I got the more he kept his distance until he finally broke off contact completely.

Don't trust the people you think you trust the most because they'll hurt you the most.

~ I am 20M, currently in therapy and starting to do better. Step by step.

My former best friend P started dating J back then and they're still happily together and both broke off contact with me


TL;DR TIFU by introducing my best friend to my girlfriend only to find them cheating on me a week later. They then broke off contact with me completely and are now happily together



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Spiritual_Poo t1_iy1h1xr wrote

Damn son, stay in therapy for the time being. Also eventually you're going to look back on the whole thing and realize she played you from day one. You got used, hard. That shit is wrong. Entirely possible your best friend is a few months or a year or two behind you taking the same ride. Honestly she sounds like a maneater, be glad you got out when you did and hope your friend gets clear of her someday too.


-Nordico- t1_iy34fv0 wrote

Wtf did I just read


GladiatorMax t1_iy1pxtf wrote

some people


shakesula9 t1_iy2iu3k wrote

What a ride that was.

OP believe me, both of them are complete fucking losers. You probably already know this but that bitch cannot be trusted and your ex homie is a straight bitch. I’m shocked he never stopped to ask if you were cool with it but he was probably the first time he’s been touched by a girl.

Focus on your mental health and building yourself a good life.Hopefully one day you’ll look back and be glad things didn’t work out since neither of them and be trusted. Lastly don’t think for a second that shit will workout between them if you feel any better hearing that.


keidian_ t1_iy2mvcj wrote

OP is also a loser. If you just accept all the BS like that you're simping. Every sane person would've went for a confrontation much earlier and realize they're both batshit crazy. If you gettin played you letting yourself be played. It's that simple. Always choose yourself over others first.


blackvalley21 t1_iy2rjns wrote

I think your intention is in the right place but with the context of the story your grand generalizations are causing the downvotes. Calling him crazy and implying he’s insane is not correct. He’s clearly an inexperienced young man that was dealing with an expert narcissist and manipulator, likely with her own issues she takes out on other people. My first girlfriend in high school was very much like this; too many stories to count. Many of us can look back and kick ourselves for the times we allowed ourselves to be used and/or abused. Hopefully OP is getting the help he needs because the suicide attempts and self harm over a breakup point to bigger issues.


Corvus_Manufaktura t1_iy2vmvd wrote

>the suicide attempts and self harm over a breakup point to bigger issues

Not to mention the driving thing, which is utterly insane.

"All the time I hoped we would crash and all die. For some inexplicable reason, we actually survived the trip even though I did come close to slipping off the road on more than one occasion. I can still remember them both. The fear in their eyes and how they wouldn't dare to say a thing. How they'd cling to the seats and the door. "

This is just so so so messed up, especially how very few people seem to take issue with it in the comments. He explicitly says he was hoping they'd all die; he was ready to kill two people over an affair. "Bigger issues" seems like an understatement the size of Montana (which, from what I know of US geography, isn't small)


MCWatch31 t1_iy34ph3 wrote

Well killing them both probably wouldn't have been that bad but he was also endangering other people on the road.


Corvus_Manufaktura t1_iy34srx wrote

I'm sorry, KILLING two people over infidelity? What kind of medieval shit is that?


El_Gato93 t1_iy2wrpn wrote

People like you are the reason why Suicide rates are so high amongst men! Never taking a man’s feelings seriously and telling them to “man up”… homie got betrayed by not only the girl he loved and formed a bond with but by his best friend as well! That’s rough


keidian_ t1_iy32lf4 wrote

You mean he's gonna become a real Chad?


Spiersy_ t1_iy2htlo wrote

You're still young, sucks that this hit you so hard, but please remember the best revenge is to live well. These 2 don't deserve another thought. They're trash humans and you deserve better.

Good luck in future OP!


that-dudes-shorts t1_iy2e37y wrote

I'm sorry you went through that OP. I hope you are well surrounded, with a great therapist and your family. I hope you learn to stand your ground and set strong boundaries.

You don't need J and P in your life. It's highly probable that she fucks him over too at some point. If he comes crawling back to you, don't answer. What you went through is enough of a cautionary tale.


Jango160 t1_iy2jxcy wrote

As soon as the story started off with her having an "abusive" ex and they broke up then started dating OP, I knew it was going to be a dark cheating tale. While this situation may seem different remember lads, if they're willing to cheat with you, they're willing to cheat on you.


Bruceflix t1_iy2rp3k wrote

That's a lesson we all learn. Eventually


BakingMadman t1_iy2h6l4 wrote

Exactly. Karma will get them both. guaranteed!


gastrognom t1_iy2m6it wrote

They will both just repeat what they've already done. She will cheat on her partner with someone she barely knows and he will betray his friends.


SophisticatedTitan t1_iy2nwlr wrote

Them breaking contact with you was the best thing that happened to you bro. I've been in a similar situation and I can tell you that you can definitely only go up from here. Killing yourself over some dumb bitch who doesn't know what she wants and a backstabbing bitchboy of a friend would be a greater loss than any one of their lives.

Keep moving forward and know that you're not alone. Many people have gone through this in one way or another and I can tell you that you will get through this.


Nicura200 t1_iy33kce wrote

I gotta say, having been in pretty much the same situation, the worst thing was them keeping contact. It made me jealous, miserable, pathetic, all the bad things. I don't know how he even has friends after the shit he ended up saying to me lol.


i_should_be_coding t1_iy30ici wrote

>That day my world shattered

>We already planned a billiard night the next day and I didn't want to cancel on short notice

>We met again the day after because we had already bought tickets for the spa

Dude, wtf. Your world was shattered, but you kept meeting up with him repeatedly after?

>He mistook that as an invitation and told us he'd be happy to accompany us

Yeah, he didn't mistake anything. The best reply was "No, that's alright. We want some alone time :)". If your friend can't accept that you and your girlfriend need time alone, you need to seriously reconsider that friendship.

>J told me she was too tired to search for bed sheets and as her dad wouldn't allow someone to sleep on their couch, we should just sleep in one bed.

And that sounded reasonable to you? That you were doing it because her dad would prefer two men sleeping in her bed, one of which was nearly a stranger who was making unwanted physical contact towards her, to someone sleeping on the couch? And that she felt this was the right thing to do? And that in that sleeping arrangement she was sleeping in the middle between you guys?

>I did what everyone in that situation would do and kindly told him to fuck the hell off.

That is absolutely not what everyone in that situation would do.

>We decided to still take my best friend for the trip to one of the tourist attractions

Dude WHAT. Your friend has physical sexual contact with your girl, in your presence, you have a mental breakdown over it and argue through the night, and the next day you still bring him along? I'm struggling to imagine anyone doing that, honestly. The only plausible explanation I have is that you were paying for things and that's why they needed you there. It definitely sounds like you're the driver for your friend and his girl, not the other way around.

The next part was pretty damn dark, but I think you really have to understand that you were being absolutely blind to all the warning signs.

Stay in therapy, and don't say things "Don't trust anyone", because that wasn't the fuckup. The fuckup was burying your head in the sand and ignoring every red flag along the road until you fell off the damn cliff.


Corvus_Manufaktura t1_iy2libs wrote

Isn't it strange how there's only ONE commenter pointing out how fucked up it is that OP took two other people on an almost suicide run in his car?

That's... Fucked up. That's more fucked up what either of his "friends" did to him. Cheating is pretty messed up, lying to your best friend is pretty messed up but taking two people hostage and putting them in mortal danger because one cheated on you with the other is SO MUCH WORSE.


throwawayfae112 t1_iy2qqk0 wrote

Agree. Everyone in this story is an overdramatic nutcase.


Corvus_Manufaktura t1_iy2s8l1 wrote

What's alarming to me is that a lot of the commenters don't believe OP's behavior is disproportionate. I mean, his story might be true or it might be a karma farm (though it's more likely that it's true), the commenters most likely mean what they say.

Makes me think a lot more people (than I initially believed) are just one cheating incident away from snapping and murdering their SO before taking themselves out. Not that I condone cheating, I think it's one of the vilest things one can do to a partner and it's way too common (and even normal in some circles) for how horrible it is but let's not pretend getting this worked up over a failed relationship is how a mentally healthy human reacts.

OP needs serious therapy for some underlying issues that were merely triggered by this incident and based on this glimpse into his mind, I wouldn't be surprised if he was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder or something similar.


avtogol t1_iy31k5t wrote

Thanks. Straight forward common-sense comments like this one often restore my faith in humanity after going through so much crap that people write.


gonza212 t1_iy32nyb wrote

If he wanted to have crashed, he would have, what he put in the text is what/how he was feeling at the time, it is normal to feel in extreme ways when you are this sad and you feel that the world is going down, the important thing is that he don't do thar(sorry for my english, i'm good in text comprensión but no writing)


Corvus_Manufaktura t1_iy333i7 wrote

He didn't just feel that way, he was driving at reckless speeds and even had some close calls. He also wanted to take two other people to the grave with himself.

No way in hell you convince me this is appropriate behavior in this situation. He wanted to crash, he was just to much of a coward to actually drive head first into a tree


Johanneskodo t1_iy2z0hh wrote

Also a 100km/h in a town is pretty much trying to kill an innocent person.

What they did was fucked up and if he beat his „friend“ up I would understand but don‘t put this on innocent bystanders.


augstd t1_iy2urgl wrote

Seriously! It's kinda creepy how many people are co soloing op when he did shitty things too. As well as slut shaming the exs friend.


cmori3 t1_iy2mnky wrote

No more fucked up than crawling into your friend's bed and fooling around with his girlfriend while he sleeps, then asking for a cross-country ride home. I mean their behavior actually seems more irrational than his.


RedDoom87 t1_iy2se2q wrote

yeah, that's fucking cruel. fucking your best friend's girlfriend while he is sleeping right beside you isn't just cheating and lying, that's a psychological attack.


markwell9 t1_iy2n7ld wrote

Nah. You apparently dont find loyalty and honesty in enough regard.


Arrasor t1_iy2tlfp wrote

There's a reason in every single country out there, endangering someone else's life is more severely punished by law than disloyalty or dishonesty.

You apparently don't hold lives in high enough regard.


Corvus_Manufaktura t1_iy2vtu0 wrote

Yeah, this right here. Cheating is a horrible thing to do to someone, I don't condone it in the slightest but it's certainly not an offense worthy of death


Corvus_Manufaktura t1_iy2nhqh wrote

I do. But endangering someone's life over it is not okay. There's no "justice" in it, only vengeance.


idabbleoccasionally t1_iy2pocz wrote

One eye on my opps, two eyes on my friends cuz at least with my opps man knows their intentions. - Dave.


Ascan7 t1_iy33t1v wrote

> He mistook that as an invitation and told us he'd be happy to accompany us on our drive back to her place if we would take him on a tour and show him around the beautiful landscape.

Bro he was 100% conscious of what he was doing. No real friend would do the third wheel like that. He was hitting on your girl on moment 1 and you got played like a flute. You also never stood up except when you tried to kill everyone in a car accident?

Thank god you are now getting mental help. Learn to take care of yourself. Learn to stand up for yourself. Learn that no friends is always better than friends who manipulate you.

Also about that "they are now happily together"

  1. you shouldn't care. Move on. You will find better friends and a better girlfriend if you learn to value yoursef

  2. they won't be happy. She has clearly big mental issues and she's doing nothing to solve them. He sounds like a psychopath, he watched you jump off a building doing nothing? Just to get a girl? He can't make genuine bonds with people, he lacks the empathy for that. Keep him away from your life no matter what, it can only end badly.


IamMooz t1_iy2djmm wrote

A shitty situation for sure, and you were probably way too young to deal with it properly. Keep getting help mate.

It seems also that this situation was exacerbated by some underlying mental health issues you didn't know that you had. Stay on track and make sure to deal with it as you clearly have the tendencies of destruction.

Best of luck!


Motor_Ad709 t1_iy2f3ss wrote

You shouldn’t hold people hostage in a moving fucking car, that’s terrifying. Hope you get the help you need.


druid_slay3r t1_iy2u3pq wrote

did you mean tifu by almost murder/suiciding me and my friends?


Al3x_of_Rivia t1_iy33v4d wrote

I don't want to sound insensitive, since this is a possibly very f'd up situation, but OP is giving off some really strong incel vibes


shace616 t1_iy347xa wrote

Yeah story could use a couple trigger warnings as well. Went from 0-100 real fast.


surgeryboy7 t1_iy2yxao wrote

I'm sorry but WTF were you thinking? after the first hand holding you should have confronted the best friend, then it happened again and you still let him hang with you and your GF, and then to top it off you let him and your GF sleep in the same bed together? Then they had sex with you right next to you( I call BS on her being asleep) and you still stay with her?


dead_PROcrastinator t1_iy2v1lv wrote

Jesus Christ what a dumbass. OP you are a nutcase. You held two people hostage in a car driving 150. I hope you do a lot of growing up and self reflection before you jump into another relationship. And have some self respect for god's sake, you never should've tolerated their shitty behavior.


dillonwren t1_iy2mzq8 wrote

My best mate fucked my girl too. Its real fucked up shit.


Mediterraneancalma t1_iy2xhix wrote

Dude no offense, do u have any self esteem? There are many breaking points in ur story and you somehow missed all of em


VictoriousssBIG23 t1_iy34t4s wrote

You're still very young, and just learned the golden rule of relationships: if they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you. Even if her ex was abusive, she was still dating him when she started hitting on you. She sounds like a "relationship jumper" and likely wanted to have a guy waiting in the wings before officially ending things with that guy. That just happened to be you. It's likely that she wanted to end things with you, too, for a while, but didn't want to do so until she had someone else to fall back on. P gave her the perfect excuse for that. They may look happy now, but believe me when I say that she'll do the same thing to him, too. She sounds very emotionally immature and will likely repeat the same pattern over and over again until she goes to therapy to sort through her attachment issues.

When she eventually cheats on P, because she will, he'll probably reach out to you. He'll tell you that you were right about her and cry over how badly she burned him. He'll probably try to "repair" his friendship with you by blaming her for manipulating him and tearing you two apart. Don't fall for it. Any friend willing to betray you the way he did is not a good friend to have in your life. They both took advantage of you here. Grieve the friendship and don't let him back in. Don't let her try to come back in your life either when this relationship inevitably falls apart. Take this as a lesson and grow from it.


thegeeklydotnet t1_iy2hwd5 wrote

OP is a goddamn dumbass for entertaining the girl for so long. Talk about thinking with your dick..


Jejking t1_iy2yndf wrote

Mate, you're wayyy too harsh here. Especially if it's a first relationship, this thing can become your whole world and you are willing to do anything to make it work. Blinded by love, OP said it himself.


IM_UR_HUCKLE_BEE t1_iy2zntl wrote

After the movie night, it's certainly his fault. You can say what you want but any self respecting person would've ended it then and there.


captaingamergab2 t1_iy2g6z2 wrote

Why'd you have to call her friend a slut? That was a free insult and totally unnecessary. Half-read after that. It really sucks, you sound broken. Working on yourself and leaving all of that behind is the only way forward though.


Born4thJuly t1_iy1got3 wrote

It's better they are happy together and you can move on than them concealing it from you long after you've changed major life decisions for that person. Heres your karma, She'll do it to him too don't worry. Sry that happened to you. Happens more than you'd like to know.


Lined_the_Street t1_iy1hgok wrote

Ouch this is one of the worst ways to discover an incompatibility with a partner. But hey! Now you can find someone better, both in the best friend department and the girlfriend department.

I hope life gives you better experiences soon!


Damneasy t1_iy328g3 wrote

"an incompatibility"??? Is that what you call abusive, manipulative and cheating?


Nicura200 t1_iy33fp2 wrote

"oh boy golly, cheating and abuse sure is a bad way to find out about an incompatibility"

sounds like cheater, abuser, and manipulater talk lmao


OMGoblin t1_iy2s0sk wrote

You're taking a bad situation and making it way worse with your self-harming. You're not getting back at them like you want to, you're just hurting yourself.


HirokiTakumi t1_iy33x81 wrote

While I agree that this is the wrong approach, people don't generally self harm as a way to get back at anyone... They do it as a way out of this whole ride.


y6rEPnqRsSt7F9rX t1_iy1vjqf wrote

Been through the same thing bro but the only difference in my story is that I beat my best friend up


Bdubzs-_- t1_iy243v2 wrote

Was it worth it?


y6rEPnqRsSt7F9rX t1_iy2bo02 wrote

It was very much took everything out on him left nothing


shakesula9 t1_iy2jd9r wrote

Probably not the best message to send to this young fellow but I’m glad you felt better lol


paradajz666 t1_iy30tsc wrote

Are you from the balkans or eastern Europe? We handle those things like that. Anyway I´m against violence but damn I would definetly do the same.


DOPT t1_iy2rdv5 wrote

Learn from your mistakes, realize you're a bitch, man up and move on


IM_UR_HUCKLE_BEE t1_iy2zp2i wrote

Hol' Up


DOPT t1_iy33qh8 wrote

Only thing holding on shoulda been OP's nuts when his friend invited him self to the SPA trip and slept next to his girl


_Vaporwav3 t1_iy2r5dj wrote

that was a lot for A 20 MALE. no offense but bro that was dramatic as hell, I felt like I watched a whole fuckin movie. But still how can a person do things like that while sleeping. I just dont get it. Be strong dude


KasreynGyre t1_iy2wus6 wrote

If your girlfriend cheats on you with your best friend neither of them were either.


bubsp5 t1_iy2v8a1 wrote

Bro...... imma be honest........... I don't think she was sleep and there was deff dick in her


SpaceZombiRobot t1_iy2ylop wrote

Dude I am 43, and once upon a time I was 20 as well and guess what? I went through similar shit if not worst. At that age we do not have the mental fortitude to deal with such betrayal and manipulation. The only advice I have for you, be in love with yourself the most, think of your parents, siblings or whoever is close to you before you think of ending your life. Grab your fucking psychosis by the throat, its nothing but "How could she do this to me". If your emotions are unchained go on a treadmill and run. Your brain is overcome with excess fucky hormones, workout to generate the good happy hormones. If its legal and you can handle it smoke a reefer (nothing harder than that). Your life is not just one hoe, you have to live to see the aliens invade earth and lizard people come out in the open to defend the planet.


ProfetF9 t1_iy2qq12 wrote

idk man, hope you are ok but this is way to exagerated from start to buttom. I know mental health is nothing to be joked about but you're not the first to be cheated on or the last.

People are shit and you're 20, i'm praying you can find your peace and live a happy life. Be strong.


el_cul t1_iy2pq7g wrote

I'd love to hear their side of the story. I'm guessing it's different.

Just move on and leave them to it anyway.


IanFoxOfficial t1_iy2wax1 wrote

Damn. I wish you well. Stay in therapy.

But these people are fucked up and not your friends.

I would advise to be more strict and not ignore the red flags but address them as soon as you encounter them in order to not let them pile up and let people take more advantage of you in the future.

The male friends and you not allowed to have female friends was already a 'nope'. But it's hard to see clearly when feelings are in play.


ml242 t1_iy2pcx9 wrote

mistakes were made


coupl4nd t1_iy346rp wrote

> didn't feel safe with her boyfriend back then

Don't need to read any more. Story as old as the hills. She leaves "that guy" for you. And then you for someone else, always playing out the same narrative...


Enano0086 t1_iy29644 wrote

You've made the mistakes we're conditioned to make with lack of experience, learn and move forward. You make mistakes and you fail, and sometimes you get heartbroken, it is what it is.

You're not the first and you're not going to be the last this happens to.

With your emotions and feelings in mind, (in the nicest way possible) stop being a fucking loser and stop crying about it. Feel the hurt, that's fine, but attempting suicide over this is nonsense, you will learn to see this.

Use whatever emotion you feel and turn it into something productive, hit the gym, work on a business, find new skills to learn, look inward and find where you're lacking and fix it NOW or you are doomed to fail forever.


RenzoARG t1_iy2kl6q wrote

All that text to say: "My friend has no codes".


ixramuffin t1_iy2t2yt wrote

Terrible. I'm so sorry.

>Don't trust the people you think you trust the most because they'll hurt you the most.

However, this is not a sentence to live by. Anyone would get trust issues from what happened to you, but I hope you get the help needed to work through it.


thatsoundthough t1_iy1oxgj wrote

The petty shit inside me says you should reach out to her, have sex with her and then tell P about it and cut off all contact. However, the thinking me says that'd probably hurt you more than either of them.


shakesula9 t1_iy2jem1 wrote

This is how forensic file episodes are made


Jejking t1_iy2yu76 wrote

I understand where you come from, but this instance underbelly feelings are definitely wrong. No good can come from this.

Also: think about what you think while you're in bed with the girl. What would you be thinking about the whole time? I wouldn't want to have my tools anywhere near someone that caused me so much harm. And there's a chance she ends up pregnant. Why even want to risk that?


S3CTION12 t1_iy2xnre wrote

Being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, this whole story was a fucking nightmare to read. I felt like I was gonna have a panic attack. I'm really sorry man, I can't imagine how awful that must've been to go through. Fuck both of them though I hope they have a terrible falling out with eachother.


LAbigboy t1_iy2e6du wrote

Not much worse than having a friend secretly rail your ex. That's my life story, I played the same role as you. The only difference is instead of having a critical breakdown and being sent into a ward, I became jaded and never fully trusted anyone again. I also became numb to my own actions and self.


OmkarAnnayya t1_iy2xfrw wrote

You should have cut ties with her as soon as she started holding hands and shit. OP's friend is shittiest friend ever... He broke the first rule of the bro code.

I might come off as harsh here but seriously OP grow a pair.


JeffryRelatedIssue t1_iy335mx wrote

She is a manipulating whore. That guy is not your friend. You are a fucking moron for a bunch of things like saying "yeah, why don't you sleep in the middle" but most of all - puting your life on the line for a dumb bitch and an asshole.


FactoryV4 t1_iy2k2ad wrote

Good that you are seeking help. Just remember NO person on earth is worth you taking your life. Those people did you wrong. You are not to blame at all. You’re still young enough to do whatever you want to do in life. You living your best life is all you need to accomplish. Good luck.


Good_Smile t1_iy2wkhu wrote

I had a pretty similar situation, however it can't be called cheating in my case, everything was .

I needed 1.5 years to get through everything completely (we were dating 2 years), but I did not break contracts with them, even though I wanted for a while, I just realised it would get even worse if I did that. I had quite a few issues in my life and that was one of them. At the end I just realised I wouldn't be able to live my whole life with that girl anyway, we were really different and argued quite a bit as well. I said fuck it, drew a diagram what I want to achieve in this life and turns out I can live without a girl because I have a lot of stuff that I have to do to improve myself and that I can achieve solely by myself. Finding a girl for a lifetime is a lottery anyways, so I don't worry about not winning one in a while. As they say, what belongs to you will not go away. Several times later I'm happier than ever because I finally achieved something in this life and it would never happen if we never broke up, for example met a lot of new people from different countries and travelled quite a bit.

OP, it's just a bitch and an asshole, what did you lose? Consistent sex access and a person that turns out you could never trust again? It's not worth wiping your life out because of that, the world is full of great people that you will find in the future, you are only 20. Let this be the lowest point of your life, it always goes like a spiral and everything that happens happens for the best. Just believe in yourself and move on, we do not live in a fairy tale. Think about yourself primarily, and always be independent. That way you will move on much easier if someone betrays you. Cheating is a betrayal and for me personally is an instant goodbye forever.


markwell9 t1_iy2n1cr wrote

Well, sounds like a whole lot like BPD on her part. Stay strong, choose more wisely next time.


nazworld92 t1_iy2u40x wrote

Ah dude, you need to know that you didn’t know any better when you started dating this person. Trust me when I say this, you’re so much better off without either of them. You should never date a girl who broke up with her bf for you. She’ll most likely end up doing the same to you or be completely possessive. You need to focus on yourself and loving yourself. You don’t need another relationship just yet.


II_Sahil_Jane_II t1_iy2uhwq wrote

That P guy is doomed for life knowing that J whore of a woman is gonna fuck with him too someday.

You my friend, should know that these whores they come and go all you gotta do is know yourself. No one is your friend. Fuck them bitches. Stay true to the only one who matters, yourself.


amayze010 t1_iy2jw3r wrote

Love makes blind. Even though this will sound harsh but as your heart is made out of gold you needed this experience. I’ve been through similar shit and it helped me dodge alot of women and made me find my fiance. Good luck.


Aussieviking79 t1_iy2qny7 wrote

Sometimes people suck … even those that are close to you. Your still extremely young , and have many more years for further relationship/s. Main thing is don’t be hard on yourself , it’s best you find out she and your best friend don’t deserve you now rather than years later. It’s hard to forget , and the hurt is rough … but it will make you a stronger person 🙏🏻


maartenvanheek t1_iy2zbeg wrote

I'm sorry you have to go through this. In cases like this I always wonder what is the story of the ex before you...


Tootie0 t1_iy31tbs wrote

Continue to get better. She's pure trouble. She only cares about herself. I'm sorry that you went through that.


_nitd27_ t1_iy2hy3d wrote

Start going gym, it's good for your mental health!. Someone said: be a f*cking monster and then learn to control it, you need mental support so you can try dating other girls. Don't try to kill yourself because the body you have is results of millions of years of evolution and can't be wasted for a girl.


Majestic-Scale-1868 t1_iy2ndlg wrote

This was a painful read but nevertheless thank you for sharing. I hope you will heal and move on from these heartless people. I sincerely hope you can and I believe you will find the strength to, without these bastards.


AdAdventurous5657 t1_iy2v6be wrote

Stay strong brother your friend will always have to watch his back with her she is a pos


malin7 t1_iy2weuc wrote

Can never understand people like P, what does he expect is going to happen, a happy ever after?

He's in for a heartbreak just like OP, except perhaps not as severe


999uts t1_iy2y32g wrote

You are young, if this happens to you when you are in your late 20s (and know better) then its good riddance for both your ex-gf and ex-friend.


SrLam3069 t1_iy2y6o0 wrote

I know we don't know each other but I'm glad you are here to write about this and hopefully you get the closure that you so deserve. People are shit and I've been through a similar situation such as yours a few different times. Never as much in my face as yours. Be strong and keep on keepin on boss. You'll find your happy ever after out there.


Topinambourg t1_iy2z1zz wrote

First of all I'm really sorry for you. Keep on with therapy, this and time will get you much much better. A physical activity is also something that can be very helpful.

I don't think that was really a FU from your side to introduce them, they are both liars and manipulative person's, you're better off without them. The FU is more about how you let people abuse you.

I will tell you something you probably heard in therapy: you are your number one priority. Learn to say no even to people you love, instead of trying to be "nice" and afraid to hurt them. Stop doing things too much for others, especially a SO. What happens is that you do that things for people to like you, but what you do is you make them need you. You don't want that, you want people to be with you because they want not because they need. Yes it's scary because if they don't need you, it means they can leave whenever they want. And that's probably another, very classic, issue here: fear of abandonment. You are so afraid of that, that your accept and much much more than you should.

But you're doing great OP, as long as you're making progress, it's all that matters. Writing this story here is a big progress, and I'm sure it wasn't easy. Your life is just starting, things will get better and eventually you'll love yourself. Keep going 💪


ericnilla t1_iy2z89p wrote

i don't advocate violence, but i would of definitely stomped your friend.


Seccolovessugarcubes t1_iy2zrz3 wrote

This is why i don't have a GF can't betray me if you don't exist😎


draco15 t1_iy31unf wrote

My ex gf was the same type of girl. We got together at the end of her relationship(he was abusive), then she cheated on me with a friend of 10 years. They were together then for like a year. Havent talked to the friend or her since. Time will work things out, i am now in a happy 8 years old relationship. Keep your head up


One_StreamyBoi t1_iy2etw1 wrote

That shit stain isn't worth the mental time man, get yourself the help you need and come back strong. You were put on this earth for more than this!

Stay strong bro


Lord_Lamb t1_iy2lie2 wrote

No one deserves that, I hope you're doing better mate


Sayan8876 t1_iy2q0tz wrote

I would say, you dodged a bullet, he wasn't a friend and she wasn't meant to be your girlfriend either.

P.s any relationship which starts like that doesn't last 😂

I wish you op the best of luck and in the meanwhile surround yourself with good company and workout to express all the emotions


Zeptojoules t1_iy2ttov wrote

I don't think you know what dodged a bullet means. Because if he was admitted to psych ward multiple times with multiple suicide attempts and a probably ruined school life then he didn't dodge anything. He got hit by multiple trucks.


Sayan8876 t1_iy32z99 wrote

Shit I do know what it means but haven't read the whole post, i just read the TLDR 💀


philosoraptor_69 t1_iy2rajy wrote

Stay strong man. These bitches and bitch less mf means nothing to you.


cbeebiesmouse t1_iy2sdbf wrote

I’m so sorry to hear this happened to you. Feels like so much time wasted, so much energy and love wasted on someone who never deserved it.

Although they appear happy together currently, I can bet money on her doing the exact same thing to him too. You weren’t the first person she did it to and definitely won’t be the last. They both betrayed you, it’s bad enough just one doing that to you but having both at the same time is enough to burn anyones mental health down to the ground.

Your ‘best friend’ will get a visit from Karma. He did that to you knowing how much it’d hurt you, but she won’t stay loyal to him, the same thing she did for her ex and for you. He will lose in the end, he’ll lose her to someone else and he will have lost your friendship.

You will recover and I hope can look back on this situation and feel no pain. I hope you heal and be at peace, and know that maybe it was for the best in the end.


ContextRealistic3053 t1_iy2taq3 wrote

Holy hell.

All I can say is, no matter how you currently feel, you will be so much better off without both of them in your life. Take care of yourself. It sounds like you're on the right path.


tenjou00 t1_iy2tnn7 wrote

Honestly, you dodged a bullet there. Chances are down the road, your ex-gf will show her true colours. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Your ex-best friend will have to deal with her BS in the future. Even worse if they got married. You should break all contact now and avoid and decline any contact in the future, especially for reconciliation. You must be firm with your boundaries and principles. A man without boundaries and principles is not a man, he is a whimp. Always keep that in mind.

Also, you should try some reality check for yourself and learn to spot some red flags and how to deal with them like a man. This YouTube channel has tons of tips and real-life horror stories. I totally recommend you take a look at it.


sabo2205 t1_iy2tyk2 wrote

So? How do you feel now ?


RandomZombie11 t1_iy2ua7p wrote

You have so much strength to not kick his teeth in for I know I wouldn't. You will pull through this and you don't need such toxic people in your life, I wish I could give you a hug right now and tell you everything will be ok.


McBoom0 t1_iy2x3l1 wrote

OP followed your emotion too much. Moving forward work to trust your brain. No one is worth it. My ex of 4 years went behind me. Cheated me with someone twice. First one I followed your road. Love and commitment above to salvage. She said she won't do again blah blah fucking blah.

Second time I'd say yea fuck it. She did come back say she feel bad for what she did.

This is when I harden myself up. Nothing is worth youre talk health. Nothing is worth more than your happiness. Be a scumbag if you think being nice guy doesn't make you love your life to the fullest. Always know you're good from inside but you don't have to act how you feel. Put a douchebag mask on if needed. You need to be strong for yourself.


stickydick13 t1_iy2z017 wrote

I don’t know if another redditor or your therapist has talked about covert narcissism but your ex GF sounds like one. Read about them and let me know what you think. Start with basic checklists and watch some videos by Dr Ramani - go from there. Good luck friend,


nivas209 t1_iy30oq5 wrote

Op what you did with going to therapy is correct other than that damn everything else was pathetic , you knew from the very first moment of them holding hands its gone south and yet you stayed with them both. Start getting better and f#ck these bitches you will soon get better and laugh at them.


HOLDGMEBROTHERS t1_iy317c3 wrote

Glad you’re doing ok and with us. It may seem really distant and hard but it is for the best that you guys broke off. Imagine this after having kids in your life. The worst is behind you, take it as a learning and don’t carry that baggage. Start afresh when you are ready and look back in a few years like nothing happened. Good luck man!!


MrChong69 t1_iy30pul wrote

Whatever made up laws of friendship, ethics etc. you may think there exist, the ONLY valid laws are those of science and evolution finds a way to always fuck-up young male-female triangles. Always keep that in mind xD

You sleeping in bed with your gf and another boy and you not being the guy in the middle is already a big red flag btw.

It's not your fault though. Something like this is not worth to waste your life on.


ladycatgirl t1_iy31tk0 wrote

No fuck up on your end except trusting them, which is normal and hard to distinguish between horrible and nice people. Stay in therapy and gl on future meeting good peep :p


brattywafatty t1_iy30dxh wrote

If it took him over two hours to come out he slept with her. And you should've decked them BOTH. I'll be goddamned if that shit were to ever happen to me I refuse to be the good or better person. They both ending up in the hospital. I refuse to be disrespected like that bc that is the fucking moment I'd be ready to go to prison.


ckholding t1_iy2jota wrote

Hope you‘re doing better soon! U sound like a great guy


Denangan t1_iy2o5zf wrote

Forget her, or kill your feelings. Simple as


Bloody-_-King t1_iy34dkh wrote

Man.. I almost cried if I wasn't one the buss..

I'm probably like OP I would have probably done the same if I was in his shoes

"still being with her after she did that.." But not the suicide part..

ThanQ 4 telling us ur situation...

ThanQ ✨️



N4cer26 t1_iy2kad6 wrote



abyssalcrisis t1_iy2ld24 wrote

Jesus. Abuse does things to a person. I am so sorry you had to endure her abuse for as long as you did. But please, remember this: it is not your fault. I promise things will be okay. They may not be right now and it may continue to hurt for a while but it will get better.


monadyne t1_iy2ot0r wrote

>it is not your fault

Part of it IS his fault! He did not stand up for himself. He did not demand that his girlfriend behave honorably to him. He acquiesced in taking the friend along to J's home, even though the friend had already betrayed his trust.

Hopefully, he will learn the lesson from this experience, that a man must be strong and must protect his feelings against toxic friends and lovers. When he realized his girlfriend was unworthy, painful as it would have been, he should have rid himself from her forever! Same with his so-called friend. None of us should allow ourselves to be so weak that we would tolerate such disrespect.


[deleted] t1_iy2zdyc wrote

The worst thing is the unfairness in how society treats shit people when they are women versus when they are men. I have seen similar stories about men being pieces of shit to their girlfriends, and all of the society is supportive, it's full of advices and support groups for women's well-being etc, but when a man gets his shit destroyed by a manipulative woman, it's only men who support them, and it's just "you will get better with time/therapy".

Nobody gives a shit about men's struggles, because apparently it's funny and okay when women manipulate and destroy lives and relationships.


kan3b t1_iy2z860 wrote

Time for you to connect back with them for >!threesome!<


[deleted] t1_iy1ovhd wrote



myir4 OP t1_iy1pyny wrote

Oh wow, I never thought of that before. Thanks for the advice. I guess I'm instantly feeling better now


WoodenSwordsman t1_iy2b6zv wrote

Also you're really young. you'll have plenty of time to fall in and out of love again.

Remember the good bits, don't fret over the bad, everything ends.

This too shall pass.

(But also choose better friends and girlfriends. Don't be afraid to drop poor ones because we become like the people we spend time with.)


FullMoon_Escapade t1_iy2eybx wrote

This is not the miracle cure for severe depression and mental issues you think it is. 😐

"Bro, you're in physical therapy for an extreme leg injury and feel like giving up after months of trying? Just walk bro"


snabring t1_iy27xgs wrote

Why the fuck does this have up votes? Good god what an awful thing to say


sfrogerfun t1_iy2lhri wrote

How did you manage to have the time and patience to write so much in a single post? Sorry I lost patience after the second paragraph and then I scrolled to realize how long the post is!! Did someone else feel that way?


IM_UR_HUCKLE_BEE t1_iy2zk0j wrote

"She held his hand the whole movie"

Shocked Pikachu face

"She held his hand the whole billiard night"

Shocked Pikachu face

"They had sex lying next to me the whole night"

Shocked Pikachu face


Gods-Nutbucket t1_iy2pesb wrote

I’m sorry, this is gonna sound horrible, but if I were you I would have made sure I called a social worker on her and reported her for being mentally unfit to care for herself (even if she is mentally there, she’ll have to deal with it). I would then proceed to tell his parents and family how he is a good for nothing person that will betray them at the drop of a hat and take that evidence with me, turning them against him. I’d make sure life was a living nightmare of inconveniences. It wouldn’t be forever. Just long enough. Something similar happened to me, but yours takes the cake.


[deleted] t1_iy2ptl9 wrote



Sayan8876 t1_iy33zaj wrote

females making men mentally sick, huh I wonder how many times that have happened (way too many times)