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Mordyth t1_ix0bgl2 wrote

Yep. Dick move. Positive thing is you're 16 or so. This immaturity thing should wear out in a few years. Leave the girl alone. She won't want anything to do with you while she's with the other dude. The only thing you accomplished is that they'll be banging like a drummer in a rock band soon enough- and you sped up the process by forcing her hand.

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mynamesaretaken1 t1_ix0m62l wrote

You'd thinkn kids grow out of it, but there's always Trump to prove you wrong

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YungJohn_Nash t1_ix0no3o wrote

Man, I never would have been able to relate to this tale of teenage woes had it not been for your insightful political analogy. I just don't understand the world around me without relating it to politics, no matter how unrelated the matter at hand may be

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mynamesaretaken1 t1_ix0ulk5 wrote

I mean sure he's a politician, but he's also an infantile adult. I couldn't think of another as well known in the moment.

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Zaknafeyn t1_ix1drg8 wrote

I would say Kanye, but he's gone so far off the rails the last few months it might have gone from immaturity to lunacy

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quicalluc t1_ix14e87 wrote

Sounds like Felix isn’t the only manipulator in the situation. You shouldn’t intervene, girls don’t like to feel controlled, nor do they like for guys to keep trying to pursue something with them after they’ve said no. Let her make her own choices. Try to figure out if your dislike of Felix is coming from real concern or jealousy. If he’s really a bad guy, hopefully she will break up with him, but your opinion on the relationship will probably just make her annoyed with you at this point. Talk to her friends to try to see how they feel about Felix, if they also think he’s a dick they can talk to her themselves. Do some self-reflection and change your attitude if you ever want a chance. Otherwise you’re just as bad as him.

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kishers_world OP t1_ix1pz2l wrote

I talked to her friends about it and they said the same things but they said to leave it alone because even they told her getting with him is not good for her but at one point they stopped caring so I’ll do the same.

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shrekopher t1_ix1c978 wrote

Dude, did you ever think you are the bad guy in this story and Felix is the good guy?

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kishers_world OP t1_ix1f3hz wrote

I dont think im the bad guy, sure i did something selfish and messed up and i deserve all the consequences but Felix is manipulative but again this can be only in my head and he can be a great guy.

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whats-reddit17 t1_ix1p7n0 wrote

But you're also being forceful/manipulative. Trying to manipulate her into not going out with him cause you saw him as a threat, and then being forceful by texting as her to him to get them to not be together.

You could use some self reflection I think.

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Snoo_61002 t1_ix1y04t wrote

If Felix is a bad guy for being manipulative, what exactly is it that you think you did?

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kishers_world OP t1_ix1ymfv wrote

I think I stepped out of my place and did something I shouldn’t have, I didn’t know what else to do at the time since I didn’t want her to get hurt

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Snoo_61002 t1_ix1zeli wrote

You did something manipulative, which is what you're saying makes Felix a bad person.

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Morbid187 t1_ix1c9u8 wrote

You're young so I don't think your a complete POS for this, just inexperienced but...come on, dude.

A.) you didn't get "friend zoned". She simply isn't into you romantically but she thought you were a good guy & wanted to be your friend. That's a thing that will happen in life sometimes & women absolutely hate it when men just act like a friend because they hope they can be more some day. Seriously, don't do that.

B.) if you have to hold out hope that a person will date you eventually, just stop. Anybody that will date you will make it obvious that they like you. If a girl wants to date you, she's not going to tell you no one day then change her mind later. I made this same mistake when I was younger as I'm sure a lot of guys do, but seriously you're just setting yourself up for disappointment if you try to convince yourself you have a chance with someone that isn't interested.

C.) Don't ever use someone else's phone without their permission. You know that you fucked up by pretending to be her & texting that guy but you need to understand that you really fucked up the second that you touched her phone without her knowledge.

I think you should really reflect on what you did & focus on doing better in the future. I know you want a girlfriend & probably feel insecure about the fact that you don't have one but you're obviously cool enough to have female friends, so if you just chill the fuck out you'll eventually meet some that want to be with you as more than friends. YOU WILL KNOW when you meet that person, I guarantee you.

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ExoticWeapon t1_ix2hif6 wrote

On the flip side, and this is just for everyone out there. Literally everyone, if you’re into someone and they don’t feel the same way it’s okay to say “I’m not super interested in new friends, I was just wanting to see if you were into me”.

But don’t pretend, never pretend like you’re okay with being friends when deep down you know you’re not.

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Snoo_61002 t1_ix1xqxt wrote

To be blunt, you are the walking red flags person here.

There's no such thing as the friend zone, because you're not entitled to more than being a girls friend. If you can't handle being her friend that's fine, slowly disengage the relationship. Don't throw a tantrum and pull an ultimatum. Remember she doesn't owe you anything, so you're lucky to be her friend. But you have decimated and betrayed that friendship.

Secondly, Felix is allowed to be confident.

Thirdly you had no right to intervene in their relationship in such a deceptive and manipulative way.

You have a lot of work to do on yourself. What you did is unacceptable. Try and learn/grow from it.

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kishers_world OP t1_ix1zc93 wrote

This isn’t an excuse but I care about her and yeah I shouldn’t have done it but what else could I have done?

I don’t want to force her to break up with him but she’s going to get hurt either way. I’ll be lucky if she forgives me and we start talking again. It was in the heat of the moment and I took the only opportunity I saw and it was fucked up.

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Snoo_61002 t1_ix1zqi7 wrote

You should either have walked away from the friendship, or done nothing. Cause now you lose the friendship no matter what.

If you cared about her as your friend, and not as someone who you feel romantically entitled to, then you'd support her decision and keep supporting her autonomy. You don't get to force her to do anything.

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Airsteps350 t1_ix2894y wrote

What else you could have done? Let her make her own choices. It's not your job to intervene. You can make her aware and let her make an informed decision. You don't have to like her choices and people need to sometimes make mistakes to learn from that and grow.

I truly hope you will too but so far I mostly read from you: Yeah I fucked up and then a justification.

Good intentions do NOT justify the means. You did see " red flags" and became the red flag.

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Afro-the-kid t1_ix0l297 wrote

Damn thing like this happened in high school but it was the other way around,a friend of mine did the same thing till now we don’t talk I forgave her but we don’t talk just see each other say hey and bye

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ligmuhtaint t1_ix19hix wrote

1 : Let people make their own decisions without interfering. People fuck up, so be it. That's life. 2 : These types of feelings are normal, but acting on them isn't usually a good thing unless you know someone is in real danger. Now you look like more of a dick than the guy you tried to separate her from. Learn from this, control your jealous feelings from now on. Try to surround yourself with people who will help you understand when you're doing something wrong, that's what real friends do. Don't kick yourself down and just move on from this, you're too young to be hung up on one woman like this. Take your lessons learned and apply them the next time you feel this way.

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Your_mate_kev t1_ix1p6e2 wrote

Very highschool drama 😅 But yes dick move. It's a confusing time In a teenagers life to deal with emotions that can be raw enough to make us to rash things. Your reflecting on it and I assume by posting in /tifu youve realised an error and you'll learn from it. Misteps in life are necessary to learn from. Otherwise everyone would be perfect and this this subreddit would not exist. I'd definitely be making best efforts to make things right.

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Reasonable_Fun_6709 t1_ix1rv9g wrote

As a fellow 16 year old who has a huge crush on somebody, I think your problem stems from a place of not knowing when to stop. Still being freinds with her while she dated someone who has many red flags, was not a good move.

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RobinWood888 t1_ix3b6ly wrote

regardless of if he is one, YOU sound like the red flag here.

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wanderingdev t1_ix3gqo1 wrote

Oof. You're heading down the slippery slope to nice guy/incel. Put the breaks on before you cross the line. No one is obligated to like you just because you like them and you're creepy behavior here just proved she was right to "friend zone" you

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kishers_world OP t1_ix3hp8b wrote

It’s not cause I like her, it’s cause I’m genuinely concerned. But it doesn’t matter what I say anymore, I can’t dictate who she can or can’t be with no matter what.

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wanderingdev t1_ix3rp4a wrote

But you do like her, which means everything you do and say is suspect because you're seeing it through that lense. You can't help people who don't want it and most people won't welcome your interference in their lives. Mind your own business

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WTFSophisticatedSam t1_ix3udhs wrote

Yeah bud. Liking someone doesnt give u the authority to be a dick and invade her privacy by trying to hamper their relationship. Sure, felix could be a manipulative and toxic guy, but u gotta remember that it's your friend's choice to be with whoever they like. The only thing I'm getting from reading this post is that you are the one acting like a walking red flag. I'm 19 now so I've been in your shoes only recently but going through someone's phone and texting other people behind their backs isn't something I wouldn't even contemplate doing.

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Squigglepig52 t1_ix3vig5 wrote

Pretty certain nothing will happen, that is - you fucked that friendship up huge, dude.

You had a friend, you got a crush, you took your shot. got shot down, and didn't get the message.

And then you went full stupid.

Yeah, that friendship is done, dude.

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Virus-Downtown t1_ix0d9eq wrote

Oh being a kid 😂 I had a crush on pretty much every girl I knew growing up at one time or another 😉 this is actually good for your chances with the girl. Out of 300 kids in my graduating class, 2 couples got married and stayed together over 5years. 2 couples, 4 people, 0.13%. let her get that outa her system early gif

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